PT Help- asking to go potty consistently

[smilee1079]

DS has been using the potty the majority of the time since Memorial Day.  He will usually go when we bring him to the bathroom and DC brings him several times a day.  However, he rarely, and inconsistently asks to go potty.  If we don't ask him to go and he has an accident, he says "uh oh" and asks for a paper towel and new undies.  He still wears a diaper to bed at night and DH leaves one on first thing in the morning when bringing him to DC because he usually poops then.  Sometimes we leave one on when we go out.  However, he will sometimes ask to go potty even if diaper is on or will agree to go on potty when it is on.

How can we get him to consistently ask when he needs to go? 

[Deleted]

How old is he?

I would start by going to only undies during the day (diaper is fine at night). Put undies on as soon as he wakes up. I bet the whole "sometimes he wears a diaper, sometimes not" is very confusing for him. He has accidents because sometimes he can pee when he wants (b/c he's wearing a diaper) and sometimes he can't b/c he's wearing underwear. Take him to the potty first thing in the morning to encourage him to poop there, rather than his diaper. I bet if you switch to underwear 100% during the day, he'll start to recognize when he needs to go.

[smilee1079]

He is 2 yrs, 4 mths. This weekend we are doing all undies. Hopefully it helps. He does go on the potty in the morning right before leaving for daycare, even with diaper on.

Anyone think boxer briefs would make a difference somehow?

[curbsideprophet]

I would not ask him if he needs to go but I would. "Remember to tell us when you need to go"

[af1212]

I am following this post as I am in a similar situation.

My issue is that my DD (2 3/4) doesn't have accidents - she just holds it forever! Constantly holding her privates, wiggling, sitting down so that she doesn't pee/poop her pants. She will go if I pick her up and put her on the potty but won't initiate.

So frustrating!

[Deleted]

Jul 25, 2015 7:12:43 GMT -5 curbsideprophet said:

I would not ask him if he needs to go but I would. "Remember to tell us when you need to go"

Yes. This is the phrase we use too.

[smilee1079]

Update on today: we took him potty before leaving for Lowes (he tried but nothing came out) and when we got there (tried but nothing again). We took him at big lots and he tried but nothing. Then we went to Gymboree and he went potty before and after class. We went to lunch in the same shopping center and he had an accident at some point while there because he was wet when we took him potty at the end of lunch. At home he went straight to nap and when he woke up refused potty and wouldn't sit on toilet but had an accident and didn't tell me 2 min. later. Then a bit after that he peed in pants outside and made it known. I didn't put undies on him at that point because we were gonna go to the pool soon. He wanted undies though and we told him no because he had 2 accidents so he couldn't have undies right now. A little bit later he said he had to go potty and did! Then we got him ready for pool and we walked outside and he ran in saying he had to go potty and went again. From swim we put him in night diaper.

Long update! Sorry!

[Deleted]

Jul 25, 2015 21:06:04 GMT -5 smilee1079 said:

He wanted undies though and we told him no because he had 2 accidents so he couldn't have undies right now. !

I wouldn't do that TBH. You don't want to punish for accidents. By refusing to let him have underwear, you're preventing the very behavior you're trying to encourage: getting rid of diapers. Encourage him, be positive about PTing, not negative. Don't punish for accidents, tell him that accidents happen and that's ok, he should keep trying to make it to the potty. It sounds to me like he had a lot of successes today!

TBH it sounds like you're getting frustrated that he's not accident-free right away. PTing takes time! Some kids it's 3 days, a week, a month or more to be fully trained. If you're getting frustrated it's okay to take a break and try again in a few weeks.

[smilee1079]

We have not in the past "punished" for accidents. However, I started reading that book Oh Crap, Potty Training (or something to that effect) which people here recommended and it said for kids who obviously can go potty and know to but don't (which definitely happened when he pottied outside and bragged about it), you should let them know you are disappointed and they did wrong. TBH... after we did that was the only 2 times he asked to go potty today.

[smilee1079]

Jul 25, 2015 22:14:44 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

Jul 25, 2015 21:06:04 GMT -5 smilee1079 said:

He wanted undies though and we told him no because he had 2 accidents so he couldn't have undies right now. !

TBH it sounds like you're getting frustrated that he's not accident-free right away. PTing takes time! Some kids it's 3 days, a week, a month or more to be fully trained. If you're getting frustrated it's okay to take a break and try again in a few weeks.

We have been potty training since Memorial Day weekend...

[curbsideprophet]

I agree with SG. I would not tell him he can not have underwear just because he had two accidents. Given his age my expectations would be low. Two months is not really that long.

[auntie]

Jul 25, 2015 22:45:34 GMT -5 virginiaham said:

Jul 25, 2015 22:29:50 GMT -5 smilee1079 said:

We have been potty training since Memorial Day weekend...

