Touchy subject - Campus Rape

[jdnotbyrider]

I would say that when it comes to cases of campus rape, at the very least, a majority of claims need to be taken seriously. Of course, there's going to be people that lie about it just to get this one person they don't like in trouble because they know they can get people on their side, but at the same time, quite a handful of men will do anything for sex, even with people they've never met before, some of them creep on them and are just one soundtrack and costume away from going flat out Scream on them and calling them up and asking them what their favorite scary movie is.  Some of them fucking kill women for a simple no to a date or a relationship.

And when it comes to college, especially if the person is in athletics, when something like that comes up, a lot of people go in lockdown defense mode, because their services in the upcoming big game are more important then seeing if they committed a sick act. 

It doesn't happen every day, but when it does, while some do get properly punished, a lot of them, like the student who was accused of sexually assaulting the Columbia University Mattress Girl, hasn't had one punishment given to him or stepped one foot into a court. That isn't right.

To make a long story short, do some lie about it? Probably. Doesn't excuse the fact that it's still a big problem that colleges are still not treating properly when it does happen though. 

[downtoearth]

I don't know about false accusations, I understand they happen, but how often?

I sort of understand the 1 in 5 women have been sexually assaulted. So yes, the questions can vary and the definition of sexual assault is on a scale from subjective to definitive, but maybe it should read that 1 in 5 women felt they have been sexually assaulted. If you, as a woman, feel that you didn't have power in the situation and were taken advantage of, that is still shocking, right?

Plus, that 1 in 5 women comes from a DOJ study from 2007 (this link has lots of additional links to surveys) and the study also found that 1 in 16 men are sexually assault on campus. So yes, your son could be falsy accused, but more likely all of our sons (yes, I have 3 of my own) are more likely to not understand that even fondling a girl when she is not aware is sexual assault or be victims themselves.

[jdnotbyrider]

Jun 5, 2015 10:57:38 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Jun 5, 2015 10:28:18 GMT -5 downtoearth said:

I don't know about false accusations, I understand they happen, but how often?

I sort of understand the 1 in 5 women have been sexually assaulted. So yes, the questions can vary and the definition of sexual assault is on a scale from subjective to definitive, but maybe it should read that 1 in 5 women felt they have been sexually assaulted. If you, as a woman, feel that you didn't have power in the situation and were taken advantage of, that is still shocking, right?

Plus, that 1 in 5 women comes from a DOJ study from 2007 (this link has lots of additional links to surveys) and the study also found that 1 in 16 men are sexually assault on campus. So yes, your son could be falsy accused, but more likely all of our sons (yes, I have 3 of my own) are more likely to not understand that even fondling a girl when she is not aware is sexual assault or be victims themselves.

That's another thing.  Do we really think a man claiming a woman assaulted him would get the same benefit of the doubt?  I'd imagine that is actually even more under-reported (not in absolute numbers, but percentage of times it happens vs. percentage of times it's reported).

Probably not.

I'll step away from the Columbia issue, but I will say that I think it's pretty logical that no matter the gender, a majority of accusations need to be looked into and taken seriously.

[downtoearth]

Jun 5, 2015 10:54:50 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Jun 5, 2015 10:23:46 GMT -5 jdnotbyrider said:

 

I get that these cases are maybe 1 in 100, but I'm just not comfortable saying we have to 100% believe any accusation and act as if it's been proven from the moment the accusation is made.  I worry that teenagers (boys and girls) are getting more fucked up over time and this could be used as a weapon by a very few girls trying to get back at guys.  I don't think that's really happening yet... but I don't think it's ludicrous to think that things could go in that direction.

Or is this just a "you're going to have to break some eggs to make omelettes" situation since we should err on the side of caution?

I have to say that not having enough evidence to prosecute is NOT the same as someone not having sexually assaulted someone else, but there isn't evidence. She realized month(s) after the fact that she felt sexually assaulted and therefore there is no evidence in support or against that claim. Plus he can't go to court b/c bias in a personal memory and advocacy against sexual assault is not a crime against him. He has also had some voice in response to her articles and if you type in "Columbia mattress girl..." and you can see it out fill "texts, false, and lied" as the top three things (good or bad).

I just read this account b/c I've been avoiding this case since I didn't like the idea that an advocate like the Columbia Mattress Girl might have been mistaken in her memory. And, well, she didn't lie and he didn't lie - it's a gray area. She says she realized it was "violent anal sex" after the fact and he says "brief, mutual anal sex followed by vaginal sex" and sleeping over. It's a sticky situation, but I just don't think you can assume lies by victims are common.  It's best to assume that it's uncommon and prepare you boy(s) to be respectful, not have sex when drunk/under drugs, and know they need to communicate.

[sushi]

ALL need to be taken seriously. Liars will be found out which is how there are examples like duke.

[Velvetshady]

Jun 5, 2015 10:13:53 GMT -5 @soudesafinado said:

Jun 5, 2015 10:09:59 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

I've got two articles I want to discuss.  The first has a lot of pictures and various embedded videos, so I think you've got to check out the link.  I've pasted the second here.

I'm really conflicted on this issue.  I believe that women are often scared to speak up because they will be slut shamed, blamed, etc.  I also believe that this leads to under reporting and that is not OK.  We need to take women's allegations seriously and find a way to protect them as well.

BUT... some women lie.  It may be a small percentage, but what good does that do to the man whose life was ruined?  Can you think of another crime where the accusation alone is so damaging?  College campuses can kick them out before any fact finding has occurred, much less guilt has been determined.  There is no due process.  

Child molestation

Domestic abuse for an ex-NFL player? www.wusa9.com/story/news/2015/01/05/fred-smoot-former-redskin-faces-domestic-assault-charge-court-appearance-va/21277069/

I know some will dispute that say "Not Guilty" doesn't equal innocent, but I will say I have some inside information on this specific case (that I can't reveal--of course, so grain of salt and all...) and I do honestly believe his side (which is *NOT* my normal inclination in these types of cases). I totally believe she decided to take revenge out on him for ending their relationship and used the current climate within the NFL/media to ruin his life. And it worked even though he was found not guilty.




That said, I agree that ALL rape/assault/abuse claims need to be taken seriously and fully investigated.

[alexis]

I don't think many women would intentionally lie about this simply to ruin someone's life. The bigger concern is the common cases where both parties are very inebriated, there is little physical evidence and their stories don't match.

In the first article I doubt Willingham actually set out to ruin Winston's life out of spite. She probably feels the story she is telling is accurate. OTOH, Winston may very well feel like his story is accurate. Human memory is notoriously unreliable then add in drugs and alcohol and who knows what actually happened there?

Whose life do we ruin? The woman by not believing her, making her feel marginalized and making others feel like they can't let people know when they've been a victim? Or the man by ruining his career, his education, and his reputation?