Wisdom from the first year of your child's life

[bowies]

I'm in a reflective mood since DS turns 1 a week from today. I knew nothing about birthing or raising babies until DS arrived. I don't think I'd even held a baby since I was in high school. This past year has been quite educational, LOL. I learned a lot of practical things, as well as that I'm a lot more patient than I thought I was.

What did you learn about being a parent during the first year of your child(ren)'s life? What did you learn about yourself? You can be as specific or as general as you want.

[sewf]

Communicate with your partner. Also, alternate caregiving, meaning, you watch the kid for an hour so your partner can watch tv alone. Then switch so you can read for a while. Family time is important, but so is alone time to recharge the batteries, so to speak.

[countthestars]

As soon as you have it all figured out, it changes again. Learn to roll with the punches.

[catsarecute]

This too shall pass. Each phase that seems like OMG THE WORST really doesn't last forever, even though it seems like it will at the time.

Asking for help is 100% necessary and I honestly don't know what I would have done if I didn't have family close. I bow down to those of you who live far from family and make it work.

I learned that I don't need 9 hours of sleep a night to function. I was really worried about that!

[Deleted]

Repeat as needed: This too shall pass. Because it really will.

[smock]

It's easier if you accept that it will be hard.

I spent a lot of the first 6 months thinking "maybe TONIGHT is the night where she will magically STTN!" and then being very, very disappointed at 1am. When I just said "okay, she's going to wake up" and "okay, I'm not going to do the math on how much sleep I'm getting" it really did feel like a weight off my shoulders.

I was so impatient--for her to sleep better, for me to lose the weight, for us to get into a routine--that I pushed myself and put way too much pressure on myself. When she was 6 weeks old, I was like "great, I know what I'm doing, I can totally do chores and get work done while she naps, because I'm an old pro at this." And then I started suffering from insomnia, and beating myself up about not being able to sleep when I really, really needed to rest. When I finally cut myself some slack and rested during the day, I started sleeping better at night.

And the hard parts are temporary. The 4mw DOES eventually end. It really did get a lot easier after 6-7 months. So, in summation . . . ditto @this.

[Brie]

Don't lose yourself in being a parent.

It will seem all-consuming for awhile, but find ways, even if it's just a 10 minute bubble bath at night or reading a book, to care for yourself.

Relatedly, take care of your marriage. Don't feel guilty about having a date night and be honest with each other. And don't hold things said between 1-5 am against your partner.

[undecidedowl]

Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Always put socks on the baby.
Enjoy every moment.



No?

[scribellesam]

Try not to compare your baby to other babies the same age. Just because your friend's baby STTN at 6 weeks and yours is still up every three hours around the clock at 8mo (*cough* not that I would know anything about that) doesn't mean something is wrong. Every baby has their own "normal."

[undecidedowl]

But really, no matter how good or bad things are...they will change, most likely as soon as you get into a routine.

And nothing good comes from adding up how much I (don't) sleep.

[undecidedowl]

And for more practical widsom- when in doubt, always move up a size in diapers. The savings isn't worth the blowouts.

[Deleted]

Never wake a sleeping baby. DD slept most of the time from 0-3 months and I remember trying to wake her up to stimulate her. LO-f-ing L
Be more patient.
Go ahead and use a nipple shield/paci without guilt. It is not as horrible as the hospitals make you to believe.
Pump and freeze when you can.

[Deleted]

Every mommy war on the internet is made up so don't stress yourself about it. BF, FF... as long as you're not MMSF (McDonald's milk shake feeding) you are doing ok.

[SJ]

MMM is so wise. I love all of this.

[thebreakfastclub]

Don't go into it with a ton of dread, and keep in mind that it's usually the problems or issues that you read about. The mom who hasn't bathed in 4 days and has puke in her hair wasn't my reality.

[specialk]

Babies are more durable than they look.

[arch01]

Enjoy the good moments. You will miss them.

(I basically hated everything about the first year of DS' life. I didn't enjoy some of the good moments as much as I should have and really regret it now).

Don't be tied to a clock or number of ounces of milk/day-feed the baby and don't worry about the rest.

[jeaniebueller]

Mine is simple:



Accept help from all sources.
Don't worry about keeping a tiny baby on a schedule. Just because your mom/MIL/babysitter/friend gets your baby's routine messed up one night, don't stress about it and move on.
Just because one night is god awful doesn't mean that the next night will be and vice versa.
One day at a time.

[bullsgirl]

Don't be afraid to get out and do things. Nobody in Target, on the airplane, etc. really cares that my h is your baby starts crying.

[jinkies]

It doesn't matter what anyone else does (or did) with their baby. Your kid is your own, and what others do is not relevant.

I spent so much of my kid's first year worried about being judged by others, and trying to do everything "right" before I finally accepted that there is no "right."

[Deleted]

Don't fret about next "stage" of babyhood. I remember worrying "why isn't he crawling?!" Then a few months later "why isn't he walking?!" So much fretting for no reason. Babies reach milestones in their own time.

Keep doing whatever is working! No, you don't "need" to ditch the swaddle if baby sleeps well in it. You don't "need" to put baby in the crib if he sleeps fine in the RnP. You don't "need" to do anything. If it works, KOKO!