Wanna talk kid sleeping?

[iamgrace]

Soooo, crib sleep is a massive fail.

We started to see some pretty serious negative repercussions regarding CIO. He started hyterically screaming all through bath, and leading up to bath. His behavior during the day changed, he became more clingy, difficult to be with, etc. I didn't like it, and maybe I'm wrong, but yes, I'm chalking it up to CIO.

CIO started out fine, and he was textbook - 45, 12, 3, then 1 minute of crying. But then it all went to shit. And I'm not sure I always want him crying before he sleeps. Would there ever be a time when he wont cry?

It started with him whimpering whenever I talked about bedtime, and went downhill from there.

He is back in our bed. I'm not thrilled with this, but unwilling to see those negative changes in him. Maybe I needed to wait it out, but after three weeks, I didn't want to go any farther.

Maybe we gave up to soon, but it was hurting me, and him, and H. We weren't happy.

[meganew]

You need to do what's best for your family. CIO didn't work for our son, so we've adjusted and do a little of both. I've been told that they will eventually sleep on their own, so I just keep repeating that over and over. Lol.

[julez]

If CIO isn't working for him/for you, then it's not working and there's no reason to feel guilty or to feel pressured into continuing.

How old is your son? DD was a horrible crib sleeper (well, sleeper in general) until she was about a year old. Some kids just have a tough time sleeping, and it BLOWS.

If you want him out of your bed but he isn't ready for the crib yet, could you move him into a PnP in your room, next to your bed? Slowly inch him towards independence in his own room, if you will?

Something else that worked for us was the Fisher Price water sounds seahorse. I put it in our bed with us while DD was still in our bed, and then moved it with her into her crib for naps, and then eventually into her crib with her at night. Sort of a transition tool, if you will, and it smelled like me because it had been in our bed with us.

Sleep stuff is so hard, because every child is so different, and I feel like you have to keep trying things until something clicks for your kid.

[iamgrace]

Aug 14, 2012 12:48:45 GMT -5 meganew said:

You need to do what's best for your family. CIO didn't work for our son, so we've adjusted and do a little of both. I've been told that they will eventually sleep on their own, so I just keep repeating that over and over. Lol.

Yup. That's where we are right now in our thinking. It wasn't good for any of us. Henry was miserable, which made me miserable, which made H miserable.

We've been back to sleeping in our bed for 2 nights and I feel like we are still trying to make him trust us again through the whole bedtime routine. It makes me sad. He stilll cries before bath and needs a lot of coaxing to get in the tub.

[iamgrace]

he is 17 months.

[Deleted]

The seahorse or other such is a cute idea.

I'm so sorry, Grace That's heartbreaking to me (his reaction). CIO isn't for everyone.

[callalily]

CIO didn't work at all for DD. She would start the night in her crib and end up in our bed by 12. We ended up having to slowly wean her down. We started with a cosleeper that I borrowed from a friend, then moved her into a pack and play in our room, then brought her crib into our room, and then eventually put her in the room with her brother, and then finally in her own room. It was a loooong process, but now she rarely sleeps in our bed.

Don't feel bad about having to go back. Every kid needs something different, and sleep is the most frustrating because without it, everything is off. Do what's best for your family I'm so sorry you are going through this

[papie]

You know your child best, I think you made the right decision. try again in a few months.

[Deleted]

CIO did not work for us. We tried CIO for 3 weeks and we made absolutely no progress. After the third week we decided that enough was enough. Now the only way we can get her to sleep is if I rock her to sleep at night, then very carefully transfer her to her crib. Halfway though the night she wakes up and won't go back to sleep unless she comes to bed with us. It's the only way anyone gets any sleep.

I'm hoping that the she will just eventually sleep on her own. We are redecorating her room right now and I am hoping that once we get her into her toddler bed that it will feel enough like our bed that she will feel comfortable enough to sleep on her own. I dont even know anymore. At this point I'm willing to try anything. Lol.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry grace. I wish I had some advice for you.

[cleo29]

WHen you are ready to try again, try reading the Lois Kleint book Bedtime for Toddlers. It is really short (yay!) and it does not use CIO. It is about setting and maintaining a bedtime routine and basically making your child feel comfortable in their bed and trust that you will be there for them.

I would also consider moving him into a bed and not a crib. C started having a tough time sleeping and putting her in an actual bed made a huge difference.

[Ruby Gloom]

Grace, I could not do CIO w/N.

I had all of these negative imaginings that I'm not even going to put out there because I don't want to add to what anyone has already got going on, but I just couldn't do it. Let's just say that I have a phobia w/all of my kids that all goodbyes (even goodnights) HAVE to be warm, huggy-feely ones, just in case.

I would be up w/him all night long. He was the shittiest of sleepers. I thought I would die from lack of sleep. Then, one day he climbed out of his crib some time about 3-6 mos. ago. We converted his bed to the toddler bed and now he is the most contented sleeper.

I *think* the key to my kid is that everything has to be his idea. He led potty training. He led this sleeping through the night thing. He is in charge of staying in his bed, and he does it. He leads bedtime (to a degree). And we are all so much happier.

My point is, I think Henry (and you) will probably know when it is the best time to end co-sleeping. And he's your kid, so you know him (and you) best. I highly doubt he will bring his teenaged ass into your bed for bedtime.

[nahoku]

You guys are doing what is right for your family and that's important! I wish I had some advice for you - but we have a poor sleeper, too. DS has always been a crap sleeper and now, at 5, he is still coming to our room in the middle of the night. He has nightmares and just doesn't STTN. There have been occasional weeks here and there where he will do it, but they are few and far between.

