Small homes and hosting playdates, parties, etc.

[thecatinthehat]

How many people have you hosted in your homes? 

Our living room/kitchen/dining area is roughly 200 sqft. Playdates are fine with 2-3 other moms and a few kids. We've done it before and it did not feel crowded. At some point we will have to host parties with 3 to maybe 5 other families. We take turns. I am anxious just thinking about it. It should be fine with just adults but these families have between 2-4 kids. Eeek! So at minumum we can have 6 adults and 6 kids up to 10 adults and 14 kids. I don't know how the max would even be possible! We don't even have enough seating at our dining table for 6! We got a small table on purpose so we don't fill up the space with furniture.

So how do you do it? Right now our living room has a couch and one smallish rocking chair because I haven't found an accent chair that I like. We don't have a coffee table on purpose. We don't have a playroom so about 60% of DS's toys/books are in the living room. I know I need more seating in the living room. Suggestions?

[vanillacourage]

Put people outside. Get kiddy pool. Wa-la. 

[thecatinthehat]

May 25, 2015 0:41:42 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Put people outside. Get kiddy pool. Wa-la. 

We are going to have to work on our backyard because it is kind of humiliating . And get more outdoor seating. This should be easy but will just take some time, and I think we have enough time before it is our turn to host. The only issue I have is it can get pretty cold by 5pm (upper 50's) and windy. Will a fire pit help out...but then I worry about little kids around. I was thinking to host lunch but a lot of the parents prefer to start sometime after naptime, so around 3ish and it starts to cool down around 4.  

[joenali]

Why so many moms?

[adhdfashion]

The more the merry. Get some floor pillows or bean bag chairs. Most importantly good food and lots of wine make a party. You are over thinking this.

[thecatinthehat]

May 25, 2015 0:51:01 GMT -5 joenali said:

Why so many moms?

10 adults are husband and wife, not all moms. This is the bigger group we have become new friends with. I have another with just 2 families. We are trying to get together more often. DH is really having a hard time making new friends (time/work/etc) and we finally found people we both like!

[trident0]

We've hosted 75 in a 1300 squarefoot house (So maybe 500sqft of living/kitchen/dining). I like to put a few different snack/drink stations and a few seating areas so that it feels like there are different areas to mingle between, even though they're all in the same room.

Granted, maybe 10 of those people were children, and they weren't mid-playdate. If they go crazy, throw them outside.

[Deleted]

My house is 1450 sf and we have done up to 75 people. Granted most of them were in our backyard but it works. I create spaces in the house for kids and adults so they can co mingle or separate. For instance my sons room is next to the living room so the kids spend most of their time in his room or the living room. I just set out all the toys and let the kids enjoy themselves. I only have a couch and recliner in my living room but we also have two bean bag chairs and some large throw pillows that we use. I have a patio heater and two outside tables in our yard so I can seat 8-10 outside and most of the adults tend to gravitate outside so the house is not to packed.

[livinitup]

In my old place, I would open a long folding table in my living room and borrow folding chairs. It was a tight squeeze but everyone got a seat. And with a pretty table cloth and good (easy) food, everyone loved it. I think there was something special about hosting in non-perfect space. People really felt like you WANTED them there and made the EFFORT. Which was true!

Do you have a nice front yard or driveway? Kids like any space, and people tend to "spill" into anything you have something set-up into. Borrow a patio table and umbrella, or anything to shade a little outdoor space. People just like being with you!

[Elsa]

Our downstairs is roughly 1200sqft. We have a smallish living room and the dining room is separated so people don't naturally flock to it.
Between the backyard, the kitchen, and the living room we do just fine. The last gtg we hosted within the neighborhood most people just stood and chatted the whole time. Even though there was seating available. Don't stress too much!

[ECB]

May 25, 2015 8:48:27 GMT -5 carrotsmakemefat said:

We are our own worst critics.

