Help me not give up on breastfeeding

[simpsongal]

It gets better with more practice (for him). If you're really losing your sanity, I would pump more and use bottles.

Hugs - nursing is hard but you're doing a great job!

[linz]

My twins were born at 33 weeks. DD came home when she was 37 and she took forever to eat even from a bottle. I EP'd so feeding them plus pumping was all I did. I will say when she was about 3 months old it finally clicked and that girl can drink just as fast as her brother. So give it time.

If you want to pump and bottle feed that is fine. Many mom's are able to nurse later so don't feel like if it doesn't work now you can't try again.

[curbsideprophet]

It does get better, hang in there.

DD had latch issues and the early days were really hard. DH did all diaper changes for the first two weeks. In the middle of the night he would change her then bring her to me so I did not need to get out of bed.

[lilac05]

I just want to echo everyone else. The first few weeks are so, SO hard. Growth spurts suck the life out of you, and always threw me into a panic of feeling like I didn't have enough milk. Unless baby stops gaining weight or doesn't have enough wet diapers, trust that your body is taking care of the baby.

This is not what life will look like for the next year. Growth spurts pass relatively quickly (though in the moment, it certainly doesn't feel like it!) and babies get much more efficient. With both boys, I moved more to feeding on a schedule rather than on demand. I couldn't handle all of the nursing for comfort. I found other (equally successful) ways to soothe the baby and used my boobs only for feeding. I made it 18 months with DS1 & DS2 is almost 2 & still nursing. I would have quit MUCH sooner if I had to make my boobs available every time baby needed comfort.

The lip tie may very well be affecting the latch! The tongue tie is more important in actually getting the milk out of the breast, but the lip tie could be limiting his latch, too.

Hang in there. It really does get SO much better. During rough times, I just repeated "this, too, shall pass" over and over and over!

[dulcemariamar]

You got this! It will get so much better.

That said I did combo feed the first 6-8 weeks. My DD had severe jaundice so she was given a lot of formula the first two weeks in the hospital and then we continued to give her formula about twice a day at home so I could get a break.

[Deleted]

Try to find ways to make it suck less to be stuck all day. Tell DH to go buy you a bunch of your favorite snacks. Keep a water bottle and your phone and the TV remote all in a pile. Experiment with nursing pillows, and maybe even with side-lying nursing (some people can't do it with a newborn, but I made it work with creative pillow placement). Laid-back nursing.

You're in the thick of it, and you're doing great, and THIS... this isn't what people are talking about when they talk about nursing for years. This is something you'll forget as the shittiness fades away. It's okay that you hate this.

[luv2rn4fun]

So many ((hugs)) You've got this mama and are doing a great job!

The early days are SOOOO hard but it does get better! It feels like all you do is feed. Also, C had a tongue tie and feeding got much better once it was clipped (luckily on Day 2).

He's 6 1/2 months old and I absolutely LOVE breastfeeding now...I had a very hard day in the beginning but now get sad thinking that this will end someday soon (likely will wean at 1 year to start TTC again).

Hang in there! You really are at the worst of it right now...a week or two from now and it will be even better and only go up from there!

[pugz]

I don't have any real advice but wanted to offer you lots of hugs. My daughter was born at 35 weeks and 5 days and the first month was so fucking hard. She did wake up a bit once she hit her due date.

[lurknomore]

Jul 8, 2015 13:37:50 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

I remember 2 days where alllll I did was sit on the couch and feed her. I remember handing her to my H and crying. I found the nipple cream samples that I got and bought allllll of the breast things to arrive within 2 days. I didn't even need any of it, because the growth spurt was over by time it all came in!

After I got through that, it was basically a cakewalk. Her sessions shortened up pretty quickly from there on.

Keep at it and know it only gets better from here!!! You can do it!

My pedi said one of the best things you can do during a growth spurt (or anytime you need to) is to camp yourself and the baby out in bed.  Watch TV.  Relax and let the baby nurse all day if she needed to.  If you can tolerate the pain (send your DH to Target...these things were a lifesaver with DD1) just do that.  Don't worry about dishes, the dog, etc.  Just take care of you and the baby!

Also, if he's still looking for more, has your LC checked your supply (I didn't read all the responses!)?  If you had an ounce of pumped milk then it sounds like you're in a great place.  But I had low supply with all three kids and they were constantly suckling for more.  Just something to consider.  Can you have the LC do a weighted feed to see how much he's getting?

[undecidedowl]

I wish I could show new mom's what it's like on "the other side." Knowing how much better things would get is the only thing that got me through the early days with DS2. Just know, better days are coming. If he is gaining well and your pain is decreasing you are well on your way.

