@ Diner Owner Defends Yelling At Crying Child

[orangeblossom]

I don't have kids, but I'm going to go with, a random stranger yelling at my child, might cause me to catch a case, no matter what the issue is.  I am not saying I agree with a family staying and doing nothing to calm a child (and yes, I know that can be hard), but I think the owner went a tad bit too far.


consumerist.com/2015/07/20/diner-owner-defends-yelling-at-crying-beast-of-a-child/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow


The owner of a diner in Portland, Maine, does not appear to be terribly concerned about the social media backlash resulting from her admitted hollering at a crying child and then later dubbing that youngster a “beast” and “monster” on Facebook.


A diner customer recently posted on the restaurant’s Facebook page that the owner is a “lunatic” who is “not suitable to run a business” after she screamed at her 2-year-old daughter.


In response, the owner unleashed her own version of events, saying the parents had ordered the small child a plate of three full-size pancakes, and while waiting for the order the kid became “cranky.”


After what she claims was 40 minutes of the little girl crying in the diner, the owner says she began dropping obvious hints for the family to leave, even bringing over to-go boxes for the pancakes that were never eaten.


According to the owner, she told them “either all of you need to go or just her,” referring to the child, or “beast,” as she writes in the Facebook post.


Even that didn’t spur the family to leave, says the owner. Instead, the child — who had apparently gone quiet after being told to leave — started crying again and continued to do so for another ten minutes, claims the owner.


The owner admits yelling at the family “THAT NEEDS TO STOP!”


“Why is it OK for that kid to disrupt the experience for 75 people when mommy or daddy could have taken it outside,” she writes.

As you can guess, the Internet did not respond to this news with a calm and reasonable debate. Instead, folks seem divided into two camps — those carrying pitchforks and calling for the owner to apologize, and those holding the owner up as a champion willing to say the things we wish we could.


So far, the owner is remaining unapologetic.


“Life’s full of choices and you’ve got to live with all of them,” she tells WCSH. “I chose to yell at a kid, it made her shut-up, which made me happy, it made my staff happy, it made the 75 other people dining here happy, and they left, they may never come back, other people may not come in. Their loss really.”


When asked if she felt sorry about her actions she replied, “Sorry isn’t the right word. I might have used poor judgement. I wouldn’t say I was sorry, because it stopped. When things stop, it’s usually a good thing.”


The mom who posted the complaint is defending her parenting skills to WCSH.


“I turned to my daughter and I was like ‘Listen, this is how I’m raising you not to be as an adult. Like, you will never be like this when you get older,'” she says. “I felt helpless as a mom that, you know, I couldn’t do anything to help her, because I can’t explain why there’s crazy people in this world that behave like that.”

[laurenpetro]

i'm not defending anyone yelling at a child

....but why didn't the parents take the kid outside? IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

[rootbeerfloat]

I might cry, too, if I had to wait 40 minutes for effing pancakes.

[Skyesthelimit1212]

You know what the internet would be talking about if that owner did that my dd? They'd be talking about the slapped that could be heard around the world! I don't think so. Kids cry, there are times when you can't get your child to not cry or whine, you run a family breakfast restaurant, get over it bitch.

Edit - I realized I didn't say, that if it were me, I would have left, there's no question in that, but don't ever think you can yell at my child.  That's not ever going to fly.  

[wawa]

You know what...as the parent of a 2 year old that just had a ROUGH weekend with the screetching and the not listening...team diner owner.

if the story is even kinda accurate with 40 straight minutes of ignoring the loudly crying child then there just isn't any way that's appropriate. A airplane where we're all stuck together? I feel for you and might buy you a damn drink if your child cries that whole time because dude that sucks. But a DINER? where you could just pack your shit up to go and get the fuck out of there? NOPE. I'm SIDEEYING YOUR ASS and probably clapping when the owner tells you to scram.

[penguingrrl]

I know diners are generally casual and very family friendly, but when your kid is that wound up and the staff offers you to go boxes you leave. Or at least bring the kid outside. It stinks. All of my kids went through phases where even a trip to the diner was risky because they weren't in a place where we could force them to behave/not cry as hard as we tried. And I've definitely had times where I thought they'd be great and then they weren't for whatever reason. That's when you need to consider the other people in the restaurant and remove the child.

[wawa]

Jul 20, 2015 14:52:19 GMT -5 rootbeerfloat said:

I might cry, too, if I had to wait 40 minutes for effing pancakes.

