@ WWYD: Possible infertile friend?

[madDawg228]

I never, ever bring up the topic of having kids with other married people unless they bring it up first. It's more because I hate people assuming I'm suffering from baby fever because I'm married.

I would try to keep the convo to non-@ related topics with her. If she is experiencing IF, she probably doesn't want to discuss it. If she wants to talk about, I would think she would bring it up.

[picksthemusic]

Aug 14, 2012 13:15:51 GMT -5 @jennuinne said:

If you're not super close, I wouldn't bring it up, especially b/c you are pg. Just be supportive, don't talk about baby stuff too much and if/when she's ready to discuss it, she will.

This. If you notice she's sad, though, you can always ask "Is there something bothering you? I'm here to talk if you need to," and leave it at that. If she wants to let you in with what's going on, she will. If not, you'll at least have given her the opportunity to talk about it, and she knows you're being supportive.

[amandasw]

Aug 14, 2012 13:43:20 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

This. If you notice she's sad, though, you can always ask "Is there something bothering you? I'm here to talk if you need to," and leave it at that. If she wants to let you in with what's going on, she will. If not, you'll at least have given her the opportunity to talk about it, and she knows you're being supportive.

I like this - I don't think though that you should pretend like nothing is wrong and don't say anything. If you care about her, I think it's a good idea to spend time with her and see if anything is going on. I wouldn't directly ask her if she's having IF problems, but opening to door so she knows it's ok to talk about it seems important.

[hallows]

Aug 14, 2012 13:57:42 GMT -5 @amandasw said:

Aug 14, 2012 13:43:20 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

This. If you notice she's sad, though, you can always ask "Is there something bothering you? I'm here to talk if you need to," and leave it at that. If she wants to let you in with what's going on, she will. If not, you'll at least have given her the opportunity to talk about it, and she knows you're being supportive.

I like this - I don't think though that you should pretend like nothing is wrong and don't say anything. If you care about her, I think it's a good idea to spend time with her and see if anything is going on. I wouldn't directly ask her if she's having IF problems, but opening to door so she knows it's ok to talk about it seems important.

I agree with all of this.

[fiddles]

As someone who is kind of in this situation (husband & I have been trying for close to 3 years with no luck) I feel I have a little insight. If you see her sad, ask her if anything is bugging her. If she says she's fine, leave it at that. Don't bring up the baby thing but also, don't walk on eggshells around her. Talk and act like you used to.

The biggest thing for me is when we do tell someone that it's taking a little longer than we thought they immediately get this look in their eyes like they feel sorry for us. Don't feel sorry. We are okay. Yeah it's sad but it's not something that consumes our life.

I had a friend that simply told me whenever I'm ready to talk she is there for me. That was the best thing someone could ever say. It allowed me to talk to her on my terms, when I was ready.

ETA I think you're a very sweet friend for caring about her and her situation