I know it will stop at some point (right? it has to!), so for now, I just try to enjoy that my little guy still likes to snuggle with me and finds comfort with me.

[Deleted]

Aug 14, 2012 13:57:50 GMT -5 Que? said:

Aug 14, 2012 13:01:05 GMT -5 @ygmg said:

CIO did not work for us. We tried CIO for 3 weeks and we made absolutely no progress. After the third week we decided that enough was enough. Now the only way we can get her to sleep is if I rock her to sleep at night, then very carefully transfer her to her crib. Halfway though the night she wakes up and won't go back to sleep unless she comes to bed with us. It's the only way anyone gets any sleep.

I'm hoping that the she will just eventually sleep on her own. We are redecorating her room right now and I am hoping that once we get her into her toddler bed that it will feel enough like our bed that she will feel comfortable enough to sleep on her own. I dont even know anymore. At this point I'm willing to try anything. Lol.

This is pretty much us well.

Grace, I bite my tongue in a lot of these posts bc i don't want to offend anyone, but I really resent the implication here (and everywhere) that sleep is something to control and that there's only one way to do it.

I don't want to fight with my kid every night, and I don't want to create a pattern around bedtime that makes her associate it with negative feelings. I'm trusting that like everything else, it will fall into place. I don't feel the need to control it right now. She is healthy and getting enough sleep and that is what's important.

You know Henry best, and what's best for your family and you have to just know that that's all that matters.

I think this is very wise. My son is still rocked to sleep every night before being put into his crib. I often feel like I can't tell people that because it's not what you are "supposed" to do at this age.

But, like others have said, he's sleeping, we're sleeping and everyone is happy. Until that changes, I'm doing what I feel my kid needs.

[jaylea]

Hey, remember where I said I can't do CIO? Yeah, it just doesn't work for us - or, rather, I prefer the alternative of not worrying about it.

Mason's doing pretty well right now. But from 16.5-17/5 mos he was awful. I would rock him to sleep, put him to bed, then he'd be up once to several times a night.

And it turns out he was cutting teeth and having a language explosion that was disrupting his sleep.

DD was an awful sleeper for a while there, and now she's fine. Never did CIO, just did what worked for our family. Often that is bringing them into our bed midway through the night. No one is ruined forever from it.

So just do what works and don't feel bad about it. Always feel free to PM me if you want to chat. Sleep is rough, and just not a battle worth fighting for me.

[iamgrace]

That's again, everyone. I love all the support I get here. I know I'm doing what's right for us. I was so frustrated with cosleeping, and I gave it a shot. Didn't work, so here we are. I will follow his lead from now on.

[revolution]

I have no good advice. But, I read this earlier and my heart broke for you guys. Good luck! Enjoy him sleeping with you - it won't be forever, he won't be in high school and sleeping in your bed.

[saraandmichael]

=(

I don't think I could have done three weeks of what you did and I did CIO with both of my boys.

Maybe you can try again after he feels safe and secure about bedtime. You could also try doing it in a toddler bed when the time comes instead of in the crib.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry I think (like pp) you know what's best for your son and your family and that just may not be CIO. We moved my son to his crib in stages (slept in the swing in our room, then months later the swing in his room, then the nap nanny in his room, then finally in his crib and we just stopped swaddling last week when he started rolling). It takes time and I think each step has to feel right for you. If you're all happy sharing for the moment, I don't see any problem.

[daisyheadmaizie]

I'm so sorry, Grace. I was just thinking of you and wondering how things were going. You will find what works for when the time is right.i do hope you are able to find a solution that works for everyone. Sleep issues suck so hard.

[denise]

[iamgrace]

Teething always causes extra sleep bullshit in our house. he will literally nurse the whole night if I let him. Anyway, yes, I nurse him down in bed and can leave him for a few hours - on a good night. He usually wakes somewhat when I come to bed.

[gretchenindisguise]

Gah, I'm so sorry that it didn't work and that you're struggling so much.

I'm totally knocking on wood, but L seems to be doing better since turning 3. We're not really doing anything different, but she's sleeping better (still up until 9-10p). Last night sucked, but overall we're having more good days than bad days.

So basically - you're 1/2 way there!! omg, punch me now.

I wish there was a magical pill.

[Xyz]

CIO didn't work here either, she vomited, pooped and generally screamed herslef sick. I ended up putting a futon mattress next to the crib in her room, nursing her to sleep there and then leaving until she woke up again. It took a little while but eventually I was able to put her in the crib because it wasn't very far from "our bed". 6 months later she will generally stay in the crib until 3 am, then I crash on the floor mattress with her til morning. It's progress.

Once you regain trust, maybe try a pack and play next to your bed.

No one sleeps with their parents until college, he'll figure it out eventually.

Also the seahorse is magic.

[partiallysunny]

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

And yes, the seahorse is magic.

[cleo29]

Aug 15, 2012 8:41:09 GMT -5 @booby said:

i checked this morning and sure enough - a molar has popped through. poor baby.

the molars are the worst!

[iamgrace]

We are working on both molars and eye teeth right now. He won't let me get a good look, though.

[saraandmichael]

Aug 15, 2012 9:49:57 GMT -5 iamgrace said:

We are working on both molars and eye teeth right now. He won't let me get a good look, though.

molars and eye teeth are the most painful.

poor guy.

[jaylea]

We're in eye teeth hell right now too - they are taking FOREVER. His little gums are pointy, FFS.

[iamgrace]

Yes, pointy and white. I feel so bad for him.