Post by vivaladiva on Aug 14, 2012 10:50:46 GMT -5
Friends of ours announced on FB they are expecting twins last week, and yesterday I get the baby shower invite in the mail.
The invite is so frickin' cute and I am happy for them because they are lovely people. But of course I'm totally jealous . They're even having one of each (boy and girl), my pie-in-the-sky, one-in-a-million, dream-come-true scenario LOL. (Never happen, twins are nowhere in my fam.) I can't go to the shower (whew?) but I'll send a good present. They'll need it, with twins.
I've... not done well at the last couple of baby showers I've been to. I go and put on a good face, am a good party guest, but I would just when I got home. H is so undersanding about it. He senses when I'm reaching my 'party face' limit and whisks me home.
Post by prairieglitter on Aug 14, 2012 11:20:58 GMT -5
Awww, sorry girl. (}) FWIW, I think you're a champ for being able to be honest about the way it makes you feel AND remain supportive and generous to your friends.
2) I know you think she is super-lucky for having twins, and of course all babies are blessings, but just go read about trying to breastfeed twins, or change two diapers on twin squirming babies simultaneously, for example, and then see if you are still jealous.
haha This. My bestie is due with twins (also one of each) in October. Also incredibly exciting and wonderful since they've been trying forever, but at the same time, she's even apprehensive about the crazy work two will be.
Post by Cheesecake on Aug 14, 2012 11:57:56 GMT -5
You're doing better than I am. I'm having a seriously hard time even congratulating people with their pregnancy/baby's birth without having a serious sob fest at home.
How long have you guys been trying (sorry if you already told us, I forgot)
I wouldn't be so jealous of the twins though. From what I hear twins often also come with some health problems and 2 hands + 2 babies means no hand left to drink the much needed coffee
The thought of twins literally makes give pause to having children. We talked about the possibility and I think we could manage it, but I would never in my wildest dreams wish for it.
Why are you so upset about other people expecting and baby showers?
I thought you just recently came of BC and haven't really started trying yet?
You don't have to be actively trying in in order to be jealous of other people having kids. Until now, life circumstances (mostly my career) meant that we couldn't easily have kids unless I was willing to accept a huge career penalty (I'm a navigator in the Air Force, and in my type of aircraft pregnancy = no flying because of the hazards to mom and baby. No flying = no career advancement and a lot of missed training opportunities).
Was I still jealous every time someone I worked with announced their wife was expecting? Heck yes!!! It sucks to think that my career could suffer for being a pregnant WOMAN in my job, but that guys don't suffer any penalties when their wives are pregnant.
So yeah, even though we just started trying this month doesn't mean I haven't spent the last 7 or so years of my life getting a little jealous when my friends had kids.
Why are you so upset about other people expecting and baby showers?
I thought you just recently came of BC and haven't really started trying yet?
We had all kinds of personal and health reasons why we couldn't start TTC sooner. I also have health issues with which I know that if it doesn't come natural, I just will not have children. Getting any kind of assistance (clomid, full on IVF or anything in between) will either kill me or just shorten my life so significantly that it would be unfair to DH or a possible child.
The fact that others don't have that restriction and/or get pregnant their first cycle trying (or not even trying) makes me jealous. A friend of mine dealt with infertility, it was her H's low motility. IVF was so flipping easy for her that the doctors even recommended only placing 1 embryo each time. She got pregnant each time, no embryos lost, carried to term, no high risk pregnancy, her H's swimmers just needed some assistance.
If DH and I would have their problem, we just CAN'T have children.
So yeah, I get jealous. I got jealous way way way before we started trying. And I'll stay jealous until I've delivered a healthy baby. It's not that I'm not happy for them, but I AM jealous.
P.S. Sorry Diva for hijacking, don't know what your situation is, but the fact that someone doesn't get why someone might be jealous gets me up in arms!
Post by vivaladiva on Aug 14, 2012 13:23:03 GMT -5
Thank you ladies. Autumn, what they said. I've wanted to have babies for a loooooong time. But we chose not to immediately have them for all the reasons stated above. If we had a lot of money, I'd have been Michelle Duggar-ing it up in this piece.
So you haven't missed anything - I'm just starting to try, but this is a thought I've had since I was little and seeing people reach that milestone first sparks jealousy. Just like when I was 16 and wanted to drive and my friends got their licenses first and I waited until I was 18 so that my parents insurance didn't go through the roof. For everyone's good, and I'm glad I waited; but shit, doesn't mean that I won't look longingly at my friend behind the wheel of a car and I'm riding shotgun still.