OMG, you guys. Hold me. IL-related vent.

[mrs.jacinthe]

MIL has only been here since Saturday night and she is already driving me crazy.

This morning, she got up and decided to go sit on the deck. Fine. Next thing you know, she's back in the house asking where we keep our deck broom because she wants to sweep it (OMG - there are leaves and twigs on it from our deck tree). I told her NOT to sweep the deck, to let H do it when he gets home. Next thing I know, she's gotten INTO OUR SHED for the broom and is sweeping the deck. THEN she started asking where the rags were so she can wash down our deck furniture.

I know I'm being unreasonable, but this makes me insane. I don't like other people messing with our stuff and H is going to be upset that she went into the shed - he's very particular about his stuff.

I feel like I'm dealing with a stubborn toddler, not a grown woman. And dude - it's already 90+ degrees outside, and she has health issues. I can't stop her from overexerting herself. But now she's going to be "paying" for her overexertion for the next week and complaining about how bad she feels.

Someone hold me and tell me it'll be ok. LOL

[Deleted]

LOL!
My MIL while I love her is that way too. She's crazy ambitious no matter where she is whether she should be sometimes or not.
I've learned to embrace it. When she asks for the vacuum or wants to make dinner I say go ahead and walk away so I don't have to witness it and say thank you later.
I know it's annoying, but if she's anything like my MIL she means well and sometimes with old people there is no reasoning so you pick your battles wisely. Some people just like to busy. I know my MIL goes insane at her kids' house when she stays because she's so used to outside and being busy that she doesn't know what to do with herself otherwise.

[firechiefsbride]

Does she have a handy hobby, like knitting? Maybe taking her to a craft store to get something to do will help?

You can do this. You'll be fine.

[Deleted]

It will be fine. Take a deep breath. I'll say this on the assumption that she isn't the kind of mom/MIL that complains your house isn't clean enough. If she isn't: I know when my mom visits she sometimes does things around the house without me asking - it's her way of making sure I'm not waiting on her the entire visit. Let her do a small job if she wants - it will help her feel useful while she's there. Mothers need to feel useful. I'm sure she knows her physical limitations.

[adhdfashion]

I'll take her off your hands! I need my back patio cleaned. LOL Sounds like she needs to feel useful. I second taking her to a craft store. Tell her you really need some new pot holders or a scarf or something.

[mrs.jacinthe]

Aug 14, 2012 11:49:22 GMT -5 firechiefsbride said:

Does she have a handy hobby, like knitting? Maybe taking her to a craft store to get something to do will help?

You can do this. You'll be fine.

She's an artist and she brought her art stuff with her ... but apparently cleaning the twig detritus off my deck makes her happier.

I mean ... I guess it's ungrateful and kind of immature of me to be irritated that someone else is doing a (near-daily) chore so I don't have to. But I can't help but feel like she thinks our cleaning habits aren't good enough.

[homeslice]

My mom can't sit still when she visits either...just accept it:) It's actually nice of her to help out...

[Deleted]

Aug 14, 2012 11:57:03 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

Aug 14, 2012 11:49:22 GMT -5 firechiefsbride said:

Does she have a handy hobby, like knitting? Maybe taking her to a craft store to get something to do will help?

You can do this. You'll be fine.

She's an artist and she brought her art stuff with her ... but apparently cleaning the twig detritus off my deck makes her happier.

I mean ... I guess it's ungrateful and kind of immature of me to be irritated that someone else is doing a (near-daily) chore so I don't have to. But I can't help but feel like she thinks our cleaning habits aren't good enough.

Meh. I know it's hard not to feel that way, but in the world of inlaws a positive spin makes everything better. Make her a pot of coffee for when she's done, say thanks and be happy she wanted to just be helpful.

[pamela]

My MIL totally does that (swept our long, circular drive the last time she was at our old house). I don't care. I really expected more from this rant. Especially if she's doing outside cleaning. She just can't sit still.

[thiswillbe]

Aug 14, 2012 11:57:03 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

But I can't help but feel like she thinks our cleaning habits aren't good enough.

Oooh, I hate that! I remember the first time my MIL busted out a mop on her 2nd day of visiting. I was mortified!

[mrs.jacinthe]

Aug 14, 2012 12:11:50 GMT -5 pamela said:

My MIL totally does that (swept our long, circular drive the last time she was at our old house). I don't care. I really expected more from this rant. Especially if she's doing outside cleaning. She just can't sit still.

LOL. There's plenty else to rant and rave about. But this is the most recent thing and therefore fresh in my mind.

Probably more relatable as a rant is that she whines when she doesn't get her way, talks over everyone (with included rabbit trails), and thinks I'm a crazy leftist nutjob who has (most likely) polluted/ruined her son. (FWIW, I'm a moderate. Fiscal conservative and social liberal.)

If she only knew ...

[lys]

If you do not want her sweeping or cleaning on the deck - the GIVE HER A JOB TO DO!

[mrs.jacinthe]

Aug 14, 2012 17:42:16 GMT -5 lys said:

If you do not want her sweeping or cleaning on the deck - the GIVE HER A JOB TO DO!

Like what? I live in 850 sq ft. Everything was cleaned top-to-bottom 3 days ago, so only light vacuuming would be necessary. She's not healthy enough to dust, even if there was already dust accumulated. We don't have kids. The pets sleep all day. She's really looking forward to my cooking, since I try to accommodate all her allergies and things. She doesn't drive.

The only job I can think of that might need done is holding the couch down and emptying the DVR. Honestly. I just don't see what to ask her to do? Any ideas would be welcome.

[Deleted]

Random suggestions:

Do you have pictures that need sorting? Tupperware that needs organizing? Even a bit of easy, nonoffensive laundry (towels, guest bed sheets)? Breakables in a storage closet that need better packing?

My Mom gets the biggest kick out doing stupid tasks like that when she visits?

Is she good at cooking anything? Ask her to make her speciality.

Otherwise, really just let her do whatever she finds. Like I said, it's hard not to think she thinks your house is less than stellar, but roll with it. She's occupied and you got what we call the b*tch work around here out of the way.

[downtoearth]

Yeah, sounds like she's just trying to be helpful - even if she doesn't listen to you, it probably makes her feel good to feel like she's helping her son and DIL. I'd just thank her for helping out and then come up with something you could do out of the house so you don't feel like you have to clean with her during her whole visit.