MOOKs - lying

[Deleted]

The only thing I know is to not ask questions that push him toward a lie. Like, if the other teacher heard him say something rude, she shouldn't say "What did you say?", she should say "I heard you say that and it's not nice." We all lie when put in that situation, really.

Call his bullshit, as much as you can. And keep on with the "we want to trust you" party line.

[Deleted]

Jul 9, 2015 10:11:15 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

The only thing I know is to not ask questions that push him toward a lie. Like, if the other teacher heard him say something rude, she shouldn't say "What did you say?", she should say "I heard you say that and it's not nice." We all lie when put in that situation, really.

Call his bullshit, as much as you can. And keep on with the "we want to trust you" party line.

I agree with this. I also hate to tell you but it's pretty age appropriate as well.

I do a lot of the reverse psych stuff both at work and with DD. The trick like token said is not to help perpetuate the lie. Which does get hard I have to really think about how to phrase my line of questioning. 

Mine would be a long the lines of "I heard you say, "blahahahahahahah?" Why did you say that. Let him answer. Then I launch into a spiel about how it's not okay to lie, it hurts people feelings. How would you like it if someone said that about you....lalala.

If it's more silly made up lies, (Mrs. X can fly!) I try to come back to the truth as quick as I can/have them give up their reasoning. "Well I know Mrs. X drove 9 hours to the beach last week. Why didn't she just fly and save time?" Then I can come back a round with the fact of why humans can't fly.

[drloretta]

Very age appropriate. DD did it pretty regularly last school year, usually lying about apologizing to someone, or if she thought she was going to get into trouble. We've tried explaining that she gets in less trouble if she tells the truth.

And I keep reminding myself it could be worse. A friend's daughter told her teachers, "My parents are dead." She freaked out.

[schrodinger]

Jul 9, 2015 10:21:09 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

I also hate to tell you but it's pretty age appropriate as well.

This.  SD2 went through a period of lying from around 3.5-5.  It was bad, and usually about things that were easily verified to be lies.  We just kept talking about trust and how lies can hurt people.  Most of her lies were about tasks that we'd asked her to do.  We'd ask if she brushed her teeth, she'd say yes, we'd check and her toothbrush was bone-dry.  We were consistent about making sure that she didn't benefit from lying.  Eventually she did grow out of it.

[anaps28]

My 4 yr old has been lying a ton...I can only commiserate.

[niq]

Nurture Shock -- I think, maybe it was Brain Rules for Baby -- has a chapter on this. Don't phrase questions in a way that gives them a chance to lie, reward telling the truth when the truth hurts (i.e. don't let them lie to try to get away with something), and there was one more thing.

[lizlemon19]

My 7 yo son went through a phase like that too. If the lies are to get out of trouble, I always make a big deal about it (in a good way)if he tells me the truth. Sometimes I ask. "Is that the truth or a story?"

With lying to friends, I tell him that people like friends who tell the truth.

If it is a harmless lie (like he remembers something from when he was a baby, he saw a dinosaur) I just let it go.