Crying in arms ?

[carfar]

DS ( 5 months) has been increasingly hard to get down. We generally cradle in arms and pat and sing to sleep, and it used to work fairly quickly, but now he is crying in arms a lot of times when we do this. It feels horrible that my comforting is now seeming to cause crying. If I put him down, he also cries...  and that doesn't feel good either... He's not hungry or hot or in pain or anything, that I can tell, just tired. (rubbing eyes, yawning etc) I've tried attempting to get him to sleep earlier... but no matter when I pick up on the tired cues... it just seems like a crapshoot whether or not he'll calmly be lulled to sleep or cries until he's ready to sleep, with the crying winning more and more (up to about 40 minutes sometimes and not just fussing, full on break your heart crying after he gets going) .

Anyone else experience this? Do I need to keep looking for a possible problem to why he's crying? I googled crying in arms... (I know, I know..) and most of what I read made me feel totally crappy like no baby will just cry for no reason while being held, so maybe there is a reason?  How do I help him?    I'm not sure if any sort of sleep training would help? In general I wasn't into any CIO solutions... but if he's crying anyway.... 

[lynn07]

Sleep training might help. He might be mad because he knows what you're trying to do, and he still wants to see the world, even though he's tired. Putting him in his crib to calm down might show him that he's not getting out of the nap. We stopped rocking DS1&2 to sleep when they were a few months old because it's seemed to work them up more.

FWIW, DS3 is 6.5 weeks, and even when I try to rock him to sleep he cries in my arms. Only for a couple of minutes, but it still makes me feel like crap.

[sillygoosegirl]

No advice, but we are in this situation too. I think maybe she is teething, but I'm not sure what I can do for that at bedtime other than tylenol, which DH "doesn't want to be giving her every night just to get her to sleep." But anyway, I think this has been going on since before she was teething.

There are definitely nights where I feel like we are doing CIO anyway, in spite of our attempts to not be doing CIO. I've read about a number of no-cry sleep training methods, but they all seem to work under the assumption that you can actually effectively soothe your baby, typically the assumption is that picking up your baby will stop/prevent crying. Though really, the most hilarious are the ones that say to soothe your baby without picking her up. LOL. Yeah, if I could figure out how to do that, I think I wouldn't be reading up on sleep training.

We have a few times gotten something that seemed to work for a few days, even up to a week or so, but it's like she learns the signs that it is about to be bed time (recognizes the routine or whatnot), and instead of getting sleepy/ready for bed, she starts crying like she knows what is coming.

It sucks.

[carfar]

Apr 27, 2015 10:59:40 GMT -5 sillygoosegirl said:

No advice, but we are in this situation too. I think maybe she is teething, but I'm not sure what I can do for that at bedtime other than tylenol, which DH "doesn't want to be giving her every night just to get her to sleep." But anyway, I think this has been going on since before she was teething.

There are definitely nights where I feel like we are doing CIO anyway, in spite of our attempts to not be doing CIO. I've read about a number of no-cry sleep training methods, but they all seem to work under the assumption that you can actually effectively soothe your baby, typically the assumption is that picking up your baby will stop/prevent crying. Though really, the most hilarious are the ones that say to soothe your baby without picking her up. LOL. Yeah, if I could figure out how to do that, I think I wouldn't be reading up on sleep training.


It sucks.

I'm not sure it's teething, either because usually if it's teeth, I feel like he's fussy during the day, too... Yea... that is why I had to step away from the google of the crying in arms... there truly is some crazy stuff out there that is just not helpful for me to read when I know he has a clean diaper, a full belly, and is not sick, but is there crying in my face.      

One gem from the Kelly mom FB group that came up in my search;  

 "I have never had this problem. If nursing doesn't work then he is hurt but eventually calms down. Outside always works too. If a baby is crying in your arms something is really wrong IMO. The only time I say a baby that could not be calmed was a baby girl who was fed formula and fully vaccinated. She was 3 months and my son was 2 weeks older. It was night and day. He was all happy and smiles and she just cried. It was heartbreaking.
April 21, 2012 at 1:34pm · Like

Da fuq?!  

[momin2013]

We went through this when DS was around the same age. DH and I took turns rocking him/walking around to try to get him to settle at night. We even tried music playing, which seemed to help a bit, as it seemed to be a bit of a distraction for him. We still talk about how we thought our arms were going to give out from all the rocking!

