But you keep defending option #1, so I'm guessing that's what you really want to do. You should choose whichever option you really want, even if most of us wouldn't choose it (or advise it, lol).
ETA: And I adore my mom, and could easily live with her if it was just the two of us. But not with kids, and dogs, and anther adult sibling. I'm not an introvert and that would be too much even for me.
But you keep defending option #1, so I'm guessing that's what you really want to do. You should choose whichever option you really want, even if most of us wouldn't choose it (or advise it, lol).
Am I defending option 1? Lol
I was/am actually slightly leaning toward option 2 but was wondering if I was letting my desire for space be the only consideration and being foolish for not giving more consideration to the money saving of option 1
Anyway, I spoke with landlord just a bit ago and she said she'd give only ask for a small deposit because it's such a short time and she knows my family. She's going to send me the contract/lease agreement to look over today. I think I am going to go with option 2.
I'd do number 1 for that short of time. You'd be saving so much and if you need a break you could take the kids away for a weekend to a hotel or out to dinner or whatever.
Post by hopecounts on May 21, 2015 12:55:56 GMT -5
How bad do you need/want the money you could save and how much help would you have with moving everything? As a major introvert having the house next door would be ideal (help at hand but not in my living room all the time) But depending on what saving the money is for it might be worth it to me to suck it up to put that in the bank.
I don't know? It just kind of seemed like you kept coming up with reasons why it would be ok. I wondered if maybe you just wanted reassurance that it would work. Glad you're getting close to a decision!
When we sold out house we had about 3 months before the new place was ready for move-in and so we lived with my in-laws for that time. It was awesome and I don't particulay like my in-laws! Even setting aside the savings, I'd prob still suggest living with your family b/c they will be such a help with your kids and it's for a finite amount of time. If the situation was indefinite, my answer would be different, but having that end-date changes everything, imo.
I don't know? It just kind of seemed like you kept coming up with reasons why it would be ok. I wondered if maybe you just wanted reassurance that it would work. Glad you're getting close to a decision!
I'm trying to convince myself of option 1 because of the money savings, but everyone is right, it's not worth my sanity lol.
Post by starryfish on May 21, 2015 13:11:40 GMT -5
I would do Option 1 because 6 months is not TOO long...if you ever need a break, you can also go on a mini-trip to get away. That is a LOT of money to save.
Do you work? Do your parents work? If the answer to one of those is yes, I'd stay with them. You'll get time away. If the answer to both is no, I'd definitely get the other house.
Do you work? Do your parents work? If the answer to one of those is yes, I'd stay with them. You'll get time away. If the answer to both is no, I'd definitely get the other house.
I don't work, no. My dad is retired and my mom will be teaching starting in August.
So when we first moved here, we lived with my parents. My dad worked from home, I stayed home, my H and mom worked.
It was ok, but I think that is only because my dad was locked away in his office most of the time. I couldn't have handled being home with him and my kids all day every day for 6mo.
For that reason alone, I'd get the house next door.
Post by thinkofthesoldiers on May 21, 2015 14:07:32 GMT -5
This seems like a lot of extra work for 6-8 months. Is there a reason beyond having your parents close by that you are moving to that area? I hate packing/unpacking/moving. You have a routine where you are at, right? Will your daughter spend her entire school year in the same school if you move down there? Would hiring a little help where you are at be better, with a few long weekends to visit your parents be an option? I know your kids are small, but uprooting them for such a short period of time and having to adjust their schedules and yours seems like a lot of work in this case.
I would do #1 and save money. $9000-$12000 is worth it IMO.
I would do #2. But if I did #1 to save money, I'd plan/budget a few get aways a month - even something local like a cute hotel with a pool for the 3 year old would HAVE to happen semi-frequently.
This seems like a lot of extra work for 6-8 months. Is there a reason beyond having your parents close by that you are moving to that area? I hate packing/unpacking/moving. You have a routine where you are at, right? Will your daughter spend her entire school year in the same school if you move down there? Would hiring a little help where you are at be better, with a few long weekends to visit your parents be an option? I know your kids are small, but uprooting them for such a short period of time and having to adjust their schedules and yours seems like a lot of work in this case.
These are all things I've thought about. The baby will only be a few weeks when H leaves and I have zero support here, and that's what I worry about most. If it was just D and I or if the baby was older I'd stay here, but I worry about those nights of teething, no sleep, etc with no one around that I can call and say "hey, come take the kids for a bit." I have some people that I hang out with, but its a more acquaintance type relationship. Having the support of my family is the main reason that I'm moving. We did have a babysitter here but she's moving to another base in the next month or so.
Also, D loves my family and I think it would be good for her to have them around while H is gone.
I dunno, it's still fresh and I am trying to make the best decision not only for my kids, but for myself.
I've done A - twice. Once with my mom and step-dad and once with my brother and his wife. While it sounds great in theory, and it technically wasn't *painful* I would, at this stage, absolutely prefer my own space and the ability to raise my kids without intervention...and while you only butt heads with your mom on occasion, and your sister *can* drive you nuts, the two together would be too much, even for such a short period of time. I'm another "absolutely the second choice" vote. Bring just what you need if you're moving yourself and store what you don't (or store it all in the garage and just unpack what you need.)
Post by pegasuskat on May 21, 2015 19:32:53 GMT -5
If I got along with them well like you say you do, I'd do #1. I wouldn't be able to get past the savings. I would plan alone time, even if you just go to a mall or park, take yourself somewhere for a few hours a day. I think for that short of time I just couldn't justify not saving that much money.
While saving the extra money and not moving all the stuff would be really, really tempting, I'd go with option 2 because I need to have my own space (introvert here too), and I think having your own house would help keep things "normal" as opposed to an extended stay with grandma and grandpa.
This. Saving the money is really nice but not enough if I lose my sanity in the meantime. It is tempting but I really think you will be so much happier in your own space, have more room, and do what you want with the same convenience to family. As I get older I realize my happiness and sanity trump pretty much everything else.
How far is the distance from your current home to parents? Are they close enough that you could stay with them on the weekends or even for a couple of weeks after the baby is born/newborn then return home?
While saving the extra money and not moving all the stuff would be really, really tempting, I'd go with option 2 because I need to have my own space (introvert here too), and I think having your own house would help keep things "normal" as opposed to an extended stay with grandma and grandpa.
This. Saving the money is really nice but not enough if I lose my sanity in the meantime. It is tempting but I really think you will be so much happier in your own space, have more room, and do what you want with the same convenience to family. As I get older I realize my happiness and sanity trump pretty much everything else.
Yesssss. There was a post just yesterday about stuff you no longer put up with as an adult and this kind of thing fits right in. Moving back in with my entire family for several months to save money is definitely something I no longer want to do as an adult.
This. Saving the money is really nice but not enough if I lose my sanity in the meantime. It is tempting but I really think you will be so much happier in your own space, have more room, and do what you want with the same convenience to family. As I get older I realize my happiness and sanity trump pretty much everything else.
Yesssss. On ML yesterday there was a post about stuff you no longer put up with as an adult and this kind of thing fits right in. Moving back in with my entire family for several months to save money is definitely something I no longer want to do as an adult.
I hated, hated, hated living in our townhouse as I got older and admittedly crotchety with age as I was tired of seeing every neighbor, their kids every day. that I realized I reallllly enjoyed my privacy despite the fact I am an extrovert. It really weighed heavily on me to the point I didn't give a shit where I went as long as I got out. We have a bit more mortgage in this ( single family) house and am I so fucking happy. The money saved staying in the townhouse paled in comparison to my sanity.