IL issue with SIL vs MIL vs H

[hannamaren]

We would like to go camping with our nieces. I am coordinating with my SIL (wife of my h's brother deceased) and she suggested it just be the 6 of us. Her and her 2 kids, my H, me and our baby. She doesnt love our MIL (this is common knowledge that we dont speak of) and to be nice, she said "it will be more fun just the 6 of us because there is a different dynamic when the number is small".

So I email my H (who really wanted to take them camping) to let him know that
I figured something out thinking he will be pleased. Instead he says that he cant imagine not asking his parents to come at least for a few hours (chances are we will be nearby). I dont understand this.
Cant we just go and do something without everyone? If they were all going camping, and we werent invited, we would get it.
Sorry just a small vent because it seems with my H family, there is always 10 of us.

Plus, this may be the only way my SiL agrees to go with us, and my H knows this so he should just stop trying to fix that and do something good for us.

[madringal]

I understand where he is coming from. My IL's would be really hurt if we were going camping with SIL, and all the grandkids were going to be in one place.

[ECB]

I would just tell him "If you want to go camping w/ them, then it needs to be w/o your parents. If you want to camp with your parents, then it will be w/o our neices. Your call".

Seriously, he needs to respect his SIL on this. You're right, it doesn't have to be ALL of you every time. If you'll be nearby his parents, your family can swing by and see them on the way home if it's that important that they "be included".

[Mrs.Beagle]

Would your ILs even want to go camping?

I would just tell DH no, you really just want it to be the 6 of you. You are entitled to do things with just siblings.

[hannamaren]

Sorry, they would swing by for a picnic for a few hours.
And we see them all together every weekend. We just came back from a family wedding where all of us were together for 5 days

[ECB]

Aug 17, 2012 9:37:49 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

And we see them all together every weekend. We just came back from a family wedding where all of us were together for 5 days

Even more so, you all can do ONE THING w/o them. I was wondering what the bigger picture is - does she never let them see the kids? But it doesn't sound like it. And it sounds like that as she doesn't really care for them all that much, she wants ONE event to not be about them.

Again, I don't see why your DH can't respect that. His parents being grandparents doesn't give them special "rights" that they MUST be included when all the grandkids are included. They are usually included - so one time w/o them won't kill them.

[Deleted]

I'd tell him it's a sibling thing. We do stuff all the time without my parents and they are totally cool with it. Like PP said, who goes camping for "a few hours" anyway? I'd just go visit them some other time.

[Deleted]

I agree with you and your sil. He should respect her wishes or be prepared to go camping without her and his nieces.

[lys]

How do your IL's even know you are going camping? Much less camping with SIL? Just keep your mouths shut and it will work out.

[macmars45]

Aug 17, 2012 9:32:02 GMT -5 nuggetbrain said:

And who goes camping "for a few hours"?

Growing up my whole extended family on my dad's side would go camping together for a week. (All aunts/uncles & cousins.) My grandparents would come up for a day to hang out with us all, but not stay overnight. Maybe it's something similar to that?

[SJ]

100% on Team You/SIL.

All of our parents are HAPPY when we do things with our siblings without them- they like to see that the relationships are self-sustaining. Either way, it's one weekend and it sounds like you see them ALL THE TIME.