Is there an expert here on constipation?

[Deleted]

Because I feel like I WILL have colon cancer in my 50s.

[Deleted]

Try miralax...it used to be prescription only...should do the trick.

[doriswe]

Have sex with some guy who wants to give you an enema??

[starburst604]

I second the miralax. I took a poop this morning that was seriously life changing.

[Deleted]

Well here is what I wonder. I only eat whole wheat everything and get cereals with the highest fiber content. Same for bread and pasta. I eat a ton of fruits and green veggies ( I used a fistful of baby spinach leaves on my sandwich today), I work out 8 hours a week. I could increase my water consumption but I pee a lot and it's as clear as water most of the time so I am hydrated.

TMI: yet I still have the "rabbit" poop. And when I take a gentle laxative, it really empties me and the poop is healthy as per the poop chart. So why am I getting healthy poop with laxatives and not without it???

[doriswe]

There's a poop chart??

[starburst604]

Hmmm, maybe try Psyllium Husk? It's natural, and my mom swears by it. You sound like you are eating right.

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2012 14:43:48 GMT -5 doriswe said:

There's a poop chart??

Oh yeah, where have you been???

[starburst604]

Aug 17, 2012 14:43:48 GMT -5 doriswe said:

There's a poop chart??

Dr. Oz did a whole show on it. What your poop tells you about your health. Fascinating shit. Hehe.

[doriswe]

Shut the hell up! Wait....now how do I know what's healthy?? This will entertain me the remainder of the day!

[Bernadine]

What do the types mean?!?

[blackkitty]

grossest chart I've ever seen

I know from Dr Oz that you want your poop to be S-shaped

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2012 14:44:54 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Hmmm, maybe try Psyllium Husk? It's natural, and my mom swears by it. You sound like you are eating right.

It doesn't work for me. I take 2 fiber gummies everyday despite eating a ton of All bran cereals (the sticks), sometimes will add dried prunes, prune juice, healthy bacteria, I eat Activia too, and take some stool softeners and NOTHING.

[starburst604]

Google "Dr. Oz poop" and about a million links to it pop up.

[Deleted]

Type 4 is the healthiest. Type 1 (what I have) is constipation and type 7 is diarrhea. So you can now judge where you stand.

[starburst604]

Aug 17, 2012 14:48:12 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

grossest chart I've ever seen

I know from Dr Oz that you want your poop to be S-shaped

"Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft"

[starburst604]

The type 2 ones hurt like a BITCH. My poor boyfriend has no large intestine, so for the rest of his life he will have #7's

[doriswe]

I apparently need to watch better daytime TV!

Andplusalso, the only reference I have to checking out your poop is from Running With Scissors!

[blackkitty]

My poop is like a snake in case y'all were wondering.

I told a funny/ gross story about poop last night if you are interested...

[doriswe]

Aug 17, 2012 14:55:39 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

My poop is like a snake in case y'all were wondering.

I told a funny/ gross story about poop last night if you are interested...

I don't want to work....so I say "yes, please"

[starburst604]

Aug 17, 2012 14:56:28 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Aug 17, 2012 14:55:39 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

My poop is like a snake in case y'all were wondering.

I told a funny/ gross story about poop last night if you are interested...

I don't want to work....so I say "yes, please"

I love poop stories. I once produced one that looked so remarkably like a brown breast cancer ribbon that I had to take a photo and send to a friend.

[blackkitty]

Aug 17, 2012 14:56:28 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Aug 17, 2012 14:55:39 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

My poop is like a snake in case y'all were wondering.

I told a funny/ gross story about poop last night if you are interested...

I don't want to work....so I say "yes, please"

So I worked in a restaurant on Bourbon street in New Orleans in college. And it's crazy during Mardi Gras so they charged a $5 cover charge to come in. Which doesn't go over well b/c people are paying to eat. The reason is to avoid people just coming in to use the bathrooms which is a big thing during Mardi Gras.

So in the men's bathroom someone took a shit and used it to write in big letters on the mirror "$5 cover charge". +o(

[starburst604]

Aug 17, 2012 14:59:55 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Aug 17, 2012 14:56:28 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I don't want to work....so I say "yes, please"

So I worked in a restaurant on Bourbon street in New Orleans in college. And it's crazy during Mardi Gras so they charged a $5 cover charge to come in. Which doesn't go over well b/c people are paying to eat. The reason is to avoid people just coming in to use the bathrooms which is a big thing during Mardi Gras.

So in the men's bathroom someone took a shit and used it to write in big letters on the mirror "$5 cover charge".

Holy SHIT. That is stupendous. I wonder how big a cover charge would have to be for me to use my poop like a crayon though.

[doriswe]

Aug 17, 2012 15:01:45 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Aug 17, 2012 14:59:55 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

So I worked in a restaurant on Bourbon street in New Orleans in college. And it's crazy during Mardi Gras so they charged a $5 cover charge to come in. Which doesn't go over well b/c people are paying to eat. The reason is to avoid people just coming in to use the bathrooms which is a big thing during Mardi Gras.

So in the men's bathroom someone took a shit and used it to write in big letters on the mirror "$5 cover charge".

Holy SHIT. That is stupendous. I wonder how big a cover charge would have to be for me to use my poop like a crayon though.

lol....I would never have thought to do this!

[Deleted]

I hear it happens a lot in stores. People are fucking gross and insane. I couldn't do it because I would puke.

[starburst604]

Aug 17, 2012 15:03:27 GMT -5 @landobiscuit said:

I hear it happens a lot in stores. People are fucking gross and insane. I couldn't do it because I would puke.

That's right! Totally forgot, when I worked in retail years ago I went to clean out a fitting room and someone had pooped on a dress. Guess they really didn't like it.

[Deleted]

Or people who use fitting rooms as toilets...

[blackkitty]

Aug 17, 2012 15:09:25 GMT -5 @landobiscuit said:

Or people who use fitting rooms as toilets...

I have a funny story about that!
I was working as a cocktail waitress (also on Bourbon street) and this guy was so drunk he walked over the the beverage station where the waitresses got drinks from the bar and was about to take a piss in the trash can. I said... you can't go to the bathroom there! That's not the bathroom. He looked at me like I had two heads. I had to say it like three times and point to the bathroom before he figured it out.

[Deleted]

But the guy was drunk. I am pretty sure the people who use fitting rooms as toilets are old people who thought they had finally reached the bathrooms only to find out it was not and didn't have the energy to actually find the bathrooms.

[hobs209]

A friend and I were talking about our past clients' suicide attempts last night (we're not normally so creepy) and were talking about one client who took an entire bottle of Tylenol. This led to her uncontrollably shitting her guts out ALL OVER her apartment. She called 911, they sent paramedics and police and they had to extensively document it. Everyone in her building knew and it was talked about for a loooong time.