Don't mess with a Tula mom

[jeaniebueller]

The store manager is an ass for photographing this customer.

www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/07/01/facebook-post-critical-baby-wearing/29552653/

TAMPA — A Florida mother is stunned over the criticism she received from a store manager after she went shopping with her children.

Erica Kalnins was carrying her 5-year-old daughter in a baby carrier strapped to her back while she was shopping at Citrus Park Mall on Monday. The mother of two children, had both her 5-year-old and a 1-year-old with her.

"Actually, we just stopped because my daughter wanted some bracelets. She was excited but she wasn't feeling well, so I said we'll stop real fast, so I put her in the Tula on my back."

She said she had no idea a store manager had taken a photograph of her and her daughter and posted it to social media.



“It's just completely unacceptable for someone to take what I did by shopping with my kids to turn it into something to cause hurt and pain.”
Erica Kalnins, on criticism she received
A manager for Icing, a jewelry store, wrote on her own personal, public Facebook page that she snapped the photo of one of her customers while the customer was shopping. The manager used strong language to criticize Kalnins by saying she should know her daughter is much too old to be in a baby carrier.

Kalnins said the store manager's posting was shared so many times from Facebook to other baby wearing social media sites that she stumbled across it and immediately recognized her daughter.

"It's just completely unacceptable for someone to take what I did by shopping with my kids to turn it into something to cause hurt and pain," Kalnins said.

The Tampa Bay-area mom said she has received an overwhelming amount of support from as far away as Australia.

Two dozen mothers, with children strapped to them, marched to the mall Tuesday to prove a point that store managers shouldn't criticize them for the way they carry their children.

"It has nothing to do with being a lazy parent — it just has to do with us as moms wanting to carry our babies close because they're not small for long," Kalnins said. "We want to educate people that it's not a weird thing to carry your baby it's totally normal. We like to carry them to have them close we have both our hands free. It's a common sense thing — and we can shop and they're not destroying your store."

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, baby wearing promotes "parent-infant attachment and the baby's development."

The Icing store at Citrus Park said the store manager wasn't available for an interview. However, Icing's corporate office released a statement saying:

We were appalled by the views expressed by this Manager on her personal Facebook account, and her actions were a significant breach of conduct that we take very seriously. Her personal views in no way reflect the views of Icing, and we have taken the necessary appropriate action with the individual.

Christy Scott, one of the mothers showing support for Kalnins, said the store manager should be forced to apologize publicly.

"If she's able to go on her phone to take these pictures, this isn't the first time she's done it."

[Deleted]

That is shameful.
Why did the store manager think that was an awesome idea to post? It's just plain mean.

I do not understand five year olds in a carrier of any sort either...but to each their own. It's not life altering.

On that same note, mad props to that mom for being able to carry her kid. DD will be 4 next week, strong is my strong suit (ha!) and I can't carry her long at all anymore.

[Deleted]

She should be fired. What an asshole for taking a pic of another person's kid and posting it on social media to criticize.

[curbsideprophet]

Not cool

[longtimenopost]

This is pretty awful. We will carry DD as long as we can and she may not learn to walk until 4 or 5 if at all. I don't think that's the situation this mom is in, but what if it was?

[curbsideprophet]

Jul 2, 2015 9:54:45 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

I'll be honest, I would roll my eyes probably too. I would not take a picture or post anything on my fb page about it though.

Why though? Why do you care? For all you know the kid has an injury/issue and can not walk for long periods of time.

Seems better than the kid running crazy around the store.

[jeaniebueller]

Jul 2, 2015 9:54:09 GMT -5 @abbycobb said:

I get really disgusted in general with people taking pictures of strangers and posting them on social media to mock them. What a horrible trend, especially since it's usually completely unsuspecting people just carrying on with their day.

Honestly, I blame the People of Walmart website for starting the trend that is okay to mock people.

[matildasun]

We wore A when she broke her leg in November. She was 5, 45 lbs, and 46 inches tall. She decided around March that she was too big to be carried, and we respected that. If she wanted to be carried we still would.

I get comments about wearing my three year old, yet it is common here for three year olds to be in strollers.

It is never okay to post pictures of other peoples kids.

longtimenopost-- As as she gets bigger you may want a pre-school sized kinder pack. We love ours.

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2015 10:08:59 GMT -5 jeaniebueller said:

Jul 2, 2015 9:54:09 GMT -5 @abbycobb said:

I get really disgusted in general with people taking pictures of strangers and posting them on social media to mock them. What a horrible trend, especially since it's usually completely unsuspecting people just carrying on with their day.

Honestly, I blame the People of Walmart website for starting the trend that is okay to mock people.

i was coming in to post this.

People of Walmart is mean and low and so is this woman.