I've heard this referred to as the "witching hour".

That was around the time that DS seemed to fall into more of a schedule rather than just eating/sleeping/playing periods. It was also the time we started an actual bedtime routine of bath, pj's-sleepsack, read a few books, nurse/rock to sleep in the glider. We found that started to work better than just carrying him around/rocking/shushing.

[carfar]

Apr 27, 2015 11:08:39 GMT -5 oceanspray said:

Could you try swaddling him while he is in your arms with a blanket? DD is 11 months and still likes to be swaddled during snuggle time.

He is still either swaddled, or in a merlin, and has been since he was NB. Cries through that too. We also do same whole routine we've always done... bath (sometimes) Bottle, book, songs and rocking. 

[elocrates]

If it is a very recent change, I would consider teeth or ears as the culprit.

If has been a progressive issue, I offer the following andecdotes:
DS1: Same problem around that same age. Turns out he was over-tired. Moving his bedtime to 30 minutes earlier solved the problem.
DS3: Same problem, around 6 months. Was getting overstimulated by use rocking/ bouncing/ patting. Two days of sleep training and he was going to bed without a fuss (and has been for the 2 years since then).

[matildasun]

M went through a phase of this. Holding him facing me tight against my chest with one hand pressed firmly on his back while I rocked side to side was the only thing that worked to calm him down.

[ringstrue]

Sometimes DS has liked to fall asleep semi-upright. Actually when he was a newborn he only fell asleep upright on my shoulder. It might be time to try different positions, swaying, bouncing a bit, etc. He might need more/different "stimuli" to get him to conk out.

[ringstrue]

Oh! When you rock, make sure the head wobbles back and forth a tiny bit (just enough to shift weight a little). If the head is held in position too perfectly it can stop them from getting into the groove.

[anaps28]

Yup a week or so ago this started for us ( he is 6 months) So we are doing CIO. I don't plan to let him cry more than 25 min before going in but he has never cried for more than 20 oddly enough. Some days he doesn't cry at all.

[Deleted]

I donmt know how to fix your issue, but most babies will cry for no reason that I've seen. Mine certainly does. It sounds like just a new stage and he is ready for a new routine. I'm sure if you try some of these suggestions you'll find something that work.

Good luck! It's definitely not something you are doing wrong:)

[Deleted]

Some babies cry to wind down at the end of the day. When DD was inconsolable, I would put her in her bed with her pacifier and she would scream for a few minutes and then fall asleep. It kind of made me sad though that I couldn't calm her down myself, but some kids need a bit of space to relax.

[felicity]

DS has been going through bouts of this sort of crying sometimes too. He's 5 mo and we are planning to try sleep training this weekend, mostly for night wake ups, but hoping it will help when he cries like this too. I'll sometimes stick a pacifier in just until he calms down. He also seems to like it when I cradle him on his side, pressed up against me, and I do big fast swinging/rocking motions, and sometimes walk around in a circle too. I think all the motion distracts him. Sticking him in the carrier and getting on the elliptical always knocks him right out too, which is where I got the big fast swinging motion idea, lol. I try to mimic that sort of speed and feel. Sometimes I'll sing/hum while I do this too which seems to help.

[gibbinator]

If this has been a gradual occurrence, I'd guess he just doesn't want to go to sleep even though he's obviously tired. The world is an interesting place dontcha know!
Whether you KOKO waiting for this phase to be over (and eventually every phase does end), or try sleep training in the crib is up to you.
I have to rock super fast in order to get ds2 to rock to sleep calmly. Otherwise it's all tears from the moment he's in his sleep sack. The effort involved is the main reason I nurse to sleep whenever possible.

[teatimefor2]

The same thing happened to DS2 at five months. This was last month and we ended up sleep training him. He was crying in our arms, in the crib, whilst being rocked and refused to nurse to sleep. It was horrible. This was happening for everything sleep related; bed and naps.

He is so much happier now! I put him down to sleep and he either babbles, cries for a few minutes or goes right to sleep. I honestly think he was just ready to learn to self soothe. I tried everything for a week and nothing was working.

Hugs, this was super hard for me and i am sure it is for you too. Good luck - it's tough when they change routine!