Horrifying Fish Monsters Fall From The Sky

[summer]

*high-fives pixy0stix*


NY Mag



If Alaska is anything like HGTV makes it out to be, it's a beautiful, serene landscape full of glistening glaciers, towering spruce trees, and vast lakes. There's one fact HGTV left out, though: Sometimes horrifying monster fish fall from the sky.



KTUU reports that eel-like fish called Arctic lampreys have rained down from the sky on several occasions, landing on neighborhood lawns and freaking out anyone with eyes. The jawless, parasitic fish lives by attaching itself to another fish and feeding off its body. Worse yet, lampreys look like a human eyeball suspended inside a set of circular fangs.



The Alaska Department of Fish and Game speculates that the disgusting eel rain may be thanks to gulls fishing the lampreys out of the ocean, then dropping their carcasses onto lawns.



The only good news here is that lampreys die soon after spawning, so any glimpse you may catch of one of these horrific monsters will be blessedly brief.

[orangeblossom]

Nope, nope, nope.

[Glitter Tits]

Good gawd that's terrifying.

[justkly]

Wait....what? THIS IS WHERE I LIVE!! I swear I will
Flip my shit if a fish flies down from the sky. Not ok.

[sushi]

I love the ocean and all its freaky creatures. Even for land, almost nothing summer posts freaks me out.

I hate fucking lampreys. They are weird prehistoric motherfuckers. They're the leeches of the sea.

ETA most actually aren't parasitic. That's actually a small minority. That doesn't mean they don't look nasty!

[iammalcolmx]

You post this shit because you know I love you and can't get mad. Wait till I give your kids Espressos when I am in Frankfurt

[secretlyevil]

Ok, I'm just gonna let iammalcolmx dole out your punishment. She seems to have a good plan.

[iammalcolmx]

Jun 7, 2015 6:15:30 GMT -5 secretlyevil said:

Ok, I'm just gonna let iammalcolmx dole out your punishment. She seems to have a good plan.

I am flying to Africa via Frankfurt* in July, I got this...........




*H chose this over seeing his family in Turkey cause he LOVES summer and her family.

[gazpacho]

That picture is horrifying. That looks like something out of a Stephen King movie

[summer]

Jun 7, 2015 6:19:42 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

Jun 7, 2015 6:15:30 GMT -5 secretlyevil said:

Ok, I'm just gonna let iammalcolmx dole out your punishment. She seems to have a good plan.

I am flying to Africa via Frankfurt* in July, I got this...........




*H chose this over seeing his family in Turkey cause he LOVES summer and her family.

xoxo

[nursewife]

If this ever happened in my area, I would stay inside forever like a crazy cat lady.

[vagrrrl]

That cannot be real!! PLEASE tell me it's not real!!! <shudders>

[sushi]

Pedantic sushi said they're not fish

[meshaliuknits]

Has anyone else seen that movie with the vaginas that had teeth? That's what it looks like.

[sushi]

Jun 7, 2015 10:35:50 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Has anyone else seen that movie with the vaginas that had teeth? That's what it looks like.

I have! Vaginas dentata is a real thing.

[meshaliuknits]

Jun 7, 2015 10:43:32 GMT -5 sushi said:

Jun 7, 2015 10:35:50 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Has anyone else seen that movie with the vaginas that had teeth? That's what it looks like.

I have! Vaginas dentata is a real thing.

Is it really? Is it like an absorbed twin or something?

[AAM2012]

WTF?!