You have been through so much. ((hugs)) there is nothing harder.
It's not always possible, but it does help me on days like this to have a little something around my mom liked. My mom would be 88 this Monday. She loved lilies of the valley, and I have a stand of them growing in the back yard and usually put a vase of them out on her bday (her little vase). She also liked lilacs, and there are a few bushes in the backyard too, just because they remind me of her. Her favorite cake was white coconut, and I like to make one now and again, just to enjoy for her. After a while, it became something that feels good, to visit the cemetery on a sunny day. It all takes time, and it is so soon for you. ((hugs)) you are in my thoughts.
thank you. I often find comfort in wearing her most lovely jewelry every day. Because...it's her.
I'm so sorry. Wearing her jewelry is a great way to honor her memory. My mom would have been 71 today; we donate her age to her favorite charity every year.