[Brie]

Jul 2, 2015 9:44:38 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

I do not understand five year olds in a carrier of any sort either...but to each their own. It's not life altering.

While we aren't there yet, there is a good chance that due to P's cerebral palsy he will look like a typically developing kid but be unable to walk long distances and tire easily. I am sure we will use strollers and carriers much longer than people think is socially acceptable. I am in a CP group on FB and the judgements parents post there that they've been subjected to are appalling.

I will absolutely wear him as long as I'm able in those situations and if anyone gives me shit about it I will rain down mama bear fucking hellfire on their asses.

[thebreakfastclub]

This manager will surely be fired. At my old retailer, we had a very strict social media policy. No posting of store activities, period. They fired people for posting pictures of Superbowl tees before the game ended and of new basketball shoes before the official launch date. It's no joke.

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2015 10:14:42 GMT -5 Brie said:

Jul 2, 2015 9:44:38 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

I do not understand five year olds in a carrier of any sort either...but to each their own. It's not life altering.

While we aren't there yet, there is a good chance that due to P's cerebral palsy he will look like a typically developing kid but be unable to walk long distances and tire easily. I am sure we will use strollers and carriers much longer than people think is socially acceptable. I am in a CP group on FB and the judgements parents post there that they've been subjected to are appalling.

I will absolutely wear him as long as I'm able in those situations and if anyone gives me shit about it I will rain down mama bear fucking hellfire on their asses.

I totally get it. I understand it that way. It's just one of things I think in my head and think "Why! oh. Why?" Then I stop and think "Hmm...maybe there's an issue there." Then my mind wanders back to "Crunchy Mama. You do you. I prefer my kids get off of me anytime today!"  

I'm smart enough and have enough common sense to realize every situation is different and everyone has their rhyme and reason. I also know better than to a) put that thought anywhere else other than in my head b) take a picture of it. 

It's not so much a judgement thing I'm going to dwell on as it is a knee jerk reaction, kwim? 

[sent]

Carrying a 5 year old sounds a lot better than letting her run free in a store like Icing while mom tries to tend to a likely needy 1 year old. Yes, file this under people are stupid and should just learn to KOKO.

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2015 10:27:00 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

I know I'm missing the point, but where was the one year old?

in a Tula on the 5 year old's back.

[Deleted]

I had DS in a carrier for a while yesterday because I didn't want to bring the double stroller. So I brought the single and each kid was in the stroller for a bit and on my back for a bit and running around for a bit. Kids like piggy back rides.

Hope the store owner learned to keep her thoughts to herself, rather than try to look cool on Facebook.

[ECB]

So, while someone carrying a child that big may make me do a double take, clearly there are many valid reasons for wearing a larger child. I understand that and respect it. And the whole concept of taking a picture and posting it - beyond unacceptable.

BUT I do have to say that this one quote is where I rolled my eyes:

"It has nothing to do with being a lazy parent — it just has to do with us as moms wanting to carry our babies close because they're not small for long," Kalnins said.

To me, that's ALL about the mom.  Not the child.  I feel like she's "infantizing" her child for HERSELF, out of her own desire to feel like she still has a "baby". 

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2015 10:32:43 GMT -5 ECB said:

So, while someone carrying a child that big may make me do a double take, clearly there are many valid reasons for wearing a larger child. I understand that and respect it. And the whole concept of taking a picture and posting it - beyond unacceptable.

BUT I do have to say that this one quote is where I rolled my eyes:

"It has nothing to do with being a lazy parent — it just has to do with us as moms wanting to carry our babies close because they're not small for long," Kalnins said.

To me, that's ALL about the mom.  Not the child.  I feel like she's "infantizing" her child for HERSELF, out of her own desire to feel like she still has a "baby". 

Do you really think she can make her sick 5 year old comply with being carried if the 5 year old hates it?

If I like to snuggle my 4 year old and pretend he's little for a few minutes, is that really wrong? Is it in it for MYSELF and I should let him be big (as he tells me he is 37 times a day)?

Honestly, if she prefers the Tula to a stroller, and her kid likes being carried around, who gives a shit if it's for the "wrong reasons". 

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2015 10:32:43 GMT -5 ECB said:

So, while someone carrying a child that big may make me do a double take, clearly there are many valid reasons for wearing a larger child. I understand that and respect it. And the whole concept of taking a picture and posting it - beyond unacceptable.

BUT I do have to say that this one quote is where I rolled my eyes:

"It has nothing to do with being a lazy parent — it just has to do with us as moms wanting to carry our babies close because they're not small for long," Kalnins said.

To me, that's ALL about the mom.  Not the child.  I feel like she's "infantizing" her child for HERSELF, out of her own desire to feel like she still has a "baby". 

