Crazy IL stories... share yours please

[80sjunkie]

I feel like there have been lots of posts about ILs lately. Anyone have crazy stories to share?

Mine aren't crazy but they are strange. Here's one of mine. First time I met FIL (at that time he was FFIL) I told him that two of my sisters live in NC. He said he drives around where they live on occasion and asked for their phone numbers so he could visit them. :-|

[mskitkat]

Crazy IL stories? Ha. FiL is a birther tea party nutcase who likes to pick fights screaming President Obama is a socialist. MiL is Born Again Evangelical the dinosaurs were on Noah's ark. And she is Chinese and expects me to act as if I were a Chinese DiL. She has told me Chinese women love their babies more when I said my mom didn't give up coffee during pregnancy. So many stories...

[thatgirl2478]

First Christmas I spent with IL's my FIL mooned me.

[mrs.spunky]

My ILs may do things differently than I would like, but they're nowhere near crazy IMO.

My ILs are very conservative politically, and I don't agree with their views all of the time, or even most of the time, but they are entitled to their opinion and their vote.
They are also rather rigid with regard to order and tradition. For instance, MIL has one day dedicated to laundry, another to ironing, another to cleaning the kitchen, etc. Dinner on Fridays is pizza from one specific place, birthday dinners are at one specific restaurant, etc, and if you ask to switch things up a little bit, you get the side eye.
For instance, there is a bakery in the town where we vacation that has these fried cinnamon buns - kinda like a cross between a cinnamon bun and a donut. Originally, these only came with a white icing/glaze, but a few years ago they started making them with a chocolate topping, kinda like the top of a Boston cream donut. My MIL thought it was the tragedy of all tragedies that I would dare try a chocolate topped bun, which I like a lot better than the vanilla version!

[badtzmaru22]

MIL once called me a bitch, to my face, and then literally ran away. She later wrote DH a massive email (five printed pages) about how we are alcoholics and I'm a narcissist, which I should look up the definition to (because I don't know what that means?) and a whole bunch of other things about how I'm controlling, and I think I'm better than them because they didn't go to college, basically her projecting everything miserable about her life onto us. We didn't talk to them for six months.

When I had a miscarriage, she kept saying how she just knew I was pregnant at Christmas (we saw her for about five minutes) and she kept going on and on about it. Then she wanted me to explain the d&c procedure to her.

FIL was telling a story at dinner about how he trapped a raccoon by their house, and didn't know how to dispose of it, so he "brought out his inner German" and gassed it.

They are lovely people...

[chessie]

First thanksgiving, i was walking back to the table and FIL took my seat next to DH..I had to share a table with complete strangers with DH's cousins since I was considered the new one.

[benitabutrell]

The first time I met MIL she was drunk and begged me to give her a haircut. I am not a hair stylist of any sort, which she is aware of.

A few weeks later I was at their house and FIL and SIL got into a wild screaming match ending with MH (then my BF) storming out of the house and telling them both to F-off.

At our first Christmas together, MIL informed me that MH was sterile and could not have children. We have a 3 y/o daughter now and conceived with no issues. Maybe they were trying to break us up, but I think it's more that they are just crazy drinkers.

[Deleted]

Thank god I did not actually marry my ex-fi but the first time I met his stepdad we were all at his parents' house for dinner. Afterwards everyone wanted to go into the hot tub. SD got in NAKED. I was like 20 years old. Mortified.

[Deleted]

Where to start...
First time I meet them I was wearing a red blouse. MIL said only hookers wear red.

Upon seeing me with fingernail polish, she told me I was going straight to hell.

The first time we went to their house, MIL told DH that if he would leave me they would welcome him back into the church (Amish Mennonite).

When we lost our first baby, she sent me a canning spoon (it's suppose to fit in the jars better), because now I would have more time for canning.

Seriously, I could go on and on...

[Deleted]

My in-laws are the definition of everything most people dislike, I could write an entire book about them. I do love them. I think they've changed a lot over the years, but some of the stuff they do is just senseless and insane. I'm trying to pick my battles.

[soleil]

So my DH proposed to me at Maggianos (I'm a sucker for their cheese ravioli). We did the whole classic pasta thing where you can order 1 and bring another home. I was so excited I didn't eat much, so I brought back my ravioli plus spaghetti.

We stayed the night at my DH's parents house that night. I wrote my name on both of my take out boxes and stuck 'em in the fridge.

Yep, in the morning I discovered Dh's mom, dad, and sister had devoured my engagement dinner. Every last morsel. My favorite ravioli ever. I was FURIOUS.

I pretty much threw the biggest tantrum ever (in my family, you never, ever, ever touch someone elses food).

