Here I complain about my ILs for a sec

[jaylea]

Please don't quote.

But seriously. They are retired. Bored senseless, supposedly. They do nothing - no travelling, have no pets, no friends, no hobbies. They sit in their house all day every day.

I recently said no to them caring for DD every day after school because I just... don't think they have a sense of what that really entails. They were not pleased.

Anyway, they complain about not seeing the kids enough. But they don't ever ask to see them, or come see them. They won't ever babysit. They won't help when we are stuck (like yesterday, when DD was home sick, but no longer sick (24 hour fever rule)).

It is just MADDENING. Daycare just called because Lib is crying and complaining of a headache. ILs live, no joke, a mile from daycare. I am on day 3 of a new job, H was out of work yesterday. Think they'd help out for 2 hours? Nope. Awesome.

/vent over.

[Deleted]

Wait, you asked them to help and they said no? WTF!

[Deleted]

Your ILs suck

[jaylea]

I should add that daycare is willing to give some tylenol, some water, and have her rest to see if that helps. If not, they will let us know and one of us will get her. I can leave in about 40 mins or so, so hopefully she is okay until then.

[manzer1979]

I'm sorry, that sucks

[jaylea]

Aug 15, 2012 14:20:37 GMT -5 @booby said:

i don't understand. why would they ask to care for DD every day after school -- when they won't help out otherwise? that's really bizarre (which i gather, is why you are venting).

Exactly my point. Also - they want her overnight on Saturday, when she's feeling better, and they can just hang with her. But not in any way they could help, if it takes a modicum of effort. Ever.

If I can't make it over there, my mom will leave work early and get her.

[eightangryreindeer]

I'd be ripping your husband a new asshole right now.

[jaylea]

Aug 15, 2012 14:21:26 GMT -5 frkls said:

holy petty, bitter old people! you think they are saying no because you won't let them be your childcare on the daily?

No, this is nothing new. This is typical. Which is why I put my foot down on letting them provide care every day. I don't think we can rely on them.

[Deleted]

Wow, they sound lazy and petty as shit.

[cleo29]

Aug 15, 2012 14:22:12 GMT -5 jaylea said:

Aug 15, 2012 14:20:37 GMT -5 @booby said:

i don't understand. why would they ask to care for DD every day after school -- when they won't help out otherwise? that's really bizarre (which i gather, is why you are venting).

Exactly my point. Also - they want her overnight on Saturday, when she's feeling better, and they can just hang with her. But not in any way they could help, if it takes a modicum of effort. Ever.

If I can't make it over there, my mom will leave work early and get her.

So basically, it is either on their terms or nothing at all. Man, that sucks.

[greylady]

We have the same inlaws. I'm sorry; I know how much it sucks.

[jaylea]

It's just maddening. Once I am more established here, it won't be a problem to take care of my kids when they are sick. But leading up to the retirement, all I heard was how much help they will be. All I've heard for the past couple of weeks is how MIL is all healed and can do what she wants now (you may remember the broken leg).

But, yeah. No help.

My mom has offered to leave work and get Lib.

[Kit]

That is really shitty of them.

[eddy]

I can totally relate. My ILs just sit around all day. But act so stressed put upon when we ask for help. They have told us a million times that they can not watch two kids like they used to watch Jack. I don't even get that. They maybe had Jack for an overnight once every two months. But they felt the need to tell us before Leo was even born that they couldn't help any longer and give us a break. No health issues. They don't work. They don't volunteer or have a busy social calendar. They truly sit in their house all day. In reality they are the ones missing out. They are missing out on Jack and they will miss out on Leo. Their loss. I hope they enjoy sitting around feeling put upon as their only grandchildren grow up. And I am convinced the more they sit around the more miserable they make themselves.

I could go on and on and on about how annoying it is. I totally get it. My parents could have five trillion things going on and would still drop everything to help. And Jack very obviously prefers them. He is old enough to be perceptive about these things now.

For you and for us it is the ILs loss.

[ECB]

(Ooops. Took my quote out. Sorry!)

Yea, I don't blame you. We've had similar (but not quite as extreme) issues and I feel your pain - I really do.

[Deleted]

This sucks, I'm really sorry.

[jaylea]

eddy, you just described the exact situation - my parents are like yours. And my ILs said the same things leading up to having M.

Then they get bent out of shape when my parents have the kids - but they don't WANT them. They just want us to dote on them. ugh.

[Deleted]

ugh. they're petty children.

[cleo29]

My favorite comment from my MIL this past weekend in response to H telling her that she needs to interact with C was, "Well, we've walked around the yard a little and she didn't want to read any books." Ummm, yeah, she's nearly 3. She wants to DO things not READ about them.



And yes, she does like books too, but most of the time she would rather play.

[jaylea]

OMG, cleo. I can't stand your MIL either. Did she harp on BFing again? I'll kick her.

[margarita]

They suck. I'm sorry.

And I have no idea why, but I fully read the start of your OP as, "But seriously. They are retarded." So, obviously I knew where this was going.

[Muddled]

Your ILs suck, Jaylea. They really do.

[Deleted]

Aug 15, 2012 14:22:34 GMT -5 eightangryreindeer said:

I'd be ripping your husband a new asshole right now.

YES! It's unfathomable to me that he supports these douchecanoes taking her on a regular basis in the face of this asshattery.

[textbookcase]

Ugh, I'm sorry. That's lame.

[SKP82]

Aug 15, 2012 15:15:28 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

my mil used to do this; bitch constantly about never seeing the kids, but damn. Ask her to pick one of them up in an emergency and it was 'I'm a fun grandma, not a working grandma' or (my favorite) 'we've already got plans to go across town and buy milk'.

I empathize completely.

I loled at this.

Sorry your ILs suck.