I don't think the pancakes took that long.  It says the owner brought over to-go boxes for them.  I think the kid started crying waiting for the pancakes and then kept crying once they arrived?  I mean, crying waiting for pancakes and then stop once they get there?  Ok fine.  Crying and crying and crying?  no.  just no.  GET OUT.

[mbcdefg]

Sounds like all the adults in this situation suck.

Also, I immediately thought of this:

[msmerymac]

If I was eating in a diner and there was a kid crying for 40 minutes, *I* would have grabbed the to-go box and marched myself out!

[wawa]

Jul 20, 2015 14:55:25 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I know diners are generally casual and very family friendly, but when your kid is that wound up and the staff offers you to go boxes you leave. Or at least bring the kid outside. It stinks. All of my kids went through phases where even a trip to the diner was risky because they weren't in a place where we could force them to behave/not cry as hard as we tried. And I've definitely had times where I thought they'd be great and then they weren't for whatever reason. That's when you need to consider the other people in the restaurant and remove the child.

Am I crazy that I consider it a service to myself too?  It's stressful as fuck to sit there and listen to my kid screech while I pretend to enjoy my pancakes. 

I'd want to run away.  Unfort. I'm have to take the screaming child WITH me, but such is parenthood.  Change of venue usually means the crying stops anyway.

[pixy0stix]

Sounds like everyone involved is a jackass.

[IIOY]

If I had been there as a customer, there's a good chance I would have snapped and yelled at the parents after listening to 40 minutes of nonstop crying.

[AJL]

From the article the diner owner was a major asshole. If she loses business it's because of her lack of self control and customer service.

Yes, yes, the parents should have taking their kid outside or tried to calm the crying or whatever. BUT the burden to maintain a professional environment and good customer service is on the diner.

[aurora]

I don't have kids, but I understand they cry. Short crying/screaming spurts out in public are understandable. In this case, I think all of the adults are at fault: the parents for letting the (apparently loud) crying go on for 40 min without taking the child outside of the situation (that's a long time for the other patrons to listen to) and the owner for losing her cool and yelling at a young child (definitely not acceptable).

[penguingrrl]

Jul 20, 2015 14:59:27 GMT -5 wawa said:

Jul 20, 2015 14:55:25 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I know diners are generally casual and very family friendly, but when your kid is that wound up and the staff offers you to go boxes you leave. Or at least bring the kid outside. It stinks. All of my kids went through phases where even a trip to the diner was risky because they weren't in a place where we could force them to behave/not cry as hard as we tried. And I've definitely had times where I thought they'd be great and then they weren't for whatever reason. That's when you need to consider the other people in the restaurant and remove the child.

Am I crazy that I consider it a service to myself too?  It's stressful as fuck to sit there and listen to my kid screech while I pretend to enjoy my pancakes. 

I'd want to run away.  Unfort. I'm have to take the screaming child WITH me, but such is parenthood.  Change of venue usually means the crying stops anyway.

No, you're not alone. There's no way I could sit an enjoy a meal knowing that my kid is clearly miserable and is clearly making everyone around them miserable. 

[rootbeerfloat]

Jul 20, 2015 14:56:55 GMT -5 wawa said:

Jul 20, 2015 14:52:19 GMT -5 rootbeerfloat said:

I might cry, too, if I had to wait 40 minutes for effing pancakes.

I don't think the pancakes took that long.  It says the owner brought over to-go boxes for them.  I think the kid started crying waiting for the pancakes and then kept crying once they arrived?  I mean, crying waiting for pancakes and then stop once they get there?  Ok fine.  Crying and crying and crying?  no.  just no.  GET OUT.

I wasn't being that serious, lol. I just don't like to wait for my food

Even if the kid were crying for 5 minutes, that should require parental intervention for the courtesy of everyone else. That owner still sounds like an ass, though.

[sunterp]

No that parent needed to go outside or to the car and help the child settle down. Sorry parent but you don't get to shame the yelling adult when you were also acting foolishly. I have three kids and there have been times when one of us has said it is time to go. The other parent/adult stays in the restaurant packs up the food and pays the bill. I will amend the above statement if it turns out the parents were doing their best to calm the child and the owner butted into the situation.

[IIOY]

I just spotted this being discussed by a friend of on Facebook. ALL of the parents responding to her are pissed at the parents for not taking the child outside. Apparently I'm not the only person who hates other folks' kids. LOLOL

[wawa]

So...did the owner actually yell AT the child, or did she yell at the parents ABOUT the child? Sounds like her story is that she yelled - at the family. The family is saying she yelled at the child.

