OMG! MIL

[joenali]

DH is on the phone with his mom. We visited in June. No one has called since we have visited to tell DH that his grandfather is in a nursing home and has been for awhile. DH called his mom to wish her a Happy Birthday and this is the news he gets.

I really like MIL, but this is crazy! Who doesn't let family members know that someone is sick?

[Deleted]

That's annoying. However, I find it odd that your DH hasn't talked to his mom since June? Perhaps she didn't tell him because they are not really a close family?

I talk to my mom almost daily, and she's not always so good at sharing health related news either. I mean if it was something serious/emergency with a family member, I think she would. But she's terrible at telling me that my grandpa is having an important medical test done or something of the like. Maybe if this grandpa had been deteriorating for a while and nothing big changed with his health they just didn't see it as "OMG must call now" news and then never got around to calling.

[Deleted]

I feel your pain. My parents have done the same thing and it sucks

[sarahbear]

They haven't talked since June?

[heygrey]

your husband has to take half the blame for not calling his mother in 2ish months.

[joenali]

We were with them for 2 weeks and left on July 5. But yeah, no phone calls since we left. They have facebooked a few times.

[7costanza]

That's pretty weird! I don't have a great relationship with my dad (not much of one at all actually) and we probably talk every two or three months, and even he emailed me to let me know he was having a health issue.

[Deleted]

My dad does that. He has a really hard time dealing with emotional stuff--he waited like 3-4 months to tell us his brother had terminal cancer.

[SJ]

My DH talks to his parents maybe once a quarter when they are overseas, so this could easily happen on our family.

[Deleted]

Thats crazy, I can't believe no one told him. I also can't believe he hasn't talked to his mom since you left. If I didn't talk to my mom in a month and a half she would call me wondering were she went wrong with her parenting to raise a child that doesn't talk to her parents regularly. Thats just my family though, we are pretty close.

[LoveTrains]

Eh, I have a good relationship with my parents but we only talk on the phone about once a month and don't really talk about health related things.

I think it's strange and possibly mean to say that you aren't a close/loving family if you don't talk on the phone daily.

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2012 6:38:39 GMT -5 LoveTrains said:

I think it's strange and possibly mean to say that you aren't a close/loving family if you don't talk on the phone daily.

There's a big difference between talking on the phone daily and not talking for nearly two months.

[ECB]

I don't know his grandfathers issues or why he was put in a home, or when (was it last week or a month ago?).

However, I dealt w/ my mom being diagnosed w/ lung cancer a few years ago. And right now my step-mother is dealing w/ her sister being very sick from bladder cancer and related issues.

When you're hit in the face w/ this stuff, you can easily get tunnel vision. You get so focused on the issues at hand that it may actually be possible to forget to call people.

Is your DH at all concerned w/ how his mom is doing and how this has affected her and her life? Or are you all just pissed that "she didn't call!!!!".

[80sjunkie]

I feel like I've seen other people post about parents not telling them about illnesses. Maybe it's common than you think.

[mrs.spunky]

Aug 17, 2012 7:51:58 GMT -5 80sjunkie said:

I feel like I've seen other people post about parents not telling them about illnesses. Maybe it's common than you think.

It is with my ILs.

My MIL had a surgery this past winter, was in the hospital 1 night, then recovered at home for ~10 days, and we STILL don't know what the surgery was for. Apparently, she told DH she would tell him if he really really wanted to know, but was sure he wouldn't want to know details, so he left it at that. She also didn't want us to visit or anything.

FIL had surgery to remove a large piece of skin from his scalp after it was determined he had skin cancer. Actually, a small piece was supposed to be removed but it was worse once the surgeon actually went to do the procedure. Anyway, it was some rare form of skin cancer, but he still, almost 2 years later, won't tell us what kind or the likelihood of it coming back.

When DH's grandmother was hospitalized, MIL didn't call him til after she was released.