They were embarrassed and felt terrible so they bought us a gifcard for a new meal. Also, they now send us a giftcard for Maggianos every year on our anniversary--I think I may have reacted a bit strongly, but its a funny story now.

Also, when we are actually there they steer far away from my food. Lol.

[gt7301b]

My MIL likes to talk about how she is famous in her field and tell you that she graduated from college in two years. It is hard to pretend to be impressed when she tells you about it for the 500th time. So I stopped. Well we got into a HUGE fight where she kept yelling at me and telling me she was impressive and asking why I wasn't impressed and why I couldn't give compliments.

And then she doesn't understand why I don't want to spend every weekend with them. (They also live three hours away)

[badtzmaru22]

I am just in the mood for this today, so I have another.

ILs broke up with their best friends of 30 years (and DH's godparents) because according to them, godfather had been in love with MIL the entire time, and was always coming onto her and trying to steal her from FIL. The final straw was when (allegedly) godfather invited FIL to go to Canada for the weekend to stay at the casino and get some hookers and pot.

[SJ]

I will get too riled up if I get started.

There are just so many instances of crazy.

[drloretta]

MIL isn't awful, she's just annoying. And DH feels the same way. She tells the same stories every time we see her, because she literally does nothing all day. And if anything happens, from someone getting a cold to a doctor visit, it's talked up like it's the greatest tragedy of all. GMIL is about to have a cyst removed from her back, and you'd think she was getting both legs amputated.

I would say the worst thing that ever happened was that MIL used to visit a psychic regularly. I think they're full of shit, but it's her $. She decided to drag us into her consultations, and called me the day my m/c was confirmed to tell me that "the psychic said you're going to have a good year." Followed by a psychic prediction that we'd do well financially--in 2008, as we saw our 401(k)s take a hit, and another psychic prediction that she'd be a grandma by Easter (we didn't adopt DD for another 2 years).

She is also heavily into tradition, but traditions that she makes up. She used to have waist-length hair, but decided she'd cut it when she got a grandchild. No pressure--DH is an only child and I have IF. She finally did cut it when DD was 9 months old. She sends us an anniversary gift every year (which I think is weird), and it has to be the traditional gift, or the modern version, or sometimes both. And the Christmas tradition of cramming almost 50 people into her mom's house for Christmas Eve (cue the chaos) will not be changed, since they've done it for 50+ years. We have chosen not to go anymore.

[ejpint]

When my H and I were dating, FIL gave us a lecture about "doin' it" and how we needed to be careful if we didn't want any babies out of wedlock. Um, we were 28 and 29, and buying a house together. H had already ordered my engagement ring. So awkward.

MIL loves to diagnose people with mental and emotional disorders and then tell other family members about it. Everyone in the family is very "sensitive", and she tells us all about how she reads about these things on the computer. One sister has been internet-diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, another anger issues, one brother must be depressed and still hung up on some girl from high school (I don't think either is true). She needs a hobby other than Dr. Google and WebMD.

[7costanza]

My FIL has no sense of appropriate behavior when at someone's house - he once sat on our couch, took off his shoes and socks, examined his feet for a few minutes, and then loudly inturrupted a conversation in the next room to tell MIL that his toenail fungus was getting better.

MIL is ok, but could be very controlling if we let her. Luckily my H doesn't listen to her directives, and I've learned to let her looks and condescending comments roll off my back.

[drloretta]

Aug 17, 2012 9:19:17 GMT -5 ejpint said:

MIL loves to diagnose people with mental and emotional disorders and then tell other family members about it. Everyone in the family is very "sensitive", and she tells us all about how she reads about these things on the computer. One sister has been internet-diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, another anger issues, one brother must be depressed and still hung up on some girl from high school (I don't think either is true). She needs a hobby other than Dr. Google and WebMD.

OMG, that's my MIL! Except she gets all her medical advice from Dr Oz. She's decided that GMIL has OCD and dementia. Because she keeps asking the same questions and can't remember all 45 of her family members' names. She's 86, BTW.

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2012 8:41:17 GMT -5 benitabutrell said:

The first time I met MIL she was drunk and begged me to give her a haircut. I am not a hair stylist of any sort, which she is aware of.

A few weeks later I was at their house and FIL and SIL got into a wild screaming match ending with MH (then my BF) storming out of the house and telling them both to F-off.

At our first Christmas together, MIL informed me that MH was sterile and could not have children. We have a 3 y/o daughter now and conceived with no issues. Maybe they were trying to break us up, but I think it's more that they are just crazy drinkers.

That made me LOL!

My IL's let their grandkids eat mud. That most likely also has manure in it.

I also get a washcloth as part of my gift on every holiday.