First of all, ^^^ this. You are going to overthink things that no one else is going to care about. So on that front, I'd absolutely try to utilize any outdoor space you have. Do it during the day when it's warmer.

Second, at the same time, if your house is really that small and it's going to cause more anxiety than it's worth to host - then talk to the other families about it. If you'd rather not have people at your house but you want to do your fair share, offer to supply snacks/drinks if someone else would open up their home for "your" turn. Or - whatever you feel would work/ be fair.

Because a part of this is that you shouldn't "have" to host if you really don't want to.  DH and I tend to host a few events throughout the year.  I specifically throw a couple "happy hour playdates" on nice Friday afternoons.  I'd LOVE for others to offer to take turns but something I've come to learn - not everyone likes to host.  Whether their house is small or dirty, or... they just don't like to do it.  That's o.k.  Luckily I live in a neighborhood where everyone brings food and drinks so reality is, I just have to contend on my house being a mess from the kids afterwards.  But I don't have to supply all the food and drinks.

It sometimes gets old always having my house "destroyed", but the fact that I don't have to do EVERYTHING really does help and make up for it.   

So you can also explore other options.  But if you really want to host- just remember that you're seeing your home in a way that no one else is going to see it. 

[macmars45]

I just moved into my townhouse 2 months ago and we had a large(ish) group over for the first time Saturday. People mostly stood and chatted the majority of the time. Eventually they sat on our couch (which seats 5) and at our table (which seats 4). There wasn't enough seating for all. It's ok. People could sit on the carpet. NBD. And for the record it was raining and cold so our uncovered porch was not an appealing place to hang out.

[aprilsails]

We use our backyard as much as possible, but it is really only a viable solution for 3 months of the year.

Our saving grace is a pile of folding chairs that we got at Walmart years ago. We generally have them stacked up in the garage or basement, but when guests come over we throw them all through the living room and dining room areas. They're small and you can fit more people in this way with a small expenditure.

We turn the dining room table sideways against the wall and use it as a buffet. It also opens up a lot of space into our living room.

As another poster mentioned, everyone just stands in the kitchen anyway. It's like the smallest part and is a total magnet. Even when we set up a complete drinks station in the dining room.

[Deleted]

Do you have a garage? I know a lot of people that will use their garage for hosting if there isn't space in the house.

Definitely get some folding chairs--those are handy indoors or out. You can always get some of those inexpensive plastic stacking chairs for outdoors too. And maybe set some blankets out on the lawn. People with little kids are used to sitting on the floor.

Agreed that plenty of food and drinks is key. The other thing that kind of kills a party for me is when it's way too hot in a house. But it doesn't sound like that's an issue in your area.

[starlily]

May 25, 2015 0:57:58 GMT -5 adhdfashion said:

The more the merry. Get some floor pillows or bean bag chairs. Most importantly good food and lots of wine make a party. You are over thinking this.

We have a lot of space, but not a lot of seating. It seems to work out for everyone though.

[stellas]

I draw people outside as much as possible. We always make food that can be eaten on a paper plate while sitting on the couch or floor etc.

[speckledfrog]

May 25, 2015 11:01:39 GMT -5 stellas said:

I draw people outside as much as possible. We always make food that can be eaten on a paper plate while sitting on the couch or floor etc.

This is key.  I don't have a small home, but often have get togethers where the amount of people exceeds the amount of chairs.  Having food that can be eaten without or with only minimal utensils is key.  That way the kids can sit and the adults can mill about.

[rex]

my parents have a house that is probably 3000sqft. everyone gathers in one room anyway!

my in laws have a 1000sqft house. they frequently have us all (5 adults, 3 young children) over and it's fine. their yard isn't perfect either but it's fine enough to play or hang outside. kids don't care.

I live in 800sqft and am anti-social so I almost never have anyone over and if I do it's one person at a time. I am too introverted to host parties or play dates. but if I wasn't, I would have people over and send them outside. we have a yard and it's nothing special but it's more space than my house!