WWYD - moving / MM related

[dellabear]

About 8 years ago we moved across the country for a new job opportunity for me.  It was a big promotion and raise.  Shortly after, DH got a similar promotion and raise in our new city.  We always imagined that living here was temporary but here we are 8 years later.  The reality is that there is not a lot of opportunity for people in our lines of work in our former city.

We don't hate where we live but it is across the country from our family and many dear friends.  We don't hate or love our jobs but they are comfortable and secure and we are well compensated.  We have a nice home in a nice area.  But it feels temporary and always has.  Also, the climate here sucks.

Now, it looks like I might have the opportunity to get a small promotion and relocation to a city about 4 hours' drive from our original city.  This city offers much better job prospects for both of us.  DH would likely get a similar position and salary.  It also offers a medium cost of living (vs higher COL where we are now and VHCOL in our original city).  We have visited this city and its seems okay, not really a place we ever considered moving to but that's how we felt about our current city before we moved here.  We don't know anyone there.

In an ideal world I would get a job offer with relocation package, back to the original city.  I think there is a small chance of this happening one day but it's not very likely.  More likely would be I negotiate a transfer, we would have to pay our own move which would be very expensive due to the distance, and then DH would have to settle for a lower paying position.  And the COL is higher.  We could afford it but our lifestyle wouldn't be as nice as it is now.  We would also have very little opportunity for advancement which is why we left before.

Would you stay put, move to the new city, move to the old city?

[mbcdefg]

I think I'd try out the new city. It doesn't sound like you're happy in your current location.

If you don't like it in the new city, you can always move back to the original location or you can try an entirely new option. 

[dexteroni]

I would move to the new city if you get this promotion. It has opportunities and is within easy visiting distance from your hometown.

Then down the road, if you find you *really* want to go back to your hometown, the higher salaries and lower COL of the new city will be helpful in preparing for the financial adjustment.

[raangoli]

I'd move to the new city. It gets you closer to your original city, but helps you with your careers.

[Deleted]

New city is what I would pick.

[mswax]

I'd work to make "roots" in your current city. It sounds like you haven't tried very hard b/c it's always seemed temporary to you. If a hard look at reality shows that this is place is better for you for a lot of different reasons, then I'd try to give it a real chance before calling it quits.

[sarapocalypse]

I would pick new city. Sounds like there are some great opportunities and a 4-hour drive from family is do-able. Small promotion and lower COL all sound very appealing as well.

[dellabear]

May 21, 2015 15:00:23 GMT -5 mswax said:

I'd work to make "roots" in your current city. It sounds like you haven't tried very hard b/c it's always seemed temporary to you. If a hard look at reality shows that this is place is better for you for a lot of different reasons, then I'd try to give it a real chance before calling it quits.

We do have some roots here now - but it took a long time to do it and  really it has only been the past couple of years that we have felt more comfortable/settled in here.  TBH that is a big part of our hesitation to move to a completely new city again - it just took so long to make friends and have a decent social life and feel like we fit in to our current city.

We would be fine in our current city for the long term, although there is virtually no chance for moving any farther up the career ladder here, we are content with where we are in our careers.  We like our home and neighbourhood and have friends and a social life.

What we dislike mainly, is the distance to our home town and the climate.  The climate here is much cooler and drier than we would like.  The winter is soooooo long.  We are not winter people. The climate in the other cities is much more reasonable.

I know the right financial decision is either to stay put or go to the new city.  It's not what our hearts want but I keep telling myself that the old city has cons too, we just remember the good parts more.

[aurora]

It sounds like location is really important to you. Could you sacrifice some financial items (nicer house, cars vacations, etc.) to move back to original city?

Otherwise from your OP I was ready to jump on the new city bandwagon, but your follow-up sounds like you'd basically be doing it for financial reasons and not because you really want to.

[dellabear]

Yeah, aurora , that's pretty much it. Moving to the new city would be a good financial decision and has the added benefit of being closer to our home town. But it's still not *really* where we want to be. And it's hard to go off into the unknown when we are relatively comfortable here, even if it's not our #1 choice overall.