So I have a friend who posted this this morning Sanctimomy Article with a caption like " I feel like I am being judged all the time. As long as your kid isn't a serial killer you are doing fine"
GREAT RIGHT?
Except this particular friend is SUPER JUDGY.
She has actually said the following things.
- Daycare makes kids have attachment issues - Mom's whose kids won't eat what they are served are lazy - You should FORCE your kid to eat dinner, whatever you serve, every night - Mom's who don't serve all organic free range food are lazy. - You should spend almost as much on meat as on rent each month - Mom's who DON'T lose all of their baby weight are lazy - She's a " strict Mom" so her kid will grow up without weight issues.
Post by Queen Mamadala on Jul 8, 2015 10:03:05 GMT -5
Nope, not really. I mostly share funny things my kids say or do, and share articles here and there, mostly about toddlerhood (terrible 3s) or articles on scarymommy.
And ditto @marshmallows on the religious statuses.
I have a friend who regularly shares posts a blog called elevating childcare or something like that.
The ideas are pretty extreme. Like potty training should be %100 child led with no leading or encouragement from the parents at all. Or that you should ask your child before touching them every single time even from infancy. It's ridiculous.
Yes, Janet Lansbury. I posted about her here once, a few people follow her. I find most very extreme, it is super attachment parenting and gentle parenting. Not my thing
Yeah, that's the one. I try not judge the parenting decisions of others, even my friend who follows Janet Lansbury and is rather extreme. But I admit I judge this blog.
The asking your children permission to touch them every single time is supposed to teach them bodily autonomy, but I can't see any way that isn't going to backfire. What happens when your two year old really needs a diaper change and says no to your requests to do so? Either you change the diaper, showing your child that you can override their bodily autonomy, and it's so much worse because you asked and then showed your child that her answer doesn't really matter. Or you let said child sit in their own waste indefinitely. It's such bad advice.
Then someone commented on her potty training post about how that %100 child led potty training won't work for a lot of people. She responded that if that doesn't work for them then do something else. That there are a lot of ways to parent and none are better than the others. Right. Because calling your blog Elevating Child Care totally doesn't indicate that you think that your way of parenting is better.
I have a friend who ALWAYS has a countdown going to when they will be kid free. "67 days until we take our kid free vacation to Austin." And then the very day they return, "42 days until our kid free trip to Cincy." The day they return from that, "19 days until Grandma gives us a kid free weekend." It's really weird.
One time my BFF responded, "Do you ever have a countdown to something kid friendly?" She got unfriended.
ETA: This probably doesn't meet the sanctimommy definition and is instead just a mom being FB annoying.
Post by granthamite on Jul 8, 2015 10:56:43 GMT -5
Yes! One of the reasons I deactivated my Facebook account recently. I got tired of it all. Between Scary Mommy, the sanctimommies, and general fakeness, I'd had enough.
Oh yeah and she fat shamed me once too. In front of an entire birthday party.
And you're still friends because ... ?? I don't mean to be snarky, I just feel like common human decency says you don't treat a stranger like that, much less a friend. I'm sorry that happened to you.
OMG, reading through these posts makes me wonder if I am a sancti-mommy? I rarely post anything bad about DD for a few reasons... I promise my life isn't perfect! I just don't tend to share the bad with the world.
Oh yeah and she fat shamed me once too. In front of an entire birthday party.
And you're still friends because ... ?? I don't mean to be snarky, I just feel like common human decency says you don't treat a stranger like that, much less a friend. I'm sorry that happened to you.
I'm avoiding. My H has a pretty small social circle so I try not to cut people 100 percent out unless I have to.
I have a friend who keeps on posting memes about what it means to be a mother, the sacrifices, etc. several times a week. Here's the weird thing...she has never posted a pic of her kid. She has even posted family pro pics and cut off the baby. Which is fine if she cared about privacy or something but she posts pics of her nephew who lives with her almost every single day. "Here's cutie at the store, here he is eating dinner". I think it is super weird. Almost like she's passing off her nephew as her kid. I wonder why all the time. Is it because he's a boy and she has a girl?
Ok so I looked around her fb page some more and she posted a pic of "her baby" at 10 months old because people requested a recent pic. Only, it's a pic of a random baby that comes up on pinterest from 3 years ago. super f-ing creepy...
OMG, reading through these posts makes me wonder if I am a sancti-mommy? I rarely post anything bad about DD for a few reasons... I promise my life isn't perfect! I just don't tend to share the bad with the world.
