Post something funny your kid said recently

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Lucy is turning into a little old lady. My sister is taking her and my nephew to camp this week She also picked her up yesterday bc STEPHANIE didn't feel well and left work early and was in the neighborhood.

Liam: well mom, what's wrong with you?
Stephanie: my throat hurts and my head hurts and I'm just really tired bud. Nothing serious
Lucy: well at LEAST it's not CANCER!

What the hell you guys

[cuddlyevil]

DS2 said: "No, mama would be safe because she's a girl and it's a maneater shark" to stbx after a conversation about the new bridge over the shark tank at the aquarium.

[circa1978]

LOL. Henry informed my H recently that daddies and mommies are not people. That explains the inhumane treatment of us.

[gummybear]

Yesterday we were in a parking lot and on the main road, a truck beeped his horn. My soon-to-be 4-yo bellowed "DUMB BITCH!" loudly.
I need to be more careful with my language in the car.

[gummybear]

And my 7-year-old has been singing Nelly (since I've been playing it since the concert) "I'm going down down baby, your street in a rainbow"

[litebright]

DH and I were having a conversation last night and made references to "calling a horse race."

DD2 interrupted us with a very incredulous, "Horses can make calls!?!?"

[indianchica]

This is obviously DD2 repeating what we say:
"Mommy, I love you so much. I mean I really love you. I am going to miss you and Daddy."
"I love you too honey. But where am I going?" (I was thinking she was going to say she'll miss us when we die.)
"I am going to miss you when you go away to college. That will be so sad for me."
LOL

[CurlyQ284]

I hope this works. DS singing Bob Marley this morning.

*poof*

[Deleted]

Sofia was colouring and theo kept being theo. You know, grabbing the paper, trying to scribble all over her art. Anyway, she turned to him with the most serious expression on her face and said "Theo? You are driving me NUTS!"

[ninjabridemom]

Marcus sneezed and I said "Bless you!" He looked at me sideways and said "No thank you.....I SAY NO THANK YOU!"

This morning as I was leaving daycare I said to Gabe "Have a lot of fun at school babe!" and he gave me a kiss and said "Hab a lot of fun at wowk Monny." <3

[nahoku]

On our Colorado trip, after we saw a mama bear with her cub. She says all this without taking a breath

DD: Mama bears are scary, I don't want to see a mama bear, I want to see a baby bear, I want to pet a baby bear, but not a big bear, no way.

We had to have a bear safety reminder talk after that one. No petting baby bears, even if they look really cute!

[charley]

Last night it was "Mom, we have the best baby in the world."
Me: "I know, I like her"
Kid: "She can't come to our birthday party"
Me: "oh, well, she is coming. she's your sister."
Kid: (eyeroll, which is a new one) "FINE. but she cant bring anything elmo"

[Deleted]

Oh. I was filling out one of those father's day questionaires and she said "dad likes to shop at the hard work store"

[luckyval]

Me (talking to H while Hart is on my lap): Yeah, well, take that with a grain of salt.

Hart: Yeah, take that with a grain of bacon.

[CurlyQ284]

Jul 1, 2015 10:14:17 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Jul 1, 2015 10:10:36 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

I hope this works. DS singing Bob Marley this morning.

He's such a little man with that slicked do!

DH does his hair in the morning. All the teachers at daycare love his hair. It's mentioned a few times a week lol

[nahoku]

Also, DD has started talking about "the sky crib," which is where she was/existed before she was born. That's where all babies stay until they're born, apparently. "Mama, how come I wasn't on that vacation with you?" "You weren't born yet, honey." "Oh, you mean I was in the sky crib?" "I guess?"

Who has seen the Dr Seuss Hoober-bloob Highway movie? It reminds me of that!

[zaneyzoo]

My 3 year old DD last night was standing on the other side of the room and nonchalantly says "Fuck"then looks over at me with a little shit eating grin to see what I would do.

I laughed #parentingfail

Then realized I need to watch my mouth. I'm a bad cusser, especially in the car.

[keyslover]

DD2 told me last week she was going to be a dentist when she grows up because being a Mom is too much work.

[anlo]

On vacation this week:

"I thought it was a tradition to go swimming everyday but I GUESS NOT."

"It's raining, DD."

"AND YOU WONT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!"

