I told him I want to separate

[speedracer]

Overall, the conversation went okay. I tried to be calm/dispassionate and that really helped.

he told me that i'm crazy and irrational and that i need to see a professional. thanks. and this morning he told me he thinks i should call a friend/family member (haven't told any IRL yet) and talk to them. he is really in denial at the state of our relationship. i asked him if he was happy, and he said yes (i call bullshit on that).

one of the first things he said after I told him is that this will really ruin his career.

then last night after we talked i was putting sheets on the guest bed and he comes in and says "what should i do with your birthday present that arrived today?" (my birthday is in a week) so i told him "whatever you want to do with it."

then he leaves, then comes back and says, "so do you want to have sex one last time?" and i'm like mentally "WTF!!!" but i just say "no."

he left the room again, came back, and said that he wasn't being serious and that he just doesn't know what to say.

/awkward


anyone else deal with someone like this? to him, it's not enough that i'm not happy and he thinks i should "just try harder." i'm already mentally/emotionally gone.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry. What is his profession where a divorce would ruin his career? With my Ex-H, it took me moving out for him to really accept that the divorce was going to happen. For some people, they don't believe it until the other spouse hires a lawyer and files. Is he going to voluntarily move out of the house?

[speedracer]

he has a normal career, but he makes good money and says that this will keep him from moving to accept better jobs in the future. apparently he planned on staying here 3-5 years and then going for a promotion elsewhere.

he seems checked out and often generally impatient/angry with our kids, so i'm kind of surprised that he would all of a sudden let his proximity to them dictate his career success if it's supposedly so important.

i planned on moving out. the house we rent now is too big and expensive for me.

[Deleted]

He is using it as a manipulation. Now all of a sudden he is worried about being away from the kids?