[hannamaren]

Aug 17, 2012 8:50:46 GMT -5 @ruralrabbit1 said:

Where to start...
First time I meet them I was wearing a red blouse. MIL said only hookers wear red.

Upon seeing me with fingernail polish, she told me I was going straight to hell.

The first time we went to their house, MIL told DH that if he would leave me they would welcome him back into the church (Amish Mennonite).

When we lost our first baby, she sent me a canning spoon (it's suppose to fit in the jars better), because now I would have more time for canning.

Seriously, I could go on and on...

Wtf! Canning spoon?!?

[jinnifah]

My IL's are pretty normal. But I'll never forget how one of the first times I spent the night at their house, they found 16yo BIL's weed stash.

The shouting started in BIL's room while Dh and I were in the living room watching tv. At one point BIL shouts "I'm a man I can do what I want!".

Next thing I know FIL is carrying BIL out of the room by the scruff of his neck while simultaneously kicking him in the butt (it was a rather amazing feat of contortion) yelling that if he was such a big man it was time for him to live on his own. He kicked him (literally) out the door and bolted it.

Note, IL's live kinda in the middle of nowhere and it was like 10pm, and October.

BIL eventually came back in the wee hours of the morning when he was cold and hungry and none of his friend's parents would take him in

[ijack]

my MIL once asked me (soon after my first was born) if my nipples leaked when I had an orgasm :/

[Mrs.Beagle]

Aug 17, 2012 9:36:49 GMT -5 ijack said:

my MIL once asked me (soon after my first was born) if my nipples leaked when I had an orgasm :/

+o( +o( +o( +o( +o(

[honeybee]

My FIL and MIL aren't bad. MIL is easy, FIL is a bit stubborn and opinionated but so am I so that's why we butt heads.

I also love my SIL for the most part....except when she feels the need to harp on the fact that we have a budget and she can't understand why. Like "budget" is a dirty secret that no one should have. Pretty much word for word it goes like this - Who in their right mind has a budget? Surely this is just to pay for the wedding? After you'll get rid of it right? Because really MY brother shouldn't have to live with a limited amount of spending money. I mean really, what do you even need a budget for?

yeah. Makes me want to hit her.

[badtzmaru22]

Aug 17, 2012 9:36:38 GMT -5 jinnifah said:

My IL's are pretty normal. But I'll never forget how one of the first times I spent the night at their house, they found 16yo BIL's weed stash.

The shouting started in BIL's room while Dh and I were in the living room watching tv. At one point BIL shouts "I'm a man I can do what I want!".

Next thing I know FIL is carrying BIL out of the room by the scruff of his neck while simultaneously kicking him in the butt (it was a rather amazing feat of contortion) yelling that if he was such a big man it was time for him to live on his own. He kicked him (literally) out the door and bolted it.

Note, IL's live kinda in the middle of nowhere and it was like 10pm

BIL eventually came home in the weee hours of the morning when none of his friend's parents would take him in.

LMAO!!!

[cajunmom]

I don't have a lot but I'll share a couple of things from my MIL.

When I was was pg with DD1 she wrote a letter and asked us to name the baby after her.

Right after DH and I got married she wrote us a letter (she's big on letters) and said that now that we were married, anything that we did together was ok...except for having sex with animals.

[soleil]

Hm, what are some other crazy stories?

There was the time where DH's mom lectured him when we were first dating that he should be sure we "wait until marriage" because it would make it oh so much more special for me. Lol.

We've had actually some serious issues with DH's family--his dad is an alcoholic, his mom is a classic enabler/martyr/gossipy type, and his siblings are bit messed up. We're currently cut off from them. DH is testing a relationship with his mom, not sure its going to pan out.

FIL likes to make "funny" racist jokes. One time he went on and on about all the things wrong with Polish people when DH interrupted him to inform him that I'm half Polish--but of course FIL was only joking!

[Becca]

My FIL claim to have invented Velcro and cellphones. One of the first family events I went to with his family was a picnic for Dh's niece's birthday. FIL picked up a stick, stuck it in my hair and twisted it into knots. He laughed hysterically when I asked him to stop.

I don't have enough time to get into all his insane antics. But, he is in his late 70's and I am fairly certain he is going senile, so I try (and often fail) to not let him get to me.

[honeybee]

Aug 17, 2012 9:54:15 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

Right after DH and I got married she wrote us a letter (she's big on letters) and said that now that we were married, anything that we did together was ok...except for having sex with animals.

:-|

[bella427]

At our rehearsal dinner, FIL threw my fully clothed brother into a pool as a "joke." It was the first time they'd met. And it's just gotten better from there. Sigh.