Breastfeeding a newborn SUCKS and is nothing at all like breastfeeding a slightly older baby. Damn those tiny inefficient newborn mouths!

[heygrey]

Just adding my support! R had a tongue tie corrected at 4 weeks and it was HELL before that. Not so much pain, but he'd nurse for 60-90 minutes, I'd get a 30 minute break and he'd be rooting again. He had a shallow latch so it took forever to get enough milk in him. The tie correction helped immensely. He does have a lip tie that we didn't correct mostly because we didn't see it back then. by the time I really suspected it things were improved enough that I didn't care to pursue it.

6 weeks was the biggest turning point. After that growth spurt things continually improved and I remember pausing every two weeks or so and maveling at how much easier it was. Not easy, but easier

I wish I could give you a real hug, but a virtual one will have to do. You will get through this and in a year you'll be the one doling out newborn advice to a new mom

[mrsjrd23]

You are doing great!

If baby is already back to birth weight, I wouldn't wake him up at night to feed every 2 hours. Let him guide when he is truly hungry. If he is making enough wet diapers, you are good! And like others said, it's normal for feedings to take a while in the beginning - you are both learning something new. It does get better.

Also, if you feel like you need to, I suggest seeking out a new LC to see what ideas they may have to help with the latch. With DS, I went through seriously 5 lactation consultants before I found the one that helped the most. She is amazing and the only one I went to with DD after we left the hospital. Not one of the hospital LC's was able to say much other than try the football hold or cross body or pump after the feeding because baby lost x% of their body weight. One session with my amazing LC and she immediately realzied that DD had tight neck muscles that was making her have problems reaching to latch properly in the football or cross body position. A little modifcation and baby latches so much better now.

Big Hugs to you. My DD is 12 days old so I'm in the same haze of emotions and stress as you. PM me if you need to talk.

[starburst]

Jul 8, 2015 14:51:45 GMT -5 lurknomore said:

My pedi said one of the best things you can do during a growth spurt (or anytime you need to) is to camp yourself and the baby out in bed.  Watch TV.  Relax and let the baby nurse all day if she needed to.  If you can tolerate the pain (send your DH to Target...these things were a lifesaver with DD1) just do that.  Don't worry about dishes, the dog, etc.  Just take care of you and the baby!

Also, if he's still looking for more, has your LC checked your supply (I didn't read all the responses!)?  If you had an ounce of pumped milk then it sounds like you're in a great place.  But I had low supply with all three kids and they were constantly suckling for more.  Just something to consider.  Can you have the LC do a weighted feed to see how much he's getting?

The LC does do weighted feedings. When I'm there and she helps me get him latched on properly, he can get enough milk, though it does take a while. So she thinks my supply is fine, it's just a matter of him latching correctly so he can be more efficient. 

[speyedr]

It does get better but right now it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are 3 weeks in and it's so much better than it was even a week ago. Granted DD was born at 38+5 so we didn't have the size and latch issues, but hang in there. Things will start looking up and I hope soon!

[pinotgrig]

Oh starburst - big hugs. You are in the middle of the absolute worst when it comes to bf'ing. I posted something so similar to this around the same time. G was nursing for 20 minutes per side every 2-3 hours. So by the time he "finished" eating, it was time to start again. I would cry when it was time to start because I was in so much pain and cry when it was over because it meant I got only a short break before starting again. I have been there.

On a happier note, we stuck it out and are still going strong at almost 13 months. This will pass. He will grow and learn how to nurse more efficiently and you will learn and adjust right along with him. His stomach is so small right now - it's emptying almost as fast as you can fill it. Remembering that "why" was helpful for me.

A few thoughts -
1. Have you tried a paci? Or let him suck on your finger?
2. Consider bf your job right now. Start a new series on Netflix and park it on the couch.
3. Eat and drink a lot. A LOT. You need the calories and water to make milk.

Know that this will pass. It will not last forever. You're doing a fantastic job! DS is lucky to have you as his mom.

[Blue Moon]

You're doing great! You are in the hardest part now and it will get SO much better. If baby is back to birth weight, that's a good indication that he's getting plenty. If you can't manage to pump after every feeding, maybe every other is a more attainable goal? Is someone helping you during the day so they could take the baby while you pump? My daughter took a bottle of pumped milk at 3 weeks every day because I needed a break and at least a 3 hour block of sleep. It didn't hurt our breastfeeding relationship.

[lolo]

My bfing class shared that the most common day to stop bfing was 14 days pp. That really stuck with me, especially as that was one of the hardest times for me. DD's tongue tie was revised at 2w also.