I don't post really bad things about my kids either. I don't expect it to be all good things 100% of the time.
Sanctimommy and anti-sanctimommy (ha!) are definite types. Throwing up a cute kid at the park pic isn't that type.
It was also kind of the point of my OP. I don't think it's okay to share all the bad with the world. Limits. Common sense. Usual jazz. You know.
Post by cincodemayo on Jul 8, 2015 11:43:43 GMT -5
I have 2 that I keep around for the hate read.
One is always talking about her and her H just can't bear to put those CHEMICAL diapers on their precious baby's booty and that she is a no-sugar Mama and all this other shit. She also wrote a long post about her 2nd birth being a c-section due to previa and how devastated she would be to have that and future babies CUT FROM HER BODY instead of the natural birth she knew she could handle. OK.
Not of FB, but I have a friend who seems to really not enjoy parenting and it can bring me down sometimes
I work with a girl like this. It's so draining. And she spends all day with other people's kids besides....ummmm.......
I'm not saying every minute of my parenting day is filled with sunshine and love or that I never b*tch about my kids either but there has to be something good about today!
So I have a friend who posted this this morning Sanctimomy Article with a caption like " I feel like I am being judged all the time. As long as your kid isn't a serial killer you are doing fine"
GREAT RIGHT?
Except this particular friend is SUPER JUDGY.
She has actually said the following things.
- Daycare makes kids have attachment issues - Mom's whose kids won't eat what they are served are lazy - You should FORCE your kid to eat dinner, whatever you serve, every night - Mom's who don't serve all organic free range food are lazy. - You should spend almost as much on meat as on rent each month - Mom's who DON'T lose all of their baby weight are lazy - She's a " strict Mom" so her kid will grow up without weight issues.
I have a friend who bitches about sanctimommies and makes fun of parents who might go out of their way to do something cute for their kid's nursery, celebrate a holiday with a baby who doesn't know better, or heaven forbid, post anything about proper car seat usage. But then she's all like "No one should judge other parents, ever!"
Oookay. Then stop posting the things you're posting. Because you're being judgy.
Post by starburst604 on Jul 8, 2015 12:39:21 GMT -5
I deleted one who was a Sanctimommy Beachbody Coach. "I'm SO blessed to have a career that allows me to stay home with my baby instead of sticking her in day care! Do you want to learn how you can be more present in your child's life!" Followed by the requisite "fitmom/girlboss" type hashtags. And my answer to that is no, and Shakeology tastes like something shat it out.
My cousin is on my facebook and she is totally a Sanctimommy. I have her hidden because I couldn't handle "how beautiful her life is". She is a wannabe photographer (her main job is raising her kids at home of course). Her current profile photo is of her pregnant with her third child standing in front of a sunlit window in her bra and underwear with the caption like "creating life is the best job you can have".
She is also always posting articles about how crappy others are raising their children (too much tv, eating non-organic food, etc) and her statuses are things like "I wish people would care about their children, there was a poor child at the playground today who looked like he hadn't washed his face in days. It only takes 3 seconds to get a napkin!"
Post by jeaniebueller on Jul 8, 2015 12:41:53 GMT -5
Yes, I have a few. One regularly posts things like "Noone realizes how hard it is to stay at home with two young children!!!!" and another regularly posts a bunch of drama mongering statuses about GMOs and organic food along the lines of "if you REALLY cared about your child's health, you would eat all organic!!!!"
Post by scribellesam on Jul 8, 2015 12:48:56 GMT -5
I have one intense sanctimony on FB who is so convinced that she is raising her genius children in the most superior way possible. Anti-vax, obsessively Paleo, "unschooler", elimination communication - you name the obnoxious parenting decision, she is making it and then she is posting articles about how it is the superior way to be. I am amused by her crazy so we remain social media friends.
Another HS friend and her husband constantly bitch about parenting and their children. They are not amusing, I often consider unfriending or not following but their son has CF so I like to stay updated on his health.
Eh....I have one that borders it but I think she holds back.
She's the mother of twin 2 year boys and a 6 months old boy. Her whole life on FB is about her children, so we hear it all the time. From congratulating herself for making it through a shopping trip with all 3 to bitching about people taking the double carts at Target who don't deserve it. Her posts sort of grate on you after awhile. I can easily hide her on FB but I just tend to graze past her posts. It would be nice if she posted about something not related to her being a mother all the time. She was a lot of fun pre-kids.