Fuck today. (Now with explanation blah)

[Deleted]

I'm having a horrible day, and I'm emotional, so I keep sneaking off to my room to cry. I just hate this day, and I feel like so many days are like this lately. I need things to start looking up.

[pittsmcgee]

I hate those days. I hope it gets better soon for you

[bbaggins]

I hate those days and can relate to how you're feeling. Hope you can cry it out and have a better rest of the day!

[Deleted]

I'm sorry

[Marle]

Oh what's wrong? Anything I can help with? How about getting together sometime?

[kellbell191]

I'm sorry : (

[Deleted]

Thanks. Mia has Type 1 diabetes and wears an insulin pump. For whatever reason the infusion site broke at some point between last night and this AM. As a result her blood sugar soared (readings over 500 on the meter read HI, and she has been HI all AM). I had to give her an insulin injection and switch out the infusion site (another needle) and this sent her into hysterics (along with the 500+ blood sugar).

She was screaming and crying that she doesn't want a pump anymore, her friends don't have one, Kai doesn't have one, she hates it, she hates pricking her finger all day, on and on. So I just let her get it all out, because who can blame her for being angry. She goes through more shit in a day than just about every adult I know. And she only freaks out on days like today, when it's just too much. Anyway she was so hysterical she bit her tongue and was bleeding all over her pillow. And I am just holding her clueless because I don't have diabetes, and can only imagine her struggles. And this KILLS ME.

And all of this happened before our appointment to meet her kindergarten teacher, so we had to push back. And I also miscalculated our finances this week and we have way less money than I thought we did until payday. Sorry for being pissy.

[Marle]

Oh gosh! Vino that's just so hard! I can't imagine!

I think you are very strong most days. There's no reason you should feel bad for feeling so crappy.

Crap!

[julez]

I'm so sorry. Poor, sweet Mia.

FUCK TODAY.

Hope that things start looking up very soon.

[sprky79]

Dude, that is nothign to be sorry about. Type 1 diabetes is the suck. All of that is such a mess and to have to deal with that as a little girl must just be so overwhelming at times. She has a rougher road to walk down than other little girls her age, and it sucks.

And the pump thing is a PITA too. The fiance has one. He's wanted to throw it across the room in a hissy fit more than once, and he's not a kid, so she's not alone :-)

[speckledfrog]

Big hugs to Mia. Big hugs to you.

Do you read any blogs written by other moms who have kiddos with diabetes? If not, I know there is a big support network online for families dealing with D.

[papie]

aw, this sucks so much. Poor little girl!

(((hugs)))

[Deleted]

Also I am in PIECES that her new school nurse's son had type 1 diabetes, but passed away last July. He was 21 and had T1 10 years. He had a low blood sugar in his sleep, that he never woke from. And I keep getting choked up over this, she was so involved in this care.

[Marle]

Aug 15, 2012 13:41:57 GMT -5 vino said:

Also I am in PIECES that her new school nurse's son had type 1 diabetes, but passed away last July. He was 21 and had T1 10 years. He had a low blood sugar in his sleep, that he never woke from. And I keep getting choked up over this, she was so involved in this care.

ugh! I'm sorry. That is so sad!

(hugs)

[WOT?*]

I'm so sorry Vino. I was just diagnosed with type II last week and my first reaction was "shit, needles and glucose meters and pills and meds." I can't imagine being your daughter and having to grow up with the monitoring and the finger sticks and everything else, and even worse as her mother having to navigate the treatment and issues and having her growing up normal when she sees others don't have to deal with the medical issues she does. Poor baby and poor mommy. Today was rough and you deserve the vent.

Ugh, and I just read that about the school nurse's son. How awful for her and for you.

[Deleted]

Have you seen these? ryleespocket.com/#

I know it doesn't help with the having the pump but maybe it will make the difference less noticeable?

[greylady]

Aug 15, 2012 13:41:57 GMT -5 vino said:

Also I am in PIECES that her new school nurse's son had type 1 diabetes, but passed away last July. He was 21 and had T1 10 years. He had a low blood sugar in his sleep, that he never woke from. And I keep getting choked up over this, she was so involved in this care.

My coworker's son has type I diabetes. In 2003ish he finished his quest to summit the world's seven highest peaks (a challenge he set for himself but later received pharma sponsorship). There are happy endings too. Don't focus on the sad what ifs. Think of how mostly normal her life can be.

Also, you are an awesome mom. Be kind to yourself.

[Deleted]

Aug 15, 2012 13:39:31 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Big hugs to Mia. Big hugs to you.

Do you read any blogs written by other moms who have kiddos with diabetes? If not, I know there is a big support network online for families dealing with D.

There is a parents of children with T1 forum I frequent. It's great to have a little community but on the flip side I see a lot of sad in there, so I have to take breaks when I can't cope.

[Deleted]

Aug 15, 2012 14:24:11 GMT -5 @randomcdn said:

Have you seen these? ryleespocket.com/#

I know it doesn't help with the having the pump but maybe it will make the difference less noticeable?

Thanks - I get her little pump packs from the Too Sweet Boutique, so many cute designs. I let her pick them out, but at $40 a pop they aren't cheap!

[Deleted]

Thank you to everyone, and to grey lady with the positive story. Mia met a group of T1 athletes at the last conference, they were all either cyclists or marathoners. That made my day.

[ralphlauren]

I am sorry that you are having a bad day

[Deleted]

i'm so sorry. i know it must be so hard to watch your sweet girl struggle when you can't fix the ultimate problem.

[murdock]

You sound like an amazing mom, too. Letting her release her anger and all.