How would you handle this friend situation?

[spunkarella]

Thank you!

[mrssavy42112]

I don't understand how her husband leaving for a work trip means she has to bring him? If she wants to spend the last few days with him, which I can understand, then she should stay home.

[birdmom]

Would you be bummed if she didn't come? Maybe you could tell her to just enjoy spending some time with her husband and you can catch up with her next time? Maybe she'd get the hint that you don't want him to come along.

That's odd. I wouldn't ask (nor would I want) for my husband to come along for a girls day.

[cgpm]

I would think that he wouldn't have all that great of a time hanging out with a bunch of women trying to get their girl time in. I know my DH wouldn't. Unless he is planning to do something else while you girls hang out?

I think it's a little weird for her to even ask... I would probably tell her that she should just spend the time with her husband and that you can do something else together some other time, as PP suggested.

[definitelyO]

I would say what you did, "We will miss you, but I'm sure other friend will understand! You and husband enjoy your weekend together!! we'll catch up later. "

[vanillacourage]

Aug 16, 2012 15:51:23 GMT -5 definitelyO said:

I would say what you did, "We will miss you, but I'm sure other friend will understand! You and husband enjoy your weekend together!! we'll catch up later. "

Agree. I would not dance around it. She's probably looking for an out anyway and just doesn't want to be the bad guy.

[spunkarella]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds this strange. DH and I love each other but also enjoy spending time with other people, independently.

I just needed some reassurance that I'm not a complete jerk! And some help on the wording since I can be a little too blunt at times. Thanks!!

[rubytue]

I have a couple of friends who always bring their husbands to girls nights. It's so annoying that it basically split our monthly girls night group in two bc half won't show if these 2 bring their husbands.

I have no advice bc I'm in the don't show rather than say something group.

[twodogsandababy]

H is about to deploy for 8 months and even I think that is strange thing to ask! I wouldn't want him at a girls day or any of my friend's husbands!

[SJ]

This would not fly in my circle. We are close enough to say "no! This is girl time!"

[Deleted]

when you say long work trip, I'm assuming a few weeks? She can't be away from him for a few hours? that's weird. I would just say "spend time with your H, we'll catch up another time and try to do a girls day again sooner this time!"

[ejpint]

I'd probably say something like, "Totally understand if you want to spend time with your husband instead of hanging out for girl time - we'll have to catch you the next time! Just let us know if you change your mind!"

[Deleted]

Aug 16, 2012 16:06:19 GMT -5 spunkarella said:

Aug 16, 2012 16:03:32 GMT -5 flygirl said:

when you say long work trip, I'm assuming a few weeks? She can't be away from him for a few hours? that's weird. I would just say "spend time with your H, we'll catch up another time and try to do a girls day again sooner this time!"

To be fair, he is going to a war zone for several months as a contractor. And the meetup is 2 hours away from her home. But I still want it to be a chatty girl day. First world problem, I know.

If I were her I would spend the time w/ my h in this situation, especially given the war zone thing.

You all aren't allowed to talk shit or hold it against her if you tell her she can't bring her husband. Which is totally justified to make it girls only, btw. Just - no being mad at her for it.

[dexteroni]

I love my friends but if my DH were leaving for a war zone for several months, I would ditch a shower I was *hosting,* not just attending, lol. Ditto the others, just say "Oh my gosh! Don't even give us a second thought. Go have a great weekend with your husband and we'll get together very soon." Maybe offer to take her gift to the shower or something if you want to be extra nice.

[dr.girlfriend]

"Spend the quality time with your hubby. Everyone will understand. Looking forward to catching up with you later!"

I am sure as HELL that he does not actually want to be there!

[carfar]

Agree, with above. Plan another girls day for while her H is away, I'm sure she'll need it !

[GailGoldie]

i have never had a problem telling a friend "no kids, no husbands" etc... when it's a girl's night/trip/lunch whatever - that's what it is - not for husbands or kids, etc.