I heart you @shevvac. I don't know what I would do if I were you except fight like hell to find some better solutions than you seem to have now.
I think of you a lot. I don't know that I'm as driven as you, but I do feel like I'm in "fight like hell" mode now. I AM driven enough to want to be proud of the work I do. I'm not there right now and it's SO FRUSTRATING. Some days it would be nice to be able to throw a good toddler tantrum...
I don't want you to think I was insinuating that you should be "as driven as me." I just know that you feel trapped right now and I don't think that the obvious solutions, hiring more help or staying at home, are in YOUR best interest. I'm so pissed for you because this situation really really sucks.
Stay at home? At this point I would seriously ask myself whether the stress you are putting on yourself is worth it and whether the kids spare getting enough quality time. I left a pretty well paying job for that exact reason, at least until the kids are a bit older. Part time is an option but honestly not as easy as it sounds. If you can afford to stay home then what are your concerns around that? Pm me if you want to talk... I left my job not too long after a promotion so that was not the issue there.
I've been thinking about this and I'm not sure I know what I want. I love my job and get a lot of satisfaction from it when I feel like I'm doing a good job. But obviously the commute is wearing on me and my family. My biggest concern is that choosing to stay home is pretty much giving up on a career in tech. I can't easily go back after taking time off. I'm not ready to stay home for good.
I totally get this! It's a really tough decision and it's a little easier staying home with one older kid too. I just felt i was "bad" at everything ... Wife, mother, job. But it's not that hard for me to get back into a job. And there are definitely things I miss (including some of the spending money) but my overall stress level is so much healthier