The summary is that a family was staying at a hotel near Disneyland. It's the type of hotel with walkways on the interior and a center courtyard, so no enclosed hallways. Mom was taking a shower, left the 3 year old in the hotel room. When she got out, the girl was gone, she ran outside and saw her dangling from the railing. The girl let go and fell 5 stories to the courtyard, in front of her father and adult cousin.
There is a LOT of blame going on. I'm just as judgy as the next person (as you all know), but Jesus Christ. This poor family. I don't have kids, but it's my assumption that pretty much every parent has left their kid alone in a room for 15 minutes to do something like take a shower or complete a chore. And/or that most parents have some kind of story/memory about a situation that could have turned horribly tragic, but didn't for some reason.
They're also getting shit for spending money on a trip to Disneyland, when there's now a GoFundMe account for funeral expenses, that has also raised more than the goal amount. No skittles for people who need to pre-plan a child's funeral, I guess. *-)
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
My thoughts? That's fucking horrible! I fear very few things but the death of my children ranks up at the very top. It was an accident and no one is more upset, heartbroken, or feeling as much guilt as that little girl's parents. I have no problem with the gofundme. I'm so sorry this happened to them.
She was in the same room as her child while showering, right? What are these judgy people thinking, that she couldn't take a shower without the kid? How horribly tragic
Ugh my stomach just dropped reading this. People are quick to judge parents when stuff like this happens but we ALL do stuff like this, and we are all just lucky most of the time that nothing happens. I definitely can think of a couple situations with my kids that could have ended tragically. They are curious and have no sense of danger whatsoever with certain things and make extremely bad choices. I feel so torn between stories like this and the judgement that goes along with it for not being vigilant and hovering as a parent and all the literature out there about not being a helicopter, letting your kids explore and be semi-free range. We can't be both at the same time.
I hate everyone who judges this mom. I really can't even imagine being in her shoes and having to live with this. She needs support right now.
Post by CallingAllAngels on Jul 21, 2015 15:40:08 GMT -5
Set-ups like this scare the shit out of me. That poor family. It really sounds like no one did anything wrong (unless the balcony wasn't to code or something), and this was just a really tragic accident.
Post by picksthemusic on Jul 21, 2015 15:40:41 GMT -5
How tragic and awful. My heart breaks for this family that is now grieving and hurting. How horrible that people are blaming and judging. I hope the family can find peace.
She was in the same room as her child while showering, right? What are these judgy people thinking, that she couldn't take a shower without the kid? How horribly tragic
That she should have waited for another adult to be in the room with her so that the mom could shower. I'm not even fucking kidding. SAHMs probably take showers all the time when they're alone with their kids, right? Age 3 is about the time many parents trust their kids to get up by themselves and grab a pre-poured cup of juice and turn on the TV on Saturday, right? Like... why do I know all this and I don't even have a kid?
Post by juliette21 on Jul 21, 2015 15:44:02 GMT -5
This is so fucking tragic, my heart is breaking for the whole family but especially the mom as she will probably always blame herself for this.
It is completely disgusting how whenever something tragic happens to a child people blame the parents immediately. I think it's a way to insulate themselves from thinking something like this could ever happen to them because they are so superior. They take the holier than thou stance of, "Oh I would NEVER do that, so therefore this couldn't happen to me." Which I honestly think is more dangerous because we all should be aware that tragedies can and do happen randomly and sometimes we just get shit luck.
This story will stay with me for a long time. I was becoming a little too comfortable with leaving my almost 3-year-old unattended while I shower, stay in bed a little longer in the morning, etc. It's a good reminder that even though he is well-behaved most of the time, he is still not mature enough to completely stay out of trouble all the time.
Set-ups like this scare the shit out of me. That poor family. It really sounds like no one did anything wrong (unless the balcony wasn't to code or something), and this was just a really tragic accident.
They're looking to see if she could have fit through the railing, or if she climbed it, and if they can work on making it safer:
Heights like that scare the shit out of me. Like at our local mall, there's a glass wall on the upper level, maybe 4 feet high, instead of a railing. So there are no bars to fall through. But goddamn it if my kid standing up against it looking down doesn't scare the breath right out of me.
