My disaster of a race. A recap.

[al320]

First off, Buffalo is a lovely course. Im surprised its not more popular. Really pretty, fairly flat and gentle. Cool medal, which was given to me by a Buffalo Bill, lots of crowd support for a race of its size.

Second. Wtf is up with shitty fucking pacers?? If my goal pace is 8:47, why were we banging out 8:24s and 8:30s. Banking time is not good. Not good. I let them lose me after maybe 5 or 6 miles and i slowed down. I crossed the 13.1 marker at 1:55:13 or something, not bad pacing on my own for a 3:50 full. Even though my goal was really just to break 3:55 by as much as possible.

Then somewhere around mile 14, i mentally fell apart. Lifes been rough for al320 lately, and for some reason, i started to cry, couldnt breath and lost it. Ugly. And started to walk. I almost turned around and walked back to the half finish. I think that mile was like 11:28 or something. I dont even know. Some kid was giving out freezy ice pop things and i took one, ate it as i strolled through the park crying. Once i finished eating my green flavored icy thing, i decided to run. Which is hard when one is crying. But i tried. I decided id run, i didnt care how fast, and then at the next relay trnasition, id stop. Dnf. I didnt care.

So i ran slow, walked through the water stops, took a bunch of gatorade, some guy was giving out twizzlers. I ate 3 of those. At some point i decided i wanted the cool buffalo medal and that id finish. Plus, i didnt drive 6 fucking hours all the way to fucking buffalo to dnf. A shitty finish, sure, but not a dnf. That was around the time the 4 hour pacer passed me (note i started with the 350). I kept a pretty steady mid9s pace for a while. Walked when i had a small breakdown. At the end i just wanted to stop, so i tried to go faster, so i could be done faster. Mile 26 was the only mile in the second half of the race that was sub-9.

My time was like 4:04 or 4:03. I dnt even know or care.

I dont even hurt that much.

And with that, i might take a break frm running for a while.

[Wines Not Whines]

Hugs to you.

[venice2007]

So so proud you finished! Huge huge hugs!

[cinco]

I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug. I hope things look up for you soon. Congrats on your finish and shiny new medal!

[mfluder]

(hugs) al320

Truly, you should be proud of your finish.

[labbie]

Hugs to you on a tough race and congrats on sticking with it to the finish. That takes some amazing mental strength, and you showed that marathon who was boss today.

Sent from my XT1080 using proboards

[jinkies]

The fact that you kept going for 13 MILES after wanting to quit shows incredible strength. I know it wasn't the time you were hoping for, but take a few minutes to be proud of yourself for sticking it out.

[ktzmoh]

Hugs to you.

I hope whatever is going on in life smooths out and you find your groove again.

[bostonmichelle]

Hugs to you. I'm sorry it wasn't the race you wanted but you are amazing for pushing thru to the end. Congratulations on finishing! I hope you got yourself a good drink after. And I hope everything in your life works itself out soon.

[gt7301b]

I'm sorry that you didn't have the race you wanted, but way to persevere and finish.

[taratru]

Oh, A. *sigh* I feel you. I love your pragmatism. I love your determination. I think you're great, shitty race be damned. I hope you get back on track soon. *hugs*

[hannahb]

Oh big hugs. Shitty races happen. Sorry life isn't good right now. There's always the next race. I mean you're doing like 10 marathons this year or something crazy like that

[jene]

Hugs to you. Shitty races happen, and I hope you find you groove again.

[fuckyourcouch]

hugs. i'm so sorry it was rough for you, and i'm sorry for whatever life is throwing at you lately.
truly though, you should be really proud of that time and for sticking it out when you were miserable for half the race. you did fantastic.

[pinkpeony6210]

Shitty races happen to the best of us...but you finished! And that's hard to do when you're not in it to win it mentally. You're awesome! Congrats and enjoy lots and lots of wine

[CallingAllAngels]

Shitty runs suck, but having them on race day is the worst. I am sorry you had a bad day, but congrats on finishing.

[thom]

Way to tough it out and finish al320. Racing is so mental, and when you're not in a good spot it can be downright impossible to find your rhythm. There will be more races to kick butt in, but sometimes a break is good too.

Last spring I had a disappointing marathon finish where I fell apart at the end, and I had to remind myself again that the marathon is a fickle beast. Sometimes she's got her claws out, but that also makes the strong marathons that much sweeter.
Hugs; you know we love you.

ETA: Also -- that is still a very respectable marathon time. You are fast even on an off day!

[al320]

Thanks everyone, youre making me feel SO much better. You have no idea how much i appreciate all of you

[irene adler]

Oh man, I've had races like that and it's terrible. You should be proud that you stuck it out and finished, even if you are't ready to be proud of that right now. Big hugs to you.

[lb2006]

Hugs to you - it is still a great time to be proud of. I hope things get better for you!

[Deleted]

Huge hugs for you. I'm so sorry it wasn't a great race for you but am so impressed that you didn't DNF. You are amazing.

[runblondie26]

I'm sorry it wasn't your day al320. You have a busy race schedule this year, it can only go up from here.

[shell24]

Congratulations for finishing. I am sorry you are going through a rough time. Lots of hugs to see you through to the other side.

[sadlebred]

Sorry you didn't have a good race! It happens to all of us....but you finished it!!

[chw57]

Big hugs. So sorry it was a tough day but congratulations on your finish!

[juliabug]

You ran 13 miles after you "quit." That is a huge testament to your toughness. Sounds like you are ready for a break. I hope your troubles are resolved soon.

[melmel48]

I feel you did amazing. You may have fallen apart, but it is SO easy to give up and say fuck it. You had your moment, you pushed yourself through it and banged out a time that was not too far off from your goal. Pat yourself on the back and give yourself the credit you deserve. 

Congrats on finishing and not giving up!

[archaeominx]

I know it's not the outcome or time you wanted but to stick it out for 13 miles and still finish just a few minutes over 4 hours is badass. Be kind to yourself and I hope things get better!

[wanderlustmom]

Sorry it wasn't your best race but I only read it as you are super strong

[libbygrl109]

Still a remarkable race in my eyes.

Hugs to you.