i smell some family drama brewing.

[saraandmichael]

so my bil is getting married in october. kids are not invited to the wedding. this upset my SIL a ton (the crazy one with 4 kids.

well, my husband's uncle is going to the wedding and his children are coming.

i am not sure if my bil will tell him that they are not invited (which will cause an issue) or if he will cower and let them come, in which case the crazy sil is going to be effing pissed.

i shouldn't be excited about watching this unfold, but i totally am.

[Jermys]

That sounds like a damn good time. I want updates.

[gretchenindisguise]

What are the ages of all the children in question?

[SKP82]

I really don't understand why people take children to weddings when they're not invited. It's clearly awkward for the couple to say something to the parents.

The only child invited to our wedding was my 5-year-old adopted brother. SIL ended up bringing her baby (a 6 month old) anyway without telling us. I was kinda pissed at first, but in the end, it didn't matter at all.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Ohhhhhh! Can't wait to hear it! Is this the antivax SIL?

[saraandmichael]

the uncle's children are 21ish?, 14 and 12? (maybe 11).

the crazy SILs kids are 8, 7, 4 and 1.

[saraandmichael]

Aug 14, 2012 22:30:53 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Ohhhhhh! Can't wait to hear it! Is this the antivax SIL?

antivax, antigay, antilogic...yep!

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Is the wedding up my way? And us there any way to make sure that she could find out about it AT the wedding. I have binoculars, I won't impose!

[gretchenindisguise]

Aug 14, 2012 22:31:07 GMT -5 saraandmichael said:

the uncle's children are 21ish?, 14 and 12? (maybe 11).

the crazy SILs kids are 8, 7, 4 and 1.

Yeah that's way different. They're not children, they're adults and teens.

Sent from my DROIDX using proboards

[saraandmichael]

Aug 14, 2012 22:34:40 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

Aug 14, 2012 22:31:07 GMT -5 saraandmichael said:

the uncle's children are 21ish?, 14 and 12? (maybe 11).

the crazy SILs kids are 8, 7, 4 and 1.

Yeah that's way different. They're not children, they're adults and teens.

Sent from my DROIDX using proboards

true. but noah will be 14 at the time and he is not invited, so i assumed it was the same for them as well.

[SKP82]

Aug 14, 2012 22:36:05 GMT -5 saraandmichael said:

Aug 14, 2012 22:34:40 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

Yeah that's way different. They're not children, they're adults and teens.

Sent from my DROIDX using proboards

true. but noah will be 14 at the time and he is not invited, so i assumed it was the same for them as well.

Maybe they're only including certain people's children over a certain age?

[Deleted]

I don't understand when people get upset about kids not being invited.

[saraandmichael]

Aug 14, 2012 22:40:17 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

I don't understand when people get upset about kids not being invited.

me either!

but, i kinda like having a life outside of being a mom.

and i also like getting drunk at weddings.

and in general.

[Deleted]

Aug 14, 2012 22:38:30 GMT -5 SKP82 said:

Aug 14, 2012 22:36:05 GMT -5 saraandmichael said:

true. but noah will be 14 at the time and he is not invited, so i assumed it was the same for them as well.

Maybe they're only including certain people's children over a certain age?

We had a small wedding, so everyone involved was close family. We hired a babysitter and told people that if they brought kids under 10 the kids were going to be inside with the babysitter during the ceremony. If they had an issue with that, they needed to arrange something else for themselves.

My SIL tried to challenge this ruling the night before the wedding, and I told her to fuck herself. It led to an incredible amount of drama, but it was worth it to not have screaming kids during our vows.

[sonrisa]

Aug 14, 2012 22:40:17 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

I don't understand when people get upset about kids not being invited.

I only see the issue if either (a) it is a nursing infant and a parent is close family, in the bridal party, or otherwise expected to attend; or (b) the wedding guests need to fly in from afar. Not everyone can travel without their kids.

[Deleted]

Then...don't go.

Is that really so bad?

[SKP82]

Aug 14, 2012 22:51:09 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Aug 14, 2012 22:40:17 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

I don't understand when people get upset about kids not being invited.

I only see the issue if either (a) it is a nursing infant and a parent is close family, in the bridal party, or otherwise expected to attend; or (b) the wedding guests need to fly in from afar. Not everyone can travel without their kids.

This was the situation at our wedding. Which is why I ultimately decided that it wasn't a big deal. But it would have been nice if SIL gave us a heads up beforehand, especially after she told us she would be looking for a sitter...

[sonrisa]

I agree with not going - which is why either a nursing or long distance bridal party person or close family member are the only ones where I can see the issue because you can't really "not go" in that case.

I think Pixie's solution of a babysitter in a side room is incredibly thoughtful.

[saraandmichael]

If we didn't have someone to watch our kids then I would stay home. My SIL wouldn't entertain the idea of her husband staying with their children so she threw a fit about it. It was funny to watch.

[ralphlauren]

I love drama when I am not involved. I hope they have an open bar so you can get drunk and watch it unfold.

[Deleted]

This is gonna be goooodddd!!! Video or pics with a play by play would be awesome!

I really don't mind kids at weddings. The thing I do mind is when the parents get trashed and don't watch them. I somehow always end up being the person that ends up watching other people's kids and can't get hammered myself.

[sonrisa]

$10 says SIL's kids are the reason kids aren't invited.

[eb777888]

Haha, this happened to us. We had to tell my SIL no kids since she RSVP'ed to bring them and she started crying. Crying! We caved.

[saraandmichael]

Aug 14, 2012 23:15:23 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

$10 says SIL's kids are the reason kids aren't invited.

you are good!

[sparkles17]

I just don't understand this. I guess maybe because I've never seen it around here, weddings are always kid-free events for the most part.

[cleo29]

We did not have kids at our reception, including our nephews. My sister was pissed, but in the end, my prediction came true and everything worked out for the best. We had a sitter set up, room service with kid friendly food and movies.

I don't understand the need to dictate this kind of stuff. Now with the uncle's kids, are you sure all of them are invited or just the 21 year old?

[Mrs.Beagle]

This is why we got married after kids went to bed. Cocktail hour at 7, Ceremony at 8.

But all the parents we invited were like "You crazy? I want to get drunk and party. No way I'm bringing my kids".

[saraandmichael]

Aug 15, 2012 7:48:37 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

We did not have kids at our reception, including our nephews. My sister was pissed, but in the end, my prediction came true and everything worked out for the best. We had a sitter set up, room service with kid friendly food and movies.

I don't understand the need to dictate this kind of stuff. Now with the uncle's kids, are you sure all of them are invited or just the 21 year old?

none of them are invited. the bride and groom want a small wedding and no children of any part of the family are invited.

however, i don't think this has been said outright and my bil and his fiancee are banking on people looking at who the invite is addressed to and following proper etiquitte.

this is where the drama comes in...someone is going to be upset.

[Mrs.Beagle]

I think BIL should clarify with SIL and uncle. Otherwise there's going to be a ton of "Well, I ASSUMED that ALL FAMILY would be invited!!!!"

[RBL]

Aug 14, 2012 23:12:32 GMT -5 ralphlauren said:

I love drama when I am not involved. I hope they have an open bar so you can get drunk and watch it unfold.

This.

At least you can enjoy the chaos.