Post by RoxMonster on Jul 21, 2015 15:50:07 GMT -5
Oh god. This poor family. My heart breaks for them and the last thing on my mind would be judgment. Seriously. This is a tragic accident that could happen to anyone.
The amount of judging people do in tragic circumstances like this is appalling. I don't know if it's to make themselves feel better by pretending they are immune from tragedy ("This could never happen to me because I would never X,Y, or Z"), or what. It happens every time an accident occurs - people have to place blame and can't seem to accept that terrible things happen sometimes, without anyone doing anything wrong.
Warning: further tragic anecdote:
There was a tragic death in my family a few years back - baby (just over 1 year old) was napping; mom was on her computer in the next room. He woke up, somehow slid open a glass door to the backyard (or maybe the dog pushed it open? That part was never really figured out), and a tragedy occurred. He had never before woken up from his nap without calling for his mom and to this day no one knows how he got out that back door. The local newspaper allowed comments on the story about this sweet little boy's death, and you would not believe the vileness. People were calling for her to be imprisoned, for her to be forced to experience what he experienced - just god awful.
This story will stay with me for a long time. I was becoming a little too comfortable with leaving my almost 3-year-old unattended while I shower, stay in bed a little longer in the morning, etc. It's a good reminder that even though he is well-behaved most of the time, he is still not mature enough to completely stay out of trouble all the time.
Well, your house is probably not as dangerous as an unknown vacation location. Or at least, you already know all the risks and dangers. So try to not to worry too much!
My cousin's son slipped out of the house wearing only a diaper when he was a toddler and supposed to be napping (his dad was also napping). The image of an almost-2-year-old running around outside in only a diaper is kind of funny, but at the time, OMG, that was scary. Scary, but also totally fine. Safe, suburban-type neighborhood (so SFHs with lawns, as opposed to a city block or farm land) with not a lot of cars, no dangerous equipment/machinery, and all the neighbors knew each other, so they knew which house he belonged to. That's one of those instances, though, that could have easily been worse, but wasn't.
This story will stay with me for a long time. I was becoming a little too comfortable with leaving my almost 3-year-old unattended while I shower, stay in bed a little longer in the morning, etc. It's a good reminder that even though he is well-behaved most of the time, he is still not mature enough to completely stay out of trouble all the time.
Well, your house is probably not as dangerous as an unknown vacation location. Or at least, you already know all the risks and dangers. So try to not to worry too much!
My cousin's son slipped out of the house wearing only a diaper when he was a toddler and supposed to be napping (his dad was also napping). The image of an almost-2-year-old running around outside in only a diaper is kind of funny, but at the time, OMG, that was scary. Scary, but also totally fine. Safe, suburban-type neighborhood (so SFHs with lawns, as opposed to a city block or farm land) with not a lot of cars, no dangerous equipment/machinery, and all the neighbors knew each other, so they knew which house he belonged to. That's one of those instances, though, that could have easily been worse, but wasn't.
Ugh that is my worst nightmare! I should really get one of those door alarms. Luckily we live in an apartment so he would have to go down a long hallway and onto an elevator to even get out of the building. But you're right, the fact it was an unknown location probably contributed to this poor little girl's curiosity.
This poor family. This scares me. My 3 year old is downstairs by herself each morning eating breakfast and watching tv while I'm upstairs getting ready. My H leaves for work a lot earlier so it's just the 2 of us in the morning. And I know she can unlock the doors and get outside if she wants to. I trust her, we've had many talks but she is 3.
At our old house before we had children, our next door neighbor was a single mom and one morning my H found her 3 year old daughter outside walking down the sidewalk, he mom was inside in the bathroom. He grabbed her hand and walked her back to her house. The mom was so flustered. I felt bad for her and no judging at all, it's impossible to keep your toddlers by your side all the time.
Post by penguingrrl on Jul 21, 2015 16:02:24 GMT -5
How tragic. That poor family! And kids that age are smart and quick. In the time I peed the other day my son got to the front door, unlocked the deadbolt and got close to the street. I guess I should learn not to pee when I'm home alone according to some assholes...
She was in the same room as her child while showering, right? What are these judgy people thinking, that she couldn't take a shower without the kid? How horribly tragic
That she should have waited for another adult to be in the room with her so that the mom could shower. I'm not even fucking kidding. SAHMs probably take showers all the time when they're alone with their kids, right? Age 3 is about the time many parents trust their kids to get up by themselves and grab a pre-poured cup of juice and turn on the TV on Saturday, right? Like... why do I know all this and I don't even have a kid?