He's still really young and it sounds like he's not ready.

Yeah.

He may be on the brink of PT- able to pee on command but not able to sense that he needs to "in time" and make it happen. It's a bit like the parents are trained, not the LO. 

This is a big part of why I chose to PT DS on the later side. I wanted DS to be more independent with the skill. Frankly, changing a couple diapers daily was more appealing to me than chasing a kid to the bathroom all.day.long.

Bladder training happened one morning and after a couple days he was pretty independent around trotting off to the bathroom when we were home without my participation or prompting. He might call if he needed help with getting his pants up and fastened.

I know a few parents who have used special watches for kids who need a prompt to visit the toilet because they get so engrossed in play/don't sense they need to go that they have accidents.


www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/CTGY/potty-watch.html

[londoncalling]

I haven't seen it mentioned, but for my kids the first part of potty training wasn't them asking. It was more "ok we need to use the potty before we go to the store" "tell me when you have to go when we are in the store, it takes a few minutes to get there, so give me lots of warning" and telling that we were using the potty at transition times. Just like you did on your day out. It's exhausting, really, but so much better than doing the sometimes diaper/sometimes underwear confusing thing. Then eventually they start to learn on their own to ask and you don't have to be quite as on top of it.

I read Oh, crap potty training and I never got the vibe that you should punish like that. I wouldn't withhold the underwear. Just say something like "you're still learning, so accidents happen, but I know you can stay dry and next time tell mommy or daddy and we will help you get there on time."

[dcrunnergirl52]

My kids didn't train until 3 years old, so you LO is still really young. And, even at 3 years old, it was still a good 4-6 months before I could rely on them asking to go and not just holding it until it was an emergency and we had to rush to the bathroom or waiting for me to bring them to the bathroom. I think the asking to go part takes a little longer than the realizing the pee and poop are done in a potty and not in a diaper.

[undecidedowl]

Honestly, that's why I liked the 3 day method. It relies solely on the child deciding when they need to go. We told DS to let us know when he needed to potty and asked frequently if his underwear was still dry. I think there is a big jump between being able to release urine while sitting on the potty and actually recognizing the urge to go and get to a bathroom. If you think he can recognize the urge to go, I would try the 3 day method. If it doesn't work, then he might not be ready.

[Deleted]

We bribed my older DD with M&Ms for every time she told us rather than us asking. It was quite effective.

With my DS he did from the start.

My middle DD I think did from the start as well.

[gibbinator]

Ds1 didn't start telling us until being in underwear for a few weeks. He was a week shy of his 3rd birthday.

[thebreakfastclub]

DS is almost 2.5 and we started PT a week ago. He is always telling me he has to poop. Pee is hit or miss. I am not asking but prompting at specific intervals, like wake up, before we go out, etc. No rewards. I have no problem prompting at this point because we are establishing a routine of when we potty.

[smilee1079]

So here's more back story...

We did the 3 day method over Memorial Day weekend with the plan of trying again 4th of July if needed. Supposedly, doing it before 28mths is best according to what I read.

During that 3 days over Memorial, he did very well day 1 naked and ok the other 2. So we continued with it and daycare brought him to potty at regular intervals. sometimes she left him in diaper but still brought him to potty at intervals.

I came on here and asked if we should continue to try to train or stop and try again later and the consensus was keep going so we don't lose what he already does, but stop diapers at daycare. So, that's what we did and at home we used undies majority of the time except when we were out... Which brings us to this weekend of all diapers.

Ok so now... He is 27 mths. Should we keep going with the undies and bathroom at regular intervals (we do have a potty watch too but he lost interest after a weekend but we could try again) and hope he care he's on and becomes more aware or go back to diapers totally and try 3 day method again in a couple months (Labor Day would be only option, probably).

[undecidedowl]

If it were me, I would go back to diapers. But I didn't even try to train DS1 until he was 3y4m.

I don't mind diapers and would much rather wait until a kid is ready to tell me they need to go than have to switch back and forth between undies and diapers and keep a potty clock. After the 3 day method, I never ask DS1 if he needs to go or even pay attention to how long it's been since the last time he went. So I guess just pick if you want to do a very slow extended PTing or deal with diapers longer and try a faster PTing. I do think that switching back to diapers so frequently and having him go at regular intervals will interfere with him learning to recognize the urge. If he is always taken to pee before he really feels the need to go then there are fewer opportunities to make that connection. Good luck!

[thebreakfastclub]

I wouldn't go back to diapers. I would continue to prompt. I'd much rather say, "time to use the potty" than clean up a poop diaper. My son is one month older than yours, so I trained "early" at just under 2.5 with great results.

Can you do an extended block of time, like a long weekend, where he is naked or in shorts, no underwear, as a reset.