Thanks. I think that's what led me to my initial response as it really stood out for me too. Carry your kid all you want but a five year old is not a baby no matter which way you cut it. My mind wasn't even wandering to disabilities/issues immediately after reading this (although I do IRL) because of above statement. I also don't think it's a wrong statement or belief either to want to carry your kid, I just don't think a five year old is a baby. I can snuggle my "big kid" or carry her just fine too. There's a big leap between "baby" "little" and "big." 

[darnkatz]

Jul 2, 2015 10:04:22 GMT -5 longtimenopost said:

This is pretty awful. We will carry DD as long as we can and she may not learn to walk until 4 or 5 if at all. I don't think that's the situation this mom is in, but what if it was?

I always give people the benefit of the doubt because of situations like this. I have gotten to know many moms with kiddos with needs like this, and I would hate to cause any pain because of my own judgement.

[vanillacourage]

Remember this tumblr?

toobigforstroller.tumblr.com

[ECB]

Jul 2, 2015 10:37:20 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

 Carry your kid all you want but a five year old is not a baby no matter which way you cut it. My mind wasn't even wandering to disabilities/issues immediately after reading this (although I do IRL) because of above statement. I also don't think it's a wrong statement or belief either to want to carry your kid, I just don't think a five year old is a baby.

Yes, this speaks to why I rolled my eyes.  @tokenhoser the quote wasn't about how her child was sick.  it was about HER desire to feel that her child is still a baby.  I'm not saying it's wrong, and yes, I like to snuggle w/ my 6 year old at times.  BUT that doesn't mean that the quote didn't make me roll my eyes.  That was my personal reaction to that one specific quote.  

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2015 10:40:50 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Remember this tumblr?

toobigforstroller.tumblr.com

Confession: I'm sitting here b*tching about baby carriers for no real reason other than I'm kidless today, having coffee and trying to get up the ambition to organize. Read as: I don't care IRL at all. But this tumblr will probably be my kid. She loves the stroller and I'm not complaining! 

[jeaniebueller]

Jul 2, 2015 10:40:50 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Remember this tumblr?

toobigforstroller.tumblr.com

Fuck that person. Going around Disney and snapping photos of kids in strollers? Especially when some of the older kids are quite obviously just hanging out for a few in the stroller meant to be for their younger sibling. Get a life.

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2015 10:44:40 GMT -5 jeaniebueller said:

Jul 2, 2015 10:40:50 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Remember this tumblr?

toobigforstroller.tumblr.com

Fuck that person. Going around Disney and snapping photos of kids in strollers? Especially when some of the older kids are quite obviously just hanging out for a few in the stroller meant to be for their younger sibling. Get a life.

Yeah. I forgot that tumblr was Disney. It's a big place. Kids are tired. What do people expect will happen. There's a huge difference between an 8 year old in a stroller everyday on a neighborhood walk and sitting for 10 minutes because they're on Day 3, Hour 17 of Disney. 

Somtimes. I hate the internet. 

[Brie]

Jul 2, 2015 10:40:50 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Remember this tumblr?

toobigforstroller.tumblr.com

This is fucking disgusting.

I'm sure there's a shitty tumblr out there shaming people with handicapped parking permits too.

[thebreakfastclub]

Jul 2, 2015 10:41:53 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Also I would ride around in a stroller if I could get someone to push me.

I think my younger brother is counting down the years until he can get a free Hover Round and stair climber chair.

[shamrockshake]

Jul 2, 2015 10:27:00 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

I know I'm missing the point, but where was the one year old?

in a stroller. it's in the original picture post "what you don't see is in this picture is the (blurred) old in the stroller"

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2015 11:10:36 GMT -5 shamrockshake said:

Jul 2, 2015 10:27:00 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

I know I'm missing the point, but where was the one year old?

in a stroller. it's in the original picture post "what you don't see is in this picture is the (blurred) old in the stroller"

LOL, this is seriously what we were doing yesterday. Except I had DH to push the stroller.

I acknowledge that it probably looks crazy, but I got a nice workout and everyone was happy. DD loves the stroller. DS loves to piggy back ride. I love to not hear everyone whining for three and a half minutes. 

[glinda]

Jul 2, 2015 10:55:57 GMT -5 Brie said:

Jul 2, 2015 10:40:50 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Remember this tumblr?

toobigforstroller.tumblr.com

This is fucking disgusting.

I'm sure there's a shitty tumblr out there shaming people with handicapped parking permits too.

Random story, I know, but we inherited DH's truck from his grandpa and it had a handicap plate (not placard) and they told us at the dmv just to wait til it was time to renew everything and we could get a new plate. We went to the State Fair and they forced us to park in the handicapped spots. He and I were both so embarrassed and parked as far away as we possibly could.

I don't get blogs like that. The shaming is just out of control.

[hermione]

I don't care who wears their kid or for how long they do it. But let's not pretend we don't mock people here all the time. Uneek names, anyone?