I don't know many parents who have 3 year olds getting up and doing their own thing. (that is more a 5+ thing) However that doesn't change the fact that this sounds like a tragic accident. Of course people shower when their children are awake. I used to bring my kids into the bathroom with me but around 4 I started having them watch TV downstairs.
Post by meshaliuknits on Jul 21, 2015 16:14:49 GMT -5
Ugh, that poor family.
Dude, my 2yo took about five years off my life while we were on vacation. H was packing the car up and my daughter fell in the toilet and couldn't get herself out (poor bunny). while I was in the bathroom fishing her out the boy opened the door (b/c hotels all seem to have those pull down knobs he can reach and work) and ran after his father. I was in there 2-3 min tops. I come out and no baby and proceed to freak out. This hotel room had a little path but was REALLY close to the parking lot. I ran out after him only to see his father holding his hand walking him back. Fortunately, he'd run out of the room and started yelling "DADDY! DADDY!" so H heard him & caught him before he did something (else) stupid.
That she should have waited for another adult to be in the room with her so that the mom could shower. I'm not even fucking kidding. SAHMs probably take showers all the time when they're alone with their kids, right? Age 3 is about the time many parents trust their kids to get up by themselves and grab a pre-poured cup of juice and turn on the TV on Saturday, right? Like... why do I know all this and I don't even have a kid?
I don't know many parents who have 3 year olds getting up and doing their own thing. (that is more a 5+ thing) However that doesn't change the fact that this sounds like a tragic accident. Of course people shower when their children are awake. I used to bring my kids into the bathroom with me but around 4 I started having them watch TV downstairs.
Okay, so maybe I don't know that much about 3 year olds!
Dude, my 2yo took about five years off my life while we were on vacation. H was packing the car up and my daughter fell in the toilet and couldn't get herself out (poor bunny). while I was in the bathroom fishing her out the boy opened the door (b/c hotels all seem to have those pull down knobs he can reach and work) and ran after his father. I was in there 2-3 min tops. I come out and no baby and proceed to freak out. This hotel room had a little path but was REALLY close to the parking lot. I ran out after him only to see his father holding his hand walking him back. Fortunately, he'd run out of the room and started yelling "DADDY! DADDY!" so H heard him & caught him before he did something (else) stupid.
This is probably one of those things you want to laugh at, but you have to help your kid because she's scared.
However, according to the people commenting about this story, you are a terrible parent because you should have locked the deadbolt. HTH!
Dude, my 2yo took about five years off my life while we were on vacation. H was packing the car up and my daughter fell in the toilet and couldn't get herself out (poor bunny). while I was in the bathroom fishing her out the boy opened the door (b/c hotels all seem to have those pull down knobs he can reach and work) and ran after his father. I was in there 2-3 min tops. I come out and no baby and proceed to freak out. This hotel room had a little path but was REALLY close to the parking lot. I ran out after him only to see his father holding his hand walking him back. Fortunately, he'd run out of the room and started yelling "DADDY! DADDY!" so H heard him & caught him before he did something (else) stupid.
This is probably one of those things you want to laugh at, but you have to help your kid because she's scared.
However, according to the people commenting about this story, you are a terrible parent because you should have locked the deadbolt. HTH!
I smiled and she was REALLY mad at me. I had to put on my SERIOUS MOMMY face after that.
He unlocked the deadbolt. Some of them unlock when you turn the handle anyway. The chain was on it until H went out. I suppose I could have locked my husband out and just been a terrible wife.
tragic accident. I'm not going to judge the mom, but this seems like one of those situations where just the perfect storm or events came together tragically.
I only have a very limited mobility 11 month old, but I know my friends with older kids all 1) know their kids can & often do open doors 2) use top door locks. I assume this hotel, like most hotels, had a extra security latch at the top that lets you open the door to see who is knocking?
I'm not a mom to be overly paranoid & go to extreme to prevent every possible dangerous situation, but it seems like one of those cases where it may have prevented a tragedy
And reading meshaliuknits story reminds me that they could very well have been usually using the upper lock, but perhaps she had left it off if she was expecting her husband to be returning & needing to get into the room