What to do about this bridal shower?

[shamrockshake]

I'd just give money, cause it's easy and I'm lazy

[trafficgirl]

I almost never give a gift off the registry, unless I think there's a high likelihood the person receiving the gift will love it (or as part of a gift that does come from the registry).

But I'm also lazy like shamrockshake and like the idea of giving money and being done with it.

[cville]

Everyone wants money. Fact.

[Mrs.Rad888]

I'd do the gift card. I see registries as suggestions, and sometimes I choose not to take that suggestion. I'm assuming that you're still planning on sending a wedding gift; I'd send the check then. I didn't think a shower was a cash-gift giving event.

[cabbagecabbage]

I'd skip the shower because I'd always resent that shady crap. Maybe send her monogrammed trinket later, just because.

[specialk]

It is tacky to have a shower and ask for money, but I would just give them the money. They've basically already told you they aren't going to like anything else you get lol. Besides, there isn't that much of a difference between a gift card and a check except that for the gift card, you have to go out of your way and they can't use it for whatever they want. Do you really care if they buy hand towels with the money?

[cville]

Jul 6, 2015 15:41:41 GMT -5 cabbagecabbage said:

I'd skip the shower because I'd always resent that shady crap. Maybe send her monogrammed trinket later, just because.

Just leave a flaming bag of poo on her doorstep while you're at it. And slash that bitch's tires.


She didn't send a "gimme cash" note with a wedding invite, ffs. The SISTER sent a link to the registry for a SHOWER. It's a gift giving event. And, REGIONAL ALERT, there is nothing tacky about giving cash for a wedding/shower present. It's not weird. It may be unusual for YOU, but cash is a fairly typical wedding related gift.

[latte]

I might do a date night gift, so some kind of experience or event that they can to do together.

[circa1978]

I'd just do it. I just can't get it up for that stuff any more.

[sterl724]

This is weird to me, too.

I almost always give a monetary gift for the actual wedding. I get not attending a destination wedding, so wanting to do a shower instead. That seems totally normal to me. I also get not registering if you don't need much, and have been living on your own as an adult for awhile. I've had several friends do this ("Hey, we have two of everything already, so we're skipping a shower!").

But not needing it, not registering because you don't need it, and then having the shower (where the only option is money) is weird to me as well.

Could you maybe contact the person throwing the shower and ask if there is anything specific they might want? Or maybe go on etsy and get a cute sign/decor for the house with their names? (Like "Last Name...Established 2015). Something like that they could use, probably don't have, and wouldn't be just cash?

[charley]

I would get a gift card and tie it to a bottle of champagne with a pretty ribbon and call it a day.

[knx9211]

This is weird and I don't like it, but I'd probably just show up with money and a smile. And booze. For myself.

[pixy0stix]

I'd give them a stack of $1s.

[cville]

Maybe she wanted a shower because she wanted to celebrate a life event with friends? Maybe her sister wanted to dp something nice for her?


God. What a FAMILY OF FREAKS.



I didn't even HAVE a shower and I think half of you are off your rockers.

[Deleted]

Jul 6, 2015 15:48:36 GMT -5 aeg511 said:

I'd probably lure a squirrel with some bread, and give her a fun new pet!

You are cordially invited to Fuckstick's bridal shower in 19 days. 

[speckledfrog]

I'd just give her cash. I just don't have any fucks to give about asking for money.

[underwaterrhymes]

People get so bitchy about this stuff.

If it's your friend, give her what she wants. Jesus.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

I'd give money bc EASY

[dexteroni]

I would just give money. As I get older, there are some etiquette breaches I won't abide, and some I don't give a shit about anymore, and this falls into the latter category.

If you really can't bring yourself to give money, give a GC to a store or restaurant you know she likes. I wouldn't give an actual gift, only because I would feel like it was sending a "screw you and your request" message. That might be appropriate in some instances, but I wouldn't choose to go that route here.

[specialk]

Jul 6, 2015 15:49:44 GMT -5 cville said:

Maybe she wanted a shower because she wanted to celebrate a life event with friends? Maybe her sister wanted to dp something nice for her?


God. What a FAMILY OF FREAKS.



I didn't even HAVE a shower and I think half of you are off your rockers.