[starburst]

Jul 8, 2015 23:08:19 GMT -5 neener said:

This was true for me. At around 11 days I was sobbing in my chair while DS screamed at my breast. He had never latched and my pedi was pushing me to just keep trying. It was awful. I was debating just never trying again - I had seen the LC, tried all the tricks, and was just sick of pumping and failing to get him to nurse when he would suck a bottle down with no problem.

I saw a different LC at 14 days - a last ditch effort before I gave up on nursing and accepted pumping and supplementing and a light went off - he latched! He is almost 4 months now and I am so glad I kept trying. It was painful for the next 2 weeks as he learned what to do, but it got better and I love that he nurses and he'll take the occasional bottle of formula or pumped milk when I am out. Like @littlemoxie said, it really doesn't have to be all or nothing!

Was there something different that the second LC had you do?

[sparkythelawyer]

Also, keep going to support group meetings. I had a GREAT experience going to one at the local hospital. I had gone to the LC at the hospital the day before, and of COURSE the LC could get 1 week old Sparkybaby to latch and feed like a champ, but I swear for a while she was like the car making an intermittent noise - take her to the mechanic, and the noise stops, right? So I got home from the LC appointment, and couldn't replicate the successful feeding I had at the LC's office. Looked for support groups in my area. Found one meeting at a neighboring hospital the next morning. Off we went. It ended up being me, one other new mom, and an LC. So, basically another private session with an LC. That second visit fixed things for real. Having that second chance to say, "OK HOW do I do this again?" really helped. Keep going to as many as you need. If nothing else, you'll get one good feeding in that day! And you'll get out of the house!

Don't worry about pumping after each feeding at this point, it will just drive you crazy (well, it drove me crazy anyway). If you are engorged, or would feel more secure knowing there were several ounces ready to go in the fridge, pump a couple of times a day. I get my best results in the morning, So I'd pump like an hour after the first morning feed, then once in the afternoon. I never got much out of pumping at night unless I was totally engorged.

And I know the rule is 2-3 hours from when the feed started, but I did 2-3 hours from when the feed ended unless she was putting up hunger cues. It buys everyone a little time to calm down, nap, shower, etc.

The first 30 days suck with the fire of a thousand suns. They just do. If you can get through the first thirty days, you will probably be ok. Set little, little goals for yourself. Take things one day at a time, and don't quit on a bad day.

Unless you just decide you are all done with this BF-ing crap, in which case I've got your back :-)

[sparkythelawyer]

Jul 8, 2015 18:57:03 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

Oh starburst - big hugs. You are in the middle of the absolute worst when it comes to bf'ing. I posted something so similar to this around the same time. G was nursing for 20 minutes per side every 2-3 hours. So by the time he "finished" eating, it was time to start again. I would cry when it was time to start because I was in so much pain and cry when it was over because it meant I got only a short break before starting again. I have been there.

On a happier note, we stuck it out and are still going strong at almost 13 months. This will pass. He will grow and learn how to nurse more efficiently and you will learn and adjust right along with him. His stomach is so small right now - it's emptying almost as fast as you can fill it. Remembering that "why" was helpful for me.

A few thoughts -
1. Have you tried a paci? Or let him suck on your finger?
2. Consider bf your job right now. Start a new series on Netflix and park it on the couch.
3. Eat and drink a lot. A LOT. You need the calories and water to make milk.

Know that this will pass. It will not last forever. You're doing a fantastic job! DS is lucky to have you as his mom.

I know some people don't love them, but for us pacifiers were a lifesaver.  The day she finally figured out how to suck on the paci long enough for me to take a shower and boil some pasta I about wept from happiness.

[sillygoosegirl]

Your experience now is typical of the first 6 weeks of breastfeeding, but breastfeeding for the rest of the first year will be very different and suck a lot less. The first 6 weeks feel like they take forever when they are happening, but it's actually not a long time in the grand scheme of things.

I think my baby was about 4-5 weeks old when I went sobbing to DH that I didn't want to breastfeed at all anymore, that there were too many rules, and it was too hard, and I just couldn't do it anymore. He agreed that I shouldn't exclusively breastfeed or maybe even breastfeed at all, since it was so distressing to me. I cannot say what a relief that was. That was basically the period when I got through every nursing session by telling myself I was going to go to the store and buy some formula just as soon as my baby was done eating. Breastfeeding didn't become easy for a lot longer yet for me (around the time it should have gotten easier she developed CMPI and then it was hard in a totally different way), but the decision to do it my way relieved enough pressure to be successful. And somehow I never quite got around to buying that can of formula, and I'm glad I didn't, but if I had, that would have been okay too.

[sillygoosegirl]

The LC showed you how to "hamburger" the breast and do compressions while nursing, right? It's still hard, but those things can help a bit.

[lolo]

How are things feeling today, OP?