S/O of the MSN article below

[heavenly]

This might not come out right with my wordings but I will try. After reading the post about the MSN article of men with certain history and possible current behaviors pattern...

My question would be is what type or behaviors of a man or a woman would be desirable to date or enter a relationship with? How would you know that person has a healthy perspective and not jaded?

[gozf]

I don't think this is the kind of thing you know. I think this is the kind of thing you guess from context clues and hope for the best.

That article bugged me. While it was interesting, and I could see truth in it, there's no formula.

[achase123]

Yah, you have to have the conversations/dates with them to determine this, IMO.

I would definitely steer clear of certain situations/types of people because I would already have an idea that they weren't ready or would be a good potential partner.

-There's a guy from my hometown who's recently gone through a divorce. She cheated on him and from what I can tell he's DEVASTATED. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He's a great father. He's hardworking and has a solid job. And he's absolutely BEAUTIFUL. But would I touch him with a ten foot pole right now? Heck no. He's still in the throes of one of the most heart wrenching things someone can endure and witnessing his soon-to-be-ex-wife literally rubbing her new relationship in his face. He needs time to get over this and I wouldn't want to be the person he rebounds with.

But in a few years if he is in a better place, that door would definitely be open!

-I also wouldn't knowingly date someone who had a reputation as a player or a history of cheating.

[heavenly]

Aug 15, 2012 12:09:56 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Yah, you have to have the conversations/dates with them to determine this, IMO.

I would definitely steer clear of certain situations/types of people because I would already have an idea that they weren't ready or would be a good potential partner.

-There's a guy from my hometown who's recently gone through a divorce. She cheated on him and from what I can tell he's DEVASTATED. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He's a great father. He's hardworking and has a solid job. And he's absolutely BEAUTIFUL. But would I touch him with a ten foot pole right now? Heck no. He's still in the throes of one of the most heart wrenching things someone can endure and witnessing his soon-to-be-ex-wife literally rubbing her new relationship in his face. He needs time to get over this and I wouldn't want to be the person he rebounds with.

But in a few years if he is in a better place, that door would definitely be open!

-I also wouldn't knowingly date someone who had a reputation as a player or a history of cheating.

True... this is also making me think on how I can better myself to be in a good position to date again considering I still feel the pains from my divorce. But I think that is something that will never go away as well and would just always be a fraction of my past and we all know our past is what makes us who we are now. This article was making me think, what would make me a good catch and be someone a "healthy" (I can't think of a better team than this) to have a healthy relationship with me.

[cemacmil]

Aug 15, 2012 12:09:56 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Yah, you have to have the conversations/dates with them to determine this, IMO.

I would definitely steer clear of certain situations/types of people because I would already have an idea that they weren't ready or would be a good potential partner.

-There's a guy from my hometown who's recently gone through a divorce. She cheated on him and from what I can tell he's DEVASTATED. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He's a great father. He's hardworking and has a solid job. And he's absolutely BEAUTIFUL. But would I touch him with a ten foot pole right now? Heck no. He's still in the throes of one of the most heart wrenching things someone can endure and witnessing his soon-to-be-ex-wife literally rubbing her new relationship in his face. He needs time to get over this and I wouldn't want to be the person he rebounds with.

I agree with this. I have a friend whose brother is just finishing up the divorce process, I trust her, he loves his kids and I trust her judgement on that - but I remind myself (not that she has opened that door) that 1) way too soon for him most likely and 2) it might be too weird for the friend. Glad I recognized that though.

Also, today - there is this guy at work who dates this other nurse; he said something today, not so much what he said but the way he said it, that put off a "I think you have anger issues" vibe in me. Though it surprised me, I would pay attention to those types of things, especially if they caught me off guard and I wasn't just looking for something wrong.