A little too much excitement, a mama deer and my (fur)baby

[DotAndBuzz]

A mama deer literally almost went...Mama Deer on me and my dog tonight.   For real.  This story involves an actual deer.


Took Ellie out about 10 minutes ago to pee before bed.  She was chasing around something underground, showing no interest in peeing (whatever, she has a bladder of steel), and in the shadow I see a HUGE dark figure in the side garden, near a neighbor's hydrangea bush.  Shine my iphone light over there (because I generally open carry that - better to be prepared), and see a HUGE doe.  At least, I think it's doe.  It didn't have antlers.  But it was huge.  Easily at my eye level w/ it's head, maybe taller.

I know if Ellie sees it, it's over, because she will lose her mind and break right through the invisible fence at such a huge "threat."  I slowly walk over to Ellie, calling her, trying to shoo the deer away.  The deer, however, STARTS FUCKING WALKING TOWARDS ME.  Like, it gives no fucks at all that I'm approaching, waving my arms at it.  I scoop up Ellie, she sees it about 2 seconds later, and goes completely nuts in my arms.  Deer still gives no fucks, and keeps walking towards me.  Ears up, staring right at me like "Bitch, you think you're something?  You've got a little scrappy dog?  I'm a fucking deer." 

I back up the hill of my side yard, never turning my back on it, Ellie's going nuts, I'm waving my free arm w/ my phone light on, trying to fake it out, jerking at it trying to scare it off.  NOPE.  So I finally turn and run into the side porch door to the kitchen.

It's like 05heel and her geese.  Effing nature man. 

[gummybear]

Deer are jerks. I wonder if there was a fawn nearby? I once had a deer stomp at me and make this godawful chortling guttural noise at me. All I was doing was running by! Assholes.

[silva]

You could have taking in that doe !!

[DotAndBuzz]

oh, and Ellie never did pee. She's going to have to hold it till morning. Based on her stubbornness in training her to pee in our yard, I think she'll be fine.

[underwaterrhymes]

I wonder if she has a fawn there?

[DotAndBuzz]

maybe there was a fawn. Perhaps I should rescue it from it's overly aggressive mother. She seemed like a real bitch.

*off to find bread crumbs*

[elleblue]

Deer shed their antlers typically between January and April and it takes months before they grow in new ones, so it could have been a cranky as duck buck.


In any case, I'm glad the deer, female or male, did not pummel you like the one did to the guy in the gif in your op.

[sofamonkey]

Did you even think to call the Forest Rangers? That's what they are there for. You shouldn't try to handle these things yourself. I'm glad it went OK & nothing serious happened though.



But seriously. OMFG NO

[nursewife]

That would have scared me to death. I'd have to go Mama Bear on it's ass and brandish my concealed gun on it, telling it to stop touching my property.

[Nonny]

I think you'll need something bigger than a hamster cage.

[Deleted]

That deer totally thinks you were a UFO with your phone light and all. She was probably super curious.

[sparkythelawyer]

If only Mama Bear and Corporal Tex had been with you, you'd have a nice doe head hanging over your mantel and enough venison to last for weeks!

[papie]

May 27, 2015 22:17:17 GMT -5 DotAndBuzz said:

maybe there was a fawn. Perhaps I should rescue it from it's overly aggressive mother. She seemed like a real bitch.

*off to find bread crumbs*

I think it would be really happy in a hamster cage. 

[litebright]

I am giggling at open carrying your iPhone.

[Deleted]

I've seen deer while running before and all they've ever done is stand there and look at me with their (what else) bambi doe eyes, although occasionally I can tell they're thinking, "Damn, that chick is slow!"

[kcr1972]

[Deleted]

May 27, 2015 22:11:33 GMT -5 DotAndBuzz said:

For real.  This story involves an actual deer.

Thank you.  Thank you so much for this.

I really was very disappointed with the damn lack of bear in that stupid thread.