He is 15 and has friends that are 16 and 17. They are good kids, and I usually don't have a problem with him riding in their cars. Tonight they want to drive an hour away, on very windy, curvy back roads to watch some fireworks. It will be late and dark and I know there are a ton of drunks on the road on the 4th there.
We just had to say no. DH is in total agreement, he even mentioned it to his parents and they agreed. We've all been there and know what it's like on the 4th. Lots of drinking and no where near enough campsites.
But he is so mad at me. I can't believe the other parents are ok with this, but my gut just says no. If something happened I would never forgive myself.
I feel really bad for him, he has to come home while they all head out, but I just can't allow it. He doesn't usually do anything but play sports and get food with them, so I think this is the first time I've ever had to say no.
It's gonna be a long night with a really pissy teen.
I'm sorry he's upset but I would do exactly the same thing. A few years ago four teens were in a deadly car accident in almost the same exact scenario. So sad and way too scary.
I don't even have kids and I'd say no to that, hell I wouldn't want to drive that myself. Some day he'll get it, until then I hope your night/kid isn't too moody and irritable.
There is so much research that says 16 year olds do not have sense when it comes to driving--add that to others drinking, the windy road and late night? I'm totally with you.
Post by polarbearfans on Jul 4, 2015 17:15:47 GMT -5
I'm nervous to drive myself on holidays people usually drink. You are making the right decision. Even if the teens make good choices, the problem is the other people out driving. Too any drunk drivers on the 4th.
Post by thinkofthesoldiers on Jul 4, 2015 17:25:18 GMT -5
I don't like going out on the 4th as an adult (see also: Labor Day, Memorial Day, the night before Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and NYE). I wouldn't be a fan of my kids going out either.
Post by sapphireblue on Jul 4, 2015 17:29:19 GMT -5
I am sorry he's so mad and I hope you still have a good 4th--you absolutely made the right decision. I try never to drive on holidays like NYE for the same reason. Too many other drunks, even if I'm being responsible.
Plus teenage boys driving on a curvy road at night is scary to me minus the alcohol.
He will get over it and realize (though it may be years down the road!) that you were right and just looking out for him. I was a good kid, never got in trouble and kept good friends, but my parents had to say no to some of the things I asked to do. Pretty much all of them involved driving at night, long distances on tricky roads. I was so pissed in the moment, but looking back now, I totally get it and agree with them.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Jul 4, 2015 17:54:59 GMT -5
I'm with everyone else here, too. My son has always been at least a year younger than most of his friends just because of birthday cutoffs and school years and whatnot. It's so hard to balance keeping him safe with letting him grow. You know you are doing the right thing -- your job is to set safe boundaries for him, and his job is to fight that as hard as he can. Good jobs, penelope and penelopeson!
Just late night driving on the 4th would be enough for me to back out as an adult. No matter how good of a driver you or your friends are, you can't control other drunk drivers.
You did the right thing. I'm still salty with my parents about saying no to a couple parties when I was in high school, but deep down I know they were right. Even though they totally didn't know my lyfe.
Coming from a teen who had a lot more freedom than most, I always hated driving on holidays. My "friends" would go out and I'd be the responsible one. They never fully got it until years later and even now I'm like jersey shore traffic and drinks? No thanks, I'll be boring. I don't have kids, but I feel bad for my future spawn. penelope you did the right thing. It sounds like a set-up for an after school 90's style movie.
Thank you for affirming that I'm not being to strict. I really do appreciate it.
He actually mellowed out pretty quickly, and while I still feel bad, I am so grateful to have the kid I have. He said his friends told him to lie to me and just say that they were watching movies someplace. He told me he could never do that because when I found out the truth I would never trust him again.
That made me a little teary. He didn't understand that either, but someday he will get all of it....
Thank you for affirming that I'm not being to strict. I really do appreciate it.
He actually mellowed out pretty quickly, and while I still feel bad, I am so grateful to have the kid I have. He said his friends told him to lie to me and just say that they were watching movies someplace. He told me he could never do that because when I found out the truth I would never trust him again.
That made me a little teary. He didn't understand that either, but someday he will get all of it....