This is dedicated to all the Paul Ryan Threads

[NitaX]

www.theonion.com/articles/your-republican-friend-to-explain-why-paul-ryan-is,29156/

Your Republican Friend To Explain Why Paul Ryan Is Great Choice


NEW YORK—Sources confirmed that in response to Mitt Romney's announcement of Paul Ryan as his vice presidential running mate, your Republican friend will soon explain to you that while the Wisconsin representative may appear to be a risky pick, he actually brings more to the ticket than you'd think. "If you stop for a second to consider his experience defending his "Path to Prosperity" budget in Congress, the fact that he hails from a swing state, and his keen political instincts, Paul Ryan makes perfect sense," your Republican friend will reportedly tell you this week, making sure to reference his earlier Facebook post observing that Ryan's latest Medicare proposal is co-sponsored by a Senate Democrat. "Combine that with his youthful energy and record of demolishing every opponent he's ever faced, and you’ve got a pretty strong ticket." The detailed explanation is expected to be a marked departure from 2008, when, following the selection of Sarah Palin, your Republican friend remained completely silent.

;D ;D

Not picking on the conservatives, I just died laughing at this considering the umpteen Paul Ryan threads we've had.

[EllieArroway]

Except that immediately following the selection of Sarah Palin most of my Republican friends excitedly told me all of the reasons that she was a great pick. It wasn't until later that they all shut up.

[NitaX]

On the real, I say let conservatives celebrate Ryan's pick. God knows he's a GAZILLION times better than Palin. You need something to lift your spirits after the debacle that was 2008. I mean, Obama's still gonna win, but one must give hope to the people yes?! *winks*

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!

*Note - This is an open invitation to join in my silliness. We need some funniness around these parts lately*

[heyjude]

Everyone was in love w/ Palin too...at first. Just saying.

[GailGoldie]

I like this one better

www.theonion.com/articles/admit-it-i-scare-the-everloving-shit-out-of-you-do,29160/

Admit It, I Scare The Ever-Loving Shit Out Of You, Don't I?

BY PAUL RYAN
CANDIDATE FOR VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
AUGUST 13, 2012 | ISSUE 48•33

When Mitt Romney selected me as his running mate, I knew the Democratic attack dogs would come out in full force. They would say I’m a right-wing ideologue. They would say my views on entitlement programs are far too radical. They would say putting me on the ticket immediately kills Mitt Romney’s chances of becoming president because I’m a liability.

But if we’re being honest with each other—if we’re able to put aside the talking points for a few minutes and say what we’re all actually thinking and feeling—I believe we can acknowledge the real truth here.

I’m young, I’m handsome, I’m smart, and I’m articulate. And that scares the ever-loving shit out of you. You can pretend like you have this thing in the bag, but you know good goddamn well that this race just got real interesting, real fast.

It’s okay to admit it. You’re frightened to death of me.

It might actually be healthy for you to face your fears now rather than later, when Mitt and I are leading by a few points in the polls and it looks like this thing might end badly for you. Face it: I’m not some catastrophe waiting to happen, like a Sarah Palin or a Dan Quayle. On the contrary, you have the exact opposite fear. I’m a solid, competent, some might say exceptional, politician.

Did you get nervous when you read that last sentence? Is it because you know in your heart of hearts that it’s 100 percent true? Is it because, even if you strongly disagree with my beliefs on Medicare, Social Security, women’s rights, and marriage equality, you know my talent as a speaker and my well-thought-out approach to these issues—no matter how radical and convoluted you find them—might just be enough to win over independent voters?

Do you get chills just thinking about how strong my appeal actually is?

I have another question for you: How scared are you that I can convince people I’m right? Because I’m good at it. No, I’m really good at it. You see, I know how to turn up the charm and charisma without putting people off. Then I back up what I’m saying with arguments that, when they come out of my mouth, sound completely accurate and well-reasoned. And I do it with such passion that people automatically recognize me as a man with deep convictions he will stand up for, no matter what.
The American people love that shit. They love it.

Passion, intellect, and a magnetic personality. Pretty damn intimidating combo, if I say so myself. You want to talk about polish? Man, I’ve got polish for miles. Oh, and by the way, I’ll go ahead and say this next thing because, if we’re being honest, why the hell not, right? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m white. Hoo, brother, am I white.

Yup, you should be scared shitless of me, because guess who isn’t? The people of Wisconsin. They love me. Republicans and Democrats there love me. Hell, I get Democrats to vote for me even if my policies make zero sense when it comes to their livelihoods. Do you know why? Because they like me. They like my story. Young, good-looking kid who pulled himself up by his bootstraps to make something of himself. Christ, I'm a storybook candidate. I balance out this ticket so well it’s almost too perfect. The people of Ohio are going to think that. And seniors in Florida—the state we supposedly lost when Mitt picked me—won’t be so scared as soon they know that my mother lives in Florida, and that all I want to do is reform the health care system so she can receive care that makes good fiscal sense.

Boy, I’m going to sell the shit out of that talking point. And I’m going to do a great job of it. Why? Because I’m Paul Ryan. That’s what I do.

And if we’re having trouble getting Pennsylvania on board, just wait until I absolutely wipe the floor with Joe Biden in the vice presidential debates. Don’t think for a second that I don’t know you’re terrified of us facing off, because in the back of your mind you know it could be a bloodbath up there.

Well, that’s 77 electoral votes, and by my math that means you can kiss your golden boy goodbye after four short years. All that promise. All that energy. All that potential. Gone in one November night.

I’m your worst fucking nightmare.

[IIOY]

Aug 15, 2012 18:59:24 GMT -5 NitaX said:

On the real, I say let conservatives celebrate Ryan's pick. God knows he's a GAZILLION times better than Palin. You need something to lift your spirits after the debacle that was 2008. I mean, Obama's still gonna win, but one must give hope to the people yes?! *winks*

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!

*Note - This is an open invitation to join in my silliness. We need some funniness around these parts lately*

I almost forgive you for the AARP comment earlier.

Almost.

Don't get extra with me. LOL

[NitaX]

IIOY - You know I love you Boo. With yo' old ass. LOL

But, umm, yeah, like next time I visit your town, whip that AARP card out so we can get a discount on lunch!

[ttt]

Rep. Paul Ryan was announced Saturday as Republican candidate Mitt Romney’s vice presidential running mate. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about the 42-year-old Wisconsin politician:

Birth Place: Congressional hatchery with 15,000 other squirming political pupae

Favorite 2012 Presidential Candidate: Libertarian Gary Johnson

Vice Presidential Vetting Process: Was asked if he was gay about 47 different ways

Foreign Policy Experience: Romney-level of low

Wants to See: An America without poor and sick people, but probably not in the way you'd like

Favorite Olympics: 2002 Winter Games In Salt Lake City

Weapon: Throwing knives

Number of Words Spoken to Mitt Romney: 16

Aspirations: Hopes to one day cut his own job

Willing to Do What's Needed to Take Back the White House and Make America Great Again: Yes

[lys]

OK - for fairness - where is the Joe Biden article?

[ringstrue]

Aug 16, 2012 8:24:47 GMT -5 lys said:

OK - for fairness - where is the Joe Biden article?

In fairness, who the hell ever defended Biden?

[IIOY]

Aug 15, 2012 22:06:44 GMT -5 NitaX said:

IIOY - You know I love you Boo. With yo' old ass. LOL

But, umm, yeah, like next time I visit your town, whip that AARP card out so we can get a discount on lunch!

I'll probably be too busy meeting with my own death panel!