Explain vasectomy to kids?

[anna7602]

If your H doesn't want to explain, I wouldn't. And if he does, then he gets to have this conversation!

[rootbeerfloat]

I don't think we've ever explicitly told the kids that H had a vasectomy or explained what it was. (And he's not shy; everyone knows about his vasectomy adventures, lol.) They still think we might have another baby someday.

[anna7602]

Jun 22, 2015 17:49:49 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Jun 22, 2015 17:46:32 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

If your H doesn't want to explain, I wouldn't. And if he does, then he gets to have this conversation!

So what would you say? Just..."Daddy has an injury"?

Daddy went to see the doctor today, he's not feeling well. The doctor told him to use ice to feel better (if they see him with an ice pack.)"Injury" would invite more questions.

[countthestars]

Can you say that he had to have a procedure and is fine but might be sore for a few days? I don't think she needs details but I don't know how hard she will press. You could always say that it is private and not polite to ask people questions about medical procedures if they don't want to talk about it?

[whitemerlot]

I'm going to be facing the same thing and have a kid the same age. I think we will say he had an appointment and that he has to use ice for a while on his lap. Lol!

[DarcyLongfellow]

My kid would also ask a ton of questions.

I'm not sure how we'd handle it, but I'd be tempted to say something like Daddy had an injury and he needs to put ice on it to feel better. Or I might say had a procedure done -- she's seen me get moles and cysts removed, so she might just assume it was something like that.

I'd be tempted to be honest and say the procedure/injury was to his testicles, but I wouldn't say that if she's likely to tell everyone. If you could convince her not to share that information I'd be a lot more likely to tell her.

Good luck -- let us know how the discussion goes :-)

[zarapipe]

daddy hurt his penis and has to take it easy for a few days.

[spk926]

My first thought is to just say "The doctor had to fix something on daddy." If she asks what say "his penis". But then she might go around telling people "the doctor had to fix daddy's penis" and that would be a little awkward.

[Deleted]

lolololol. Well I have an answer for what I did!

DD1 knows the basics of sex, so I just told her what was going on. "Daddy is going to the doctor, and the doctor is going to do a very small surgery on Daddy's penis to make sure he will not make any more sperm. We don't want any more children, so if Daddy can't make sperm anymore, the sperm can't find my egg and I can't get pregnant. It will hurt him for a few days, and he won't be able to play with you as much, but it's not a big deal and he will feel fine afterward."

Now that being said, I wish I had rehashed it with her or made 100% sure she understood the explanation, because a few months ago we were driving in the car and for some reason DD1 was talking about having another sibling. And I said "Oh, do you want one?" and she said "I do, but Daddy had... what did he have? Where you cut off his thing? The thing that is by his bottom?"

"His penis?"

"Yeah, you cut that off so you can't have any more babies!"



Obviously I explained it again after that. 

For things we don't want DD1 repeating outside the house, we talk a lot about "family business," i.e. things that we talk about within our own family but don't share with others. We have emphasized with her a bunch of times that H's vasectomy is family business and not to be discussed.... but DD1 is an introvert and has a lot of self control. We may not trust DD2 with sensitive information quite as much because she is shaping up to be basically the opposite of DD1.

Finally, I think it's OK not to share this with her, or just say he has an injury, if your H is going to be SUPER sensitive and embarrassed if this gets around. I am 100% for being open and honest with kids and I try to be as matter of fact, open, and neutral about all things related to sex so that my kids don't grow up feeling like it is a taboo or squicky topic. For us it was a no brainer to share this info. But I certainly would not share details with them that H or I would be super embarrassed about being repeated to friends or family. So that is a judgment call that has a lot to do with your kid, your husband, your family dynamic, and your preferences. I think it is a good idea to give your curious kid an honest and respectful explanation, if you guys and she can handle it, but it certainly is not mandatory.

[mpc]

My parents told me that dad had a procedure (?) because they didn't want to get pregnant again. I remember they told me that either mom or dad could do it, but it was a lot easier for dad so he was doing it. lol.

for me, that didn't mean no more siblings. they just adopted my brother later.

[loreleigilmore]

I told my kids that daddy's schlong got shlopped. Was that wrong? ?

[mainelyfoolish]

If you're ok with a little white lie, tell them daddy had a hernia.