OMG, nerd alert!! Pulp Ficton, Shakespeare Style

[Jalapeñomel]

pulpbard.wikispaces.com/

So awesome.


Julius: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me, then, to offer a retort.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
Brett: What?
Julius: What country dost thou hail from?
Brett: What?
Julius: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What!
I know but naught of thy strange country What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
Brett: What?
Julius: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
Brett: Aye!
Julius: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
Brett: What?
(JULIUS presses his knife to BRETT's throat)
Julius: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
Brett: He is dark.
Julius: Aye, and what more?
Brett: His head is shaven bald.
Julius: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
Brett: What?
(JULIUS strikes with his blade and BRETT cries out)
Julius: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
Brett: Nay!
Julius: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
Brett: I did not!
Julius: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou sought to rape him like a chattel whore!
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With aught save Lady Wallace, whom he wed.

[Deleted]

A+!!! lol

[mamasaurus]

:heart:

[exploding people]

Augh. So, this was created for the Minneapolis Fringe Festival a few years ago. I was supposed to be the stage manager, but had to back out.

Regrets.

[Jalapeñomel]

Aug 17, 2012 22:19:40 GMT -5 exploding people said:

Augh. So, this was created for the Minneapolis Fringe Festival a few years ago. I was supposed to be the stage manager, but had to back out.

Regrets.

What? Why?! Minnesota has one of the best Fringe Festivals in the US!

[exploding people]

Aug 18, 2012 9:11:57 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Aug 17, 2012 22:19:40 GMT -5 exploding people said:

Augh. So, this was created for the Minneapolis Fringe Festival a few years ago. I was supposed to be the stage manager, but had to back out.

Regrets.

What? Why?! Minnesota has one of the best Fringe Festivals in the US!

We do. But when I said I'd do it, they hadn't yet created the rehearsal schedule or found a space or anything. Then when they sent it out, I discovered that there was no way I'd be able to pull it off.

[Jalapeñomel]

Aug 18, 2012 14:15:03 GMT -5 exploding people said:

Aug 18, 2012 9:11:57 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

What? Why?! Minnesota has one of the best Fringe Festivals in the US!

We do. But when I said I'd do it, they hadn't yet created the rehearsal schedule or found a space or anything. Then when they sent it out, I discovered that there was no way I'd be able to pull it off.