If you loan $$ to a friend UPDATED

[shell403b]

Do you assume that it's just a gift, that it won't be repaid, and if it is, that's a bonus?

I just did this (a small amt) and I honestly am thinking that it's a gift (even though he swears it will be repaid, in relatively short order). If it gets repaid, bonus. If I didn't have it to give to him, I wouldn't have (I used my fun $$). I know he needed it.

I am fine with *giving* him the $$...I was just wondering what random internet strangers think about it: gift v. actual loan.

[Deleted]

I never loan. If I decide to give "I say here it is...don't worry about paying back" That way it eliminates all akwardness

[Mrs.Beagle]

I would assume I won't be seeing that money again.

[fbf2006]

We've done it as gifts for a couple of friends.

[bliss]

I always pay people back. Even if they say don't. I hate knowing that I borrowed money from someone and never paid them back. I just couldn't do that.

[noodleoo]

I've never had a friend ask me for money. I'm glad, because it would bother me if they said they would pay it back but never did.

[glynn2009]

If we agree on a loan I would expect payment back. I have also gave money to my sister when she did not have money to pay her electric bill. I wrote a check to the electric company and told her not to pay it back.
I have received help before with no strings attached so I try to pay it forward.

[GailGoldie]

Aug 14, 2012 10:44:27 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

I've never had a friend ask me for money. I'm glad, because it would bother me if they said they would pay it back but never did.

this. Even if i never expected to get it back and knew it was more of a "gift" if the friend said they would pay it back and didn't- i'd still be pissed... b/c that's not much of a friend.

loaning/giving money to friends is never a good thing (unelss a true gift of course)

[Deleted]

I would view it as a gift, and only give an amount i could truly afford not to see again. I hate the idea of hounding a friend for repayment.

[phoenixrising]

I never loan out an amount of money I can't afford to lose. I have never had anyone ask me for a big loan, but my basic thought is that I don't want to ruin a friendship by worrying about repayment. Therefore, repayment is a bonus but not necessary!

[madringal]

I recently sold my elliptical to my very best friend. She has been my BFF for 15 years and the elliptical is only $700. She asked to make payments every month of $100. I told my DH from the very beginning, that if she never pays me a dollar for it, I will never ask. He completly understood. I can't imagine that she won't pay me the money, but even if she didn't I wouldn't lose such a important friendship over a few hundred dollars. She means way more to me then the money or the elliptical. So far, we are 4 months in and no issues.

[Deleted]

I never lend $ nor things expecting it back. Unfortunately it usually seems like I never get it either.

[luvmagoldn]

Always gift (as opposed to loan) only what you can afford. If it comes back, fantastic. That's my take.

[mbcdefg]

I've been burned too many times to ever loan out money again that I expect to get back.

If I'm not fine with the thought of it never being repaid (whether I trust the person enough to eventually repay me, or if I care about them enough to make it a gift), then I don't give it out.

MH and his friend regularly buy each other concert tickets and eventually pay each other back. When I go out with my BFF we usually never carry cash, so someone will put the bill on her debit card and the other covers dinner the next time. My sister used to never pay me back (and I'd front money for her anyway because she's my sister), but she's gotten better at it in recent years.

I've lost at least one casual friendship over this. I bought comedy tickets I couldn't use, she agreed to buy them from me, I stupidly forwarded her the etickets before she paid me, and afterward she ignored all my calls and emails. Another former friend was a jerk about money, but we lost touch because overall she was just a nut.

[hulley]

I don't think I have ever had a friend ask me for money. I put up a good front of being broke.

The most money I've ever lent/gifted was if someone forgot a credit/debit card at a meal or wasn't carrying cash at a place that didn't take cards. That is always just freely given.

[agnes]

For the most part, loan it out not expecting to get it back.

There was one time that we bailed MIL out of jail and fully expected her to pay us back. She did. In monthly installments. Very long story.

[crazycakes]

Aug 14, 2012 10:41:23 GMT -5 vigurl said:

I never loan. If I decide to give "I say here it is...don't worry about paying back" That way it eliminates all akwardness

Yep. I actually had a friend pay me back over a year later for a $200 loan/gift, and I was shocked. I ended up taking her out to dinner since I considered it "free" money.

(Note: The dinner did not cost $200)

[crazycakes]

Aug 14, 2012 11:17:11 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

MH and his friend regularly buy each other concert tickets and eventually pay each other back. When I go out with my BFF we usually never carry cash, so someone will put the bill on her debit card and the other covers dinner the next time.

Actually, I have several friends like this as well. We basically go back and forth "picking up the tab" for various things. But, since we do it frequently, I don't consider it a loan. We all know it comes back around. I'm pretty sure it's all evened out eventually.

[ckinla]

If I loan, I assume it's gone, which is why I would never loan more than like 50 bucks (I can't afford to lose even that). But I would certainly HOPE they would pay me back. I also hate when people "pay you back" by buying you drinks/meals. I want my CASH!

[hocus]

It really depends on context. If I say cover lunch for a friend then yes I expect their return the favor. If someone asked to borrow $100 then I'd probably not expect to get it back.

[Deleted]

I never loan money for this reason. You can never expect to get it back.

[lys]

Small loans I consider gifts. Large loans I ask for repayment and then at the half way point I tell them they do not need to pay back any more. (That part I do not tell them about ahead of time.)
The largest loan I have given was 16K and I cannot just give that much away. I am more than satisfied to get 8K back and call it good.

[lys]

Small loans I consider gifts. Large loans I ask for repayment and then at the half way point I tell them they do not need to pay back any more. (That part I do not tell them about ahead of time.)
The largest loan I have given was 16K and I cannot just give that much away. I am more than satisfied to get 8K back and call it good.

[M]

I don't lend money to people anymore. I did a couple times when I was in college and never got paid back. So if I lend any any small amount of money...it's considered a gift and only to close friends, but none of them need money so it doesn't even matter.

[Myrrhine]

I've never had anyone ask me for a real loan. With my friends, we may buy concert tickets for a group (expect to be paid back) / cover lunch (don't care) / grab coffee (definitely don't care) for each other. But I have never had someone ask me for money to pay bills or something.

I certainly would never lend money if I was in a financial situation where I really needed it back.

[dexteroni]

Aug 14, 2012 19:08:18 GMT -5 Myrrhine said:

I've never had anyone ask me for a real loan. With my friends, we may buy concert tickets for a group (expect to be paid back) / cover lunch (don't care) / grab coffee (definitely don't care) for each other. But I have never had someone ask me for money to pay bills or something.

This is exactly what I was coming in here to say. My broke friends tend to hit up their parents, not their friends.

[315bride]

I have lent a friend $$$$ thinking that I may not see it again. Friend agreed to pay back and, so far, has been good about regular payments. We haven't discussed it since we made the agreement. If a payment is late, I'm not bothered. I anticipate that once my friend gets a little more back on track financially, I'll get the remainder in full.

ETA: I made the offer to loan the money. I have done this with several friends. Two others who didn't take the offer: one who lost a job and one who experienced a life altering financial burden (accident that prevented work for a long time).

[shell403b]

He paid me back ALREADY! As in, TODAY. I was surprised (happily surprised).

[aspentosh]

Aug 14, 2012 19:08:18 GMT -5 Myrrhine said:

I've never had anyone ask me for a real loan. With my friends, we may buy concert tickets for a group (expect to be paid back) / cover lunch (don't care) / grab coffee (definitely don't care) for each other. But I have never had someone ask me for money to pay bills or something.

I certainly would never lend money if I was in a financial situation where I really needed it back.

Exactly this.