Day care/back to work struggles

[coribelle26]

Today was my first day back to work, and I think I held my shit together throughout the day pretty well.  Today though, and on our half day/trial run day care day on Friday, I got super depressed after we got home.  What is wrong with me?  I feel like I should be so happy to have my baby home and I AM thrilled to see him, but I have this feeling that's really hard to articulate - almost like he feels less like mine or something.  Or like I miss him even when he's right there in front of me.  I hate it and I'm wondering if anyone else felt like this, and if/when that feeling went away.  With my commute it's a long day away from him, I dropped him off at 7:30 and didn't get back to him until 5:30 (and that was leaving early, on a normal day it's going to be closer to 6/6:30). 

He also hasn't pooped since Sunday morning which is stressing me the fuck out.  (Everything I'm reading says that's super normal for breastfed babies, but seriously he consistently poops at least 5 times a day so this sudden change is scary to me.)

Momming is hard.  Here is a picture for your troubles:

[pagas]

He is so cute!

It does get easier, but I know how hard it is. Take care of yourself.

[cville]

Yeah, it's super hard. At first I was jealous of the daycare teachers and felt like my kids became strangers, sorta. This was the phase where if anyone said my baby looked like my husband or suggested that they knew him/her and his/her habits or personality at all, I wanted to shank them and leave their body in a dank alley. My babies MINE MINE MINE.

Plus, I HATE CHANGE, so changing from my at home with the baby routine was difficult too, leaving aside all the sad baby stuff.

It DOES get easier. Really it does.

[liverandonions]

It gets better, and eventually this becomes your reality

Attachments:

[cinnamoncox0]

What a cutie!

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this
I've said something similar before, but I don't know that it gets "easier" it just becomes the new normal. You get into the routine and the time passes quickly and it's just what it is.
The beginning is of course the hardest by far. But you'll keep doing great and he will continue to thrive.
Good luck and try to hang in there.

[whiskeyandwine]

I just wanted to offer hugs, Cori.

[sparkythelawyer]

I too have had the sudden poop change. Is he otherwise fussy?

[coribelle26]

May 26, 2015 19:07:37 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

I too have had the sudden poop change. Is he otherwise fussy?

Would you believe he pooped literally 10 minutes after I posted this? He's just messing with me. To answer your question, though, he was no fussier than normal during the poop embargo. That's why I wasn't totally panicking.

Thank you guys, it helps to hear that you've felt similarly. It was just the weirdest feeling, everything was off when I got home. Nothing felt comfortable, not the baby, or my house, even H. He was going to go out and mow the lawn and I asked him to please wait until tomorrow because I wanted him to stay inside with us. I feel like a weirdo.

[honeychai]

It gets better.

There were so many emotions when I went back with both my kids. I was just a hot mess.

But it really gets better.

[erbear]

Hang in there. You'll feel better when it's more of a routine, I bet.

[Monica Geller]

((Cori))

James only poops like every 4 days, and then it's a blowout. Every.damn.time. Pedi says it's perfectly normal. He's completely happy, so I don't worry. I just hate changing the blowout.

[coribelle26]

The thought of early bedtime is killing me. At this point we still don't put him down for real until about midnight, when he gets his last bottle of the night. Before that if even if he's sleeping he's either being held by one of us or in his rock and play in the living room with us.

If this continues to really truly suck, we could financially swing me working part time (or not at all if we had to, but that's way less preferable). I can't do it yet though because I carry the baby's health insurance, and with his heart condition, putting him on H's current high deductible plan would ruin us. H is going to switch to a better coverage plan but it won't kick in until next March.

[jorja]

I'm sorry. I had a really really hard time going back, and I had already cut to part time. It does get easier...it becomes routine, at least.

Also, "poop embargo" is cracking me up.