[eddy]

I asked Jack what he did at summer camp one day and all annoyed he said "Mom don't you know I play UNO int hte morning and chess in the afternoon" scuse me senior citizen I must have missed that memo.

[charley]

Jul 1, 2015 10:16:27 GMT -5 nahoku said:

Also, DD has started talking about "the sky crib," which is where she was/existed before she was born. That's where all babies stay until they're born, apparently. "Mama, how come I wasn't on that vacation with you?" "You weren't born yet, honey." "Oh, you mean I was in the sky crib?" "I guess?"

Who has seen the Dr Seuss Hoober-bloob Highway movie? It reminds me of that!

Mine are having a really hard time with this! I think I told them they were in heaven before my belly so now they talk about "when they were dead" if something happened before them. Passing old house "look guys, mom and dad used to live there!" "oh, when we were dead?" Picture of us at wedding "is this when we were dead?" Kind of morbid.

[ninjabridemom]

Jul 1, 2015 10:14:15 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Me (talking to H while Hart is on my lap): Yeah, well, take that with a grain of salt.

Hart: Yeah, take that with a grain of bacon.

Hahahahaha this is a MUCH better phrase.

[nahoku]

Jul 1, 2015 10:22:56 GMT -5 charley said:

Jul 1, 2015 10:16:27 GMT -5 nahoku said:

Also, DD has started talking about "the sky crib," which is where she was/existed before she was born. That's where all babies stay until they're born, apparently. "Mama, how come I wasn't on that vacation with you?" "You weren't born yet, honey." "Oh, you mean I was in the sky crib?" "I guess?"

Who has seen the Dr Seuss Hoober-bloob Highway movie? It reminds me of that!

Mine are having a really hard time with this! I think I told them they were in heaven before my belly so now they talk about "when they were dead" if something happened before them. Passing old house "look guys, mom and dad used to live there!" "oh, when we were dead?" Picture of us at wedding "is this when we were dead?" Kind of morbid.

Tell them about the sky crib in heaven!  Where God keeps all the little babies before they're born. lol.

[usuallylurking]

DS1 was directing DS2 to talk, as he sometimes does.
B: "say Annie"
L: "Annie"
B: "say beanstalk"
L: "beanstalk"
B: "say brothers and sisters to the rescue"
L: "I don't want to talk to you, Mehm" ("Ben")

[laceylaplante]

From the bathroom I hear DS2 go, "Oh oh."

I went in to check on him and he's wiping up pee on the floor and he said, "I had a double pee, Mommy. Why did my pee do that? I didn't want it to."

[ninjabridemom]

The boys found their testicles in the bath the other night and Jake relayed this conversation to me:

Boys: What des Daddya?
Jake: Those are your testicles. They are in your scrotum.
Boys: What they do?
Jake: ......
Marc: They for eating?
Gabe: They for touching?
Marc: They for running?
Gabe: They for hitting?
Jake: NO DON'T HIT YOUR TESTICLES!!!!
Boys: What they for??
Jake: ..... they're for growing.....

[ginandjucie24]

My ds says "I have the poops" whenever lay him down for nap time. He doesn't have the poops he just doesn't want to nap.

[ska]

I made brownies for my DS's 13th Bday. He cut them in 15 portions and ate 2. I had one and my other DS had 2 after the first DS went to bed. My DH works the overnight shift and therefore was up all night by himself. He ate the rest of the brownies. The next day my son couldn't believe they were gone already but didn't seem mad.
Later DH and I were discussing what DH could pack for lunch for work.
Me:How about a roast beef sandwich?
DH:Hmmm...maybe a salad...
DS(deadpans from the other room):How about 13 brownies?

[usuallylurking]

Oh, and also this one. I'm officially too dumb for DS1.
"Mom, what are baby octopuses called?"
"Um, I'm not sure."
"Well. Dad knows more than you, huh?"
"I don't know about that..."
"Well. I sure hope so."

[fryjack2]

The boys are in camp at their preschool all morning this week.

On Monday, on the way to their 1st day of camp, Henry told our neighbor his favorite part of camp was "FIRE!!" and Jack said, "TENTS!"

They were so so so bummed when they realized it's not the type of camp that they saw on Curious George.

I don't like nature camping. Maybe H can take them one day.