WWYD Poll: Shy Kid and Preschool

[ktw]

My DD has always been shy and wary of people she doesn't know. She won't let anyone get too close to her aside from my husband and me, my parents, and occasionally FIL or our siblings and their spouses. It seems like she's getting even more shy lately, she'll yell "big hug" or "go home" (meaning she wants to go home, not telling the other person to go home) if anybody gets too close to her, even other kids at the park or our friends' kids who want to play with her. She may also be going through a scared phase, as she seems to be afraid of everything lately, including things that did not bother her previously.

We're debating about putting her in 2 year old preschool for next school year (she'll turn 2 on 8/9). I don't think kids "need" preschool at 2 years old, but I wonder if it would be good for her to be exposed to other kids and adults in a controlled setting a few times a week. On the other hand, I'm afraid she (and I) will be traumatized when I try to leave her at school, and maybe we should give her another year to mature before we attempt it. She'll definitely be going to preschool at 3.

I work part time right now, so she's home with me two days a week, and with my mom the other three days. I do take her out to the park, aquarium, music class at the library, etc... I definitely think being shy is part of her personality, and I'm not trying to change that.  Would you put her in preschool at 2 to give her exposure to other people, or would you hold off until she's 3?

[countthestars]

How long of a day is preschool? She sounds a lot like my daughter who actually really thrives at daycare despite being a barnacle when she's with me (or H). I think I would probably give preschool a try assuming it's a half day/couple of days per week.

[ktw]

Jul 8, 2015 9:15:57 GMT -5 countthestars said:

How long of a day is preschool? She sounds a lot like my daughter who actually really thrives at daycare despite being a barnacle when she's with me (or H). I think I would probably give preschool a try assuming it's a half day/couple of days per week.

I have the option of 2 days or 3 days a week from 9:15-12. I'll probably do the 2 day option to ease her in. That's good to know about your daughter, as I think they're very close in age, as well.

[CloudBee]

This would be 100% a financial decision.

If I had the funds, sure, preschool it is. If things were tight, I would hold off until 3.

[countthestars]

Jul 8, 2015 9:18:11 GMT -5 ktw said:

Jul 8, 2015 9:15:57 GMT -5 countthestars said:

How long of a day is preschool? She sounds a lot like my daughter who actually really thrives at daycare despite being a barnacle when she's with me (or H). I think I would probably give preschool a try assuming it's a half day/couple of days per week.

I have the option of 2 days or 3 days a week from 9:15-12. I'll probably do the 2 day option to ease her in. That's good to know about your daughter, as I think they're very close in age, as well.

They are! DD just turned 2 last week. I think I would do the two days. If it's really terrible, can you pull her? I would wait it out for at least a month of two before doing so but it's nice to know it's an option if it's really needed.

My DD isn't crazy outgoing at "school" and she's often playing alone when we get there to pick her up, but she seems happy and talks a lot about her friends and who she claims she played with every day.

[drloretta]

I would give it a shot, let them know about her personality, and give it some time. She may actually thrive in this type of environment.

[cinco]

I sent my older two kids at 3, and my youngest at 2. All are fine. I don't view 2 year old preschool as necessary, but it was sure nice for me My oldest was really shy when she started at 3. She didn't talk in class for months, but she still had fun. I wouldn't worry too much. The teachers have experiences with all types of kids.

ETA: the once shy 3 year old is almost 9, and the most outgoing of my kids now. You never know!

[coleyv]

I would start her this year and see how it goes. My dd is also shy and it was definitely an adjustment when she started at around 15 months. She loves school now and gets along really well with the other kids.

[speckledfrog]

I'd wait another year.

[curbsideprophet]

I would put her in now for three days a week. DD is shy and I think daycare has been great for her.

[aspentosh]

DD was very shy and preschool helped her a lot. We started when she was 2.5yo (birthday 1/18) and it was great for her. She is in a few camps this summer and she loves meeting new people now. I attribute that to preschool.

[polarbearfans]

I would start her. I was a very shy kid when my family was around, like wouldn't talk to anyone and very uncomfortable. But at daycare/preschool I was a leader and quickly made friends. It helped that we would do group activities that helped me get to know other kids.

The short hours and just a couple days sounds perfect for easing her into time with people other than family.

[imojoebunny]

I put my outgoing, well socialized DD in preschool at 2.4 because I needed her to go. They had to pry her off me for 4 months. I enrolled my doesn't like other kids much, barnacle of a son at 3, with no issues. If you need it for you, send her, if you don't, give her another year. There is no wrong answer, but I have not seen any evidence where starting formal school at 2 vs. 3 makes a difference for kids who receive standard/ normal family support and care.

[Alyssa]

My son can be real shy.  I put him in preschool 1 year ago this month, he turned 3 this past March.  So when he started preschool he was 2 years, 4 months.

I think he has done real well.  He really has gotten attached to "Teacher Junie."  He loves Teacher Junie and she is an A+++ when it comes to working with little kids.  She is just awesome.  Very warm and talkative, one of those types of people who ould easily make conversation with total strangers.  So right away, you know she's going to be great with little kids.

My son was real sad when we first dropped him off and even today, he was sort of sad when I left him....other days he has no problem with me leaving.  But you know what, the staff there are wonderful with kids who are not happy to be left behind.  They will pick them up and have them wave out the window at you as you walk out to your car.  Any time he has been sad there, they usually tell me that almost as soon as I'm gone, he peps up.  If not, one of the staff members will hold him while they look after the other kids.



Maybe stop by the preschool one day and ask if you could stand and observe the class for 15-20 minutes.  They let me do that with my son.  I brought him by and watched how he did with the other kids. I think it's really imporant to expose children to new environments and people.  Have them learn to follow rules not set by you or the grandparents.  I think it's also good for them to learn how to be around other children in a classroom and not just a park setting. They learn that they need to share, and that  what it means to stand in a line before they can go outside. Little things like that which we don't tend to do at home.

It is the hardest thing to do, leaving them at preschool for the first time with someone who seems like a stranger to you you.  I had a lump in my throat the first time I left my daughter when she first started preschool and I kept my phone right next to me just in case they called for me to come get her.....the phone never rang.