Is your child a terrible monster beast?

[monkeybabe]

In light of all the bragging stuff, I just wanted to share how terrible my child can be. Share yours!

This is my living room, covered in greek yogurt. Notice the dry clean only green comforter on the couch.



And here's the culprit. You can't see her yogurt covered legs, or the globs of it on the back of her head, but you get the picture.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Yes.

[monkeybabe]

May 29, 2015 13:13:43 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

Yes.

I can always count on you.

[Deleted]

Was that just one of those individual containers? They look so tiny but can make such a massive mess!

[monkeybabe]

May 29, 2015 13:17:21 GMT -5 @lindy said:

Was that just one of those individual containers? They look so tiny but can make such a massive mess!

Yup! That little container next to the orange bowl, on the coffee table.

[tennisgal]

I'm just coming in to say that we have that same couch!

[Dorothy Zbornak]

DH and i alternate nights taking the kids to bed. Tonight it's his turn, and Butters always freaks the fuck out.

"Crap crap crap! Meine Moooooommmmmyyyy!" He acts like he's being kidnapped.

His medium is more mental and acoustic mayhem rather than physical.

[honeybee503]

Making her brother be her living doll. (Note: he was cool with it)

[eav2c]

Yes. My brand new lipstick. =| Lucky for Oliver I wasn't sure I liked the color anyway.

I love Z's hair color. So beautiful and I refuse to believe she is even slightly a monster.

[honeybee503]

The little one has more monsterish tendencies.

[carawestt]

Yep. His most recent thing was to cover half of his bedroom carpet with lotion. At least his room smells good.

[dixeedeluxe]

May 29, 2015 13:20:01 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

DH and i alternate nights taking the kids to bed. Tonight it's his turn, and Butters always freaks the fuck out.

"Crap crap crap! Meine Moooooommmmmyyyy!" He acts like he's being kidnapped.

His medium is more mental and acoustic mayhem rather than physical.

Oh yeah, Adeline totally does this!  So manipulative.  "Mommy, you're going to lay with me, RIIIIIIIGHT?  But MOMMY!  MOMMY I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

This is why I always take her to bed.  My heart just can't take it.  I try.  Boy do I try!  But I always end up in that bed. 

[dixeedeluxe]

Damnit dorothyzbornak, I didn't think she was a monster and now you schooled me! SHE IS A MONSTEROUS BEAST!

[Dorothy Zbornak]

May 29, 2015 13:26:56 GMT -5 carawestt said:

Yep. His most recent thing was to cover half of his bedroom carpet with lotion. At least his room smells good.

Butters screamed and cried in the car today because H used the word "lotion."

"HARPER SAID LOTION! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

[formerlyllizzyb]

"I want to hit mommy."
"I understand you feel that way, but you cannot hit me."

(Slugs me.)
(Carried screaming to room for time out.)
"Sorry mommy! Sorry!"
(Two minute time out ends.)
Five minutes later...
"I want to hit Tobey (the dog)."

Wash, rinse, repeat.

[carawestt]

May 29, 2015 13:35:01 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

May 29, 2015 13:26:56 GMT -5 carawestt said:

Yep. His most recent thing was to cover half of his bedroom carpet with lotion. At least his room smells good.

Butters screamed and cried in the car today because H used the word "lotion."

"HARPER SAID LOTION! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

Is he against lotion? Haha

[imimahoney]

Yes. Such a beast.

Last night he was in a hitting phase and basically attacked my Dh because his water bottle was taken away for dumping it all over the floor. And he laughs when he hits so he seems like he enjoys hurting us

[Dorothy Zbornak]

May 29, 2015 13:36:08 GMT -5 carawestt said:

May 29, 2015 13:35:01 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

Butters screamed and cried in the car today because H used the word "lotion."

"HARPER SAID LOTION! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

Is he against lotion? Haha

He is against everything. EVERYTHING.

He cries so much more now than when he was a baby.

[jenbelle]

I'm thinking I was lucky to live in a 1 bedroom condo till now. I always knew where he was and what he was up to. Now things like this may happen.
Any reason she chucked it everywhere?

[rxbeth]

Nope, not at all. She's a perfect angel. You all must be bad parents. Dorothy Zbornak
#imlying #shesthreeanditmightkillme

[carawestt]

May 29, 2015 13:38:07 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

May 29, 2015 13:36:08 GMT -5 carawestt said:

Is he against lotion? Haha

He is against everything. EVERYTHING.

He cries so much more now than when he was a baby.

Sounds familiar, they're so emotional at this age. Everything here is the end of the world.

[melmon0417]

First... monkeybabe Z is so beautiful, even when she is being a beast! That face, the hair, I die!


Second... YES. I tell A that she is a beast ALL THE TIME. She is a fucking sourpatch kid. Yesterday, she threw a bottle of gatorade at DH, and two minutes later she is asking me for "noooose kisses!" (eskimo kisses) She is also a little tornado.

[rxbeth]

They are bipolar little devils at this age. It's fantastic!

[The Foozzler]

90% monster beast
10% adorable

But damn these kids know how to turn on the charm just at the point where we are just about to cry and give up. He will hit, kick, and scream. Then he will give me the best hug ever and tell me that I am the greatest and that he loves me so so much. Stinker.

[shevacc]

May 29, 2015 13:55:37 GMT -5 The Foozzler said:

90% monster beast
10% adorable

But damn these kids know how to turn on the charm just at the point where we are just about to cry and give up. He will hit, kick, and scream. Then he will give me the best hug ever and tell me that I am the greatest and that he loves me so so much. Stinker.

This pretty much sums it up. Stinkers, the lot of 'em!

[kdrake8]

They both are terrible monster beasts.

#bragging
#youwantmylife

[Deleted]

Omg. He's terrible right now. This not listening thing is going to be the absolute death of me.

He will.not.stop. Tormenting this poor dog. She tries to hide from him everywhere. I've tried time outs, locking the dog in the kitchen, everything. He finds a way to get at her and bug the shit out of her.

This is him trying to barrel through the chairs I've used to hide her. And he's screaming at me because he can't reach her. I don't know what else to do.

Attachments:

[katfco]

Bedtime. 'nough said.

Except of course, the part where Caleb and Abby chase each other in a circuit around the house on a regular basis. Sometimes screaming is involved, and sometimes the screaming starts after Caleb either hits his sister (her screaming. Suck it up, girl! He's 3 and you're 8) or bounces off a wall (his screaming).

[kdrake8]

[jamaga2583]

Gavin bit me in a fit of rage yesterday because I said he couldn't eat some random kid on the playground's ice cream.

Max refused to get out of the car, and then sat down in the middle of the parking lot at a restaurant last week because "it was the wrong Taco Bell". It was a pizza place, ftr.
He also viciously attacked his 7 year old brother and slapped him with a glow stick a few days ago- according to the accuser, it was an unprovoked attack. M maintains "jack started it". Sigh.