A little silly! How do I get over this? Anxiety re

[joenali]

Years ago when I first started teaching I recieved a very nasty email from a parent. It really shook me to the core. Ever since then I have a real anxiety every time I open my work email. Because I think "today is going to be the day when I get another nasty email". I get a nervous feeling in my stomach and I get a little panicky. I open my email and everything is fine. I've never had another bad email from a parent since.

But that anxiety still happens. I hate it! I went to counseling a few years ago for anxiety around some other things, but the email thing came up.

It's frustrating! I know nothing bad is going to happen via an email. I feel like I've grown a thicker skin since then and I'm able to better deal with parental concerns, but I just can't shake it!

Help!!

[bettylou79]

I had a bad experience with a parent last year via email and Guidance Team. It's never good when you leave crying. The parent sent me an email about an hour after the meeting but I didn't open it. Our counselor opened it for me and read it before me. I was cleaning out email a few days ago and found other emails from her and I still get a bad feeling from even seeing them.

Honestly, most parents feel terrible guilt about not being able to be a stay at home mom and be with their kids. We, as teachers, spend more time with their kids than they do. I just try to keep the lines of communication open and let them know good and bad things so they don't only hear from me about how naughty their child was. I try to be positive and constructive in my emails and ask for input and observations from the parents.
Not all emails are bad. I got a particularly nice one out of the blue from a parent thanking me my hardwork on the Father's Day gift that her child brought home.
The days I dread opening email is field trip day. Someone is going to cancel!
Don't stress too much! Enjoy the rest of your summer! It will be gone before we know it!

[sarack]

i'm so sorry. i wish i had something to say to help you get over your fear. i think maybe you should think positive. some one could say something great to you!

[picksthemusic]

Can you think of why this particular email shook you up so much? Did the parent attack you directly, or did it threaten your job? My mom is a middle school teacher for a very low socio-economic area, and she has to deal with parents screaming at her almost daily. It's awful, and it's mostly because parents/caregivers are expecting miracles of their children who don't eat breakfast and have no parent/caregiver involvement.

I'm sorry you're going through this - my only advice would be to get a bit more counseling to see if there's anything more that can be worked out from this experience.

[catbus]

I understand. I'm not a teacher, but in my former job I was made a scape goat many times by our sales department, as I was the front line in dealing with our customers (large companies) and could easily be blamed for something that was actually the sales/account manager's fault. It got to the point where I was terrified to open emails from certain people, because I might be getting "yelled" at again. Of course my manager always backed me up, but it is so demoralizing and stressful to receive those types of messages.

I think you were already given some good advice, but I just wanted to commiserate. You're definitely not alone.

And also...

Aug 17, 2012 11:55:21 GMT -5 bettylou79 said:

Honestly, most parents feel terrible guilt about not being able to be a stay at home mom and be with their kids.

I just have to say I disagree strongly with this, especially its sexist undertones.

[amandasw]

Aug 17, 2012 14:08:16 GMT -5 @jennuinne said:

I deal w/ lots of angry clients and mom's (or dad's or girlfriends or whatever) of clients. The ones who act out in this way have their own issues. It's not about you. They may have mental health issues or their own stresses or anxieties.

I don't know how to help the anxiety you have now, but I would say try to remember that it is their problem, not yours.

this. X100

I think you just have to repeat it enough times and convince yourself this is the case. You never know, you might get another one, but you'll be prepared because you'll be confident enough to know this has more to do with their own issues and it's not about you.

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2012 14:41:32 GMT -5 @amandasw said:

Aug 17, 2012 14:08:16 GMT -5 @jennuinne said:

I deal w/ lots of angry clients and mom's (or dad's or girlfriends or whatever) of clients. The ones who act out in this way have their own issues. It's not about you. They may have mental health issues or their own stresses or anxieties.

I don't know how to help the anxiety you have now, but I would say try to remember that it is their problem, not yours.

this. X100

I think you just have to repeat it enough times and convince yourself this is the case. You never know, you might get another one, but you'll be prepared because you'll be confident enough to know this has more to do with their own issues and it's not about you.

All of that.