Which is actually true definitely influences whether I'm willing to lump her in as a jackass.

But i'm disinclined to believe a mother who thinks that her 2 year old is going to learn a life lesson about how not to act from her mother's indignation over being asked to leave a diner.

[wawa]

I'd also just like to state for the record that I have crying kid fatigue at the moment. It was a long weekend with a cranky cranky child. So I might be just a leeeeeetle overly vehement here.

[downtoearth]

Yelling AT kids with adult patrons to your restaurant = bad
Calling a kid a "beast" and "monster" on facebook = bad
Having your kid cry for long periods of time in a public restaurant = bad
Not taking your kid out or getting social cues/hints to leave = bad
Leaving the words "lunatic" on a facebook page about a restaurant owner = bad


Everybody here needs some manners and less access to social media.

[autumnfire]

The parents should not have let their child cry for 40 minutes. However, I really dislike that the owner is calling this child names. If anything she should be directing her comments at the parents NOT the child. That pisses me off.

Our 20 month old had a bit of a melt down in a restaurant on Friday. She didn't want anything to eat and wasn't content with the movies we were trying to catch her attention with. Embarrassed that she had been going on like that for maybe 5 minutes. I got up and took her for a walk outside while H paid for the meal (can I say how much I love those touch screens at tables) and got some to go boxes.

If someone had yelled at her any time before then I would have been pissed because I'd likely already know my child was disrupting others in the restaurant.

Generally though this is how H and I work it through. As soon as DD is showing signs of being tired or just not wanting to sit any longer (after other attempts to calm her down) we take our meal to go and have the rest of it at home where she can walk around and play. Crying for 40 minutes isn't okay in my mind and the parents really should have done something.

[jaylea]

This is local to me. Both parties were wrong. If (and I say "if" because I have yet to hear from anyone other than the parents/owner about what actually happened) the kid was screaming for 40 mins, then they should have left at 5 mins.

However, the owner is a fool. A trashy fool. Her FB page for the diner is a mess - so unprofessional and negative. No way would I set foot in there to give her a penny, just based on how ridiculous she is.

[ttt]

What the parents should have done or how much crying happened aside, if you are yelling at people at work, perhaps you should not be in a customer service kind of business.

[Skyesthelimit1212]

Jul 20, 2015 15:13:09 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Jul 20, 2015 14:52:41 GMT -5 Skyesthelimit1212 said:

You know what the internet would be talking about if that owner did that my dd? They'd be talking about the slapped that could be heard around the world!

Lol, okay.  That sounds like a reasonable reaction when you're dealing with someone a bit unhinged. Assault them, what could go wrong? 

Alright, maybe I'd just really slap her in my mind, hahahaha.   I'd post a really nasty Yelp review though

[mbcdefg]

I might just make pancakes for our dinner tonight.

[summer]

Jul 20, 2015 15:17:17 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

Forty minutes is a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time to listen to somebody else's kid cry. Everybody here sucks, including 40 mins crying kid. Shut up and eat these damn pancakes and stop wasting food. THERE ARE HUNGRY PEOPLE IN AFRICA WHO WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THESE PANCAKES.

I've turned into the parent who says this

[KB]

Jul 20, 2015 15:17:17 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

Forty minutes is a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time to listen to somebody else's kid cry. Everybody here sucks, including 40 mins crying kid. Shut up and eat these damn pancakes and stop wasting food. THERE ARE HUNGRY PEOPLE IN AFRICA ON CEP WHO WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THESE PANCAKES.

FTFY

[oscarnerdjulief]

Jul 20, 2015 15:00:56 GMT -5 AJL said:

From the article the diner owner was a major asshole. If she loses business it's because of her lack of self control and customer service.

Yes, yes, the parents should have taking their kid outside or tried to calm the crying or whatever. BUT the burden to maintain a professional environment and good customer service is on the diner.

I'd argue that good customer service IS considering the other 75 people in the diner.  ETA: Maybe there shouldn't have been yelling, but I think the owner would've been ok to say "can you please take the child outside?"  I feel like mommy would've been just as incensed by that.

I have found that there's an increase of kids just squealing/screeching/screaming out in public.  They've never been shown how to behave.  Guess what, mama, what is acceptable noise level in your home isn't acceptable in a restaurant of any type.  40 minutes of repeated crying is crazy-making.

[Skyesthelimit1212]

According to one of the comments in the link, the owner then went on to her her fb page an started cursing out the family. This woman needs to get out of cust serv.