Like....a wedding reception?

I don't begrudge the girl her shower, but it does seem odd to have people watch her open a bunch of envelopes. That being said, I would still go and just bring her cash but it is kind of strange.

[cabbagecabbage]

Hey, everyone has etiquette issues that trip them up and monetary gift demands are my issue. I own it. I resent it and would probably decline if I felt the invite bugged me.

The mongramed thing was tongue in cheek. I wouldn't actually do that.

[revolution]

Would I rather give an actual gift, probably. But, really, what's the difference if I spend $100 on a gift or just give her $100. Either way, I'm out $100 and get to celebrate with my friend so I guess I don't see why it matters what form it goes to her. I'm also old and tired so there is an added bonus of not having to do anything aside from buying a card and writing a check. And then eating cake.

[meggers5]

I'm moving to a new country, so while I registered, I almost only got cash, which I opened after the shower.

Sometimes you do what works.

I'm past caring.

[Deleted]

Do you or don't you like this person?

[cville]

Jul 6, 2015 15:52:39 GMT -5 specialk said:

Jul 6, 2015 15:49:44 GMT -5 cville said:

Maybe she wanted a shower because she wanted to celebrate a life event with friends? Maybe her sister wanted to dp something nice for her?


God. What a FAMILY OF FREAKS.



I didn't even HAVE a shower and I think half of you are off your rockers.

Like....a wedding reception?

I don't begrudge the girl her shower, but it does seem odd to have people watch her open a bunch of envelopes. That being said, I would still go and just bring her cash but it is kind of strange.

Maybe she'll just...drink mimosas and NOT ACTUALLY OPEN ANYTHING.

Fyi, should I ever marry again ain't none of you bitches invited to my shower.

[Deleted]

This place has me so paranoid about being "gift grabby" that I didn't even want to put registry information in with the invitations.

[speckledfrog]

Jul 6, 2015 15:54:30 GMT -5 cville said:

Jul 6, 2015 15:52:39 GMT -5 specialk said:

Like....a wedding reception?

I don't begrudge the girl her shower, but it does seem odd to have people watch her open a bunch of envelopes. That being said, I would still go and just bring her cash but it is kind of strange.

Maybe she'll just...drink mimosas and NOT ACTUALLY OPEN ANYTHING.

Fyi, should I ever marry again ain't none of you bitches invited to my shower.

Hey, I will bring CASH, okay?!

[olegregg]

I'd just give the money. You may as well give them what they need and want, not something you want them to have.

[sterl724]

Jul 6, 2015 15:51:49 GMT -5 @esquirefish said:

Jul 6, 2015 15:46:03 GMT -5 sterl724 said:

This is weird to me, too.

I almost always give a monetary gift for the actual wedding. I get not attending a destination wedding, so wanting to do a shower instead. That seems totally normal to me. I also get not registering if you don't need much, and have been living on your own as an adult for awhile. I've had several friends do this ("Hey, we have two of everything already, so we're skipping a shower!").

But not needing it, not registering because you don't need it, and then having the shower (where the only option is money) is weird to me as well.

Could you maybe contact the person throwing the shower and ask if there is anything specific they might want? Or maybe go on etsy and get a cute sign/decor for the house with their names? (Like "Last Name...Established 2015). Something like that they could use, probably don't have, and wouldn't be just cash?

This was sort of my thinking. I get doing a shower, since the wedding is out of the country, and plenty of people can celebrate at the shower that can't make the actual wedding. Normally at a wedding I would give cash, and at a shower a gift.  

Maybe I will ask the sister where they are doing the HM and see of I can get them something to do there (like a cabana rental or something cool like that).

I would have loved something like that on our honeymoon! 

Maybe see where the actual wedding is. Maybe the hotel/resort there would have something you could "upgrade" for them? Or book a dinner on the beach? I know a lot of resorts in Mexico have that option as well.

[snipsnsnails]

I've never heard of giving cash at a shower. That is odd to me. If you want to give a gift that can be opened, I'd do it. It is weird to think she's just going to open envelopes at the shower. Were you planning on sending a separate cash gift for the wedding, even though you can't attend? Maybe that's why they put the hard press on giving money at the shower?

I dunno - the whole thing is kind of weird, tradition-wise.