OMG go to sleep!!

[noodleoo]

 My baby is 11 weeks old and she used to be a good napper.  But the last week she has been fighting sleep and won't go to take a nap. She's obviously tired, yawning, eyes are glazing, etc. But she just keeps crying and won't go to sleep! I used to be able to get her to sleep in the swing but now that's not working either. She just keeps crying. I'm getting to my end of my rope and I just can't take it anymore!  Any advice? She sleeps pretty well at night, about four hours and then three hours. But she's definitely getting overtired during the day. And I seriously cannot take the screaming!

 I have some books on wonder weeks, etc. but I can't even get her quiet long enough to read them to see if they have any advice to deal with this!  

ETA: she's 10 weeks! I can't count. Mom fail!

[bananapancakes]

Have you read Happiest Baby on the Block? The 5ses really worked (and still do) for L. He needed really loud shushing and vigorous bouncing to get to sleep.

[jr009j]

What are your awake intervals during the day?

Right around that age, I found with DD2 that if I waited for signs she was ready to go down, it was too late. I started putting her down an hour after she woke up for the day. That helped a ton for subsequent naps. For her later naps, her awake interval was an hour and half to 2 hours.

[noodleoo]

I did watch the happiest baby video from the library, but maybe I need to get it again. We use a halo sleep sack with swaddle at night, but I don't usually use it during the day. She used to sleep OK without it. I would swaddle her in a blanket, but she just breaks out of them anyway. She used to go down pretty easily for an hour at a time, but not anymore. Sigh!

People told me not to try to get her on a schedule. So I've just been trying to follow her cues. She usually wakes up around eight or nine, then goes for a nap around 10 or 11 AM. That when used to be an hour at least, but lately it's been really short. That was the only consistent nap. The rest of the afternoon are variable depending on if I go out or not. She will usually sleep in the car seat if I drive somewhere. If I stay home, her naps are only about 30 minutes long and then she wakes up. And I can't get her back to sleep, I tried.

Does this mean I need to start scheduling her? I finally nursed her for 30 minutes and then rocked her for 30 minutes and finally got her to sleep. If she's wakes up after 30 minutes I'm going to cry. I never have time to do anything, the house is a mess, I didn't get to the laundry, and I haven't started dinner. How the heck am I supposed to do this?

[lolo]

She might be going through a growth spurt.

At that age, J needed to nap every 2 hours.

[bananapancakes]

I would use the same swaddle for naps. And ditto the PP about awake times. Troublesom tots has a good chart I'll try to find.

[bananapancakes]

www.troublesometots.com/baby-sleep-what-is-normal/

[chickadee77]

The biggest thing I learned was that at that age, babies typically aren't awake longer than 1.5-2 hours. Hugs to you - it WILL get better, though it's hard to see when you're in it.

[starburst604]

I think we have the same baby. Sleeps great at night, catnapping extraordinaire by day. I miss the long naps where I could count on getting things done. The most I'll get is an hour nap in the morning, then a couple of 20 minute catnaps thereafter. She goes to bed around 8/830 and sometimes sleeps for 8 hours before waking to eat, then right back to sleep for another few hours. Basically, she's a grownup. I have family babysitting most days while I'm at work so I can't really try different things to create a routine. I did try putting her swaddled in her crib as she is for bedtime and got the same lousy 20 minutes even though she seemed out cold.

She's starting daycare in about a month so I'm hopeful they can work some magic.

[pooh8402]

My question.

I know right now I'm in survival mode but wondering for the not so distant future... When does the baby start being on a schedule? As far as naps, feeding, etc, go. Advice I've been given by IRL friends say to put the baby on a schedule by like 3 months. Although right now I'm just reading his cues.

[starburst]

Following this thread because today was my first solo day with DS without my mom, and holy shit. Aren't one month old babies supposed to sleep a lot??? He took a 30-minute nap and a 1-hour nap, but that's it. The rest of the day he was either attached to my boob or fussing. God forbid I put him down for a minute. You would think I was torturing him from the screams.

[holly116]

I really liked the 2-3-4 schedule for my young babies. I read that's what daycares use and once we got on it, it was like clockwork and life was a bit more manageable. It's been a while since I've been in the trenches and I think I blocked out a lot, but I thought I'd throw that out there in case it helps anyone.

Hugs and wine, it really does get better, eventually.

[everafter07]

At that age my DD would only sleep on me. I'd queue up some shows, put her on my chest and pat her butt until she passed out (took a while and a lot of fussing), and kept patting for the next two hours or so while I watched tv. It lasted a couple of months until we nap trained at 5.5 mo.

When at daycare, she mostly catnapped in the swing. She didn't nap well from 2-6 months id say

[hermione]

We also found the 2-3-4 schedule to be helpful. We loosely followed that and it really helped.

[sjh722]

I liked the 2-3-4 schedule too but I feel like DD1 didn't fall into that until closer to 6 months. Before that she took 3 naps a day, and would go down an hour or so after she was up for the day.

[lynn07]

Yeah, LO might be overtired. Usually wake time for that age is closer to 1hr 15mins. Do you use white noise? Room dark? Around that age is when all three of mine started to "wake up" more, and needed a good sleeping environment to sleep better. We would do a quick nap time routine, too. I would swaddle during naps, too, if it works for nighttime. Unfortunately, a lot of babies aren't great "on the go" nappers after a certain age. I've found that all of mine don't have to be on a schedule, per se, but they all started following a routine around 3-4 months.

[noodleoo]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think her schedule is changing and I need to figure out what she wants. She used to go to bed around 11-12, but last night we put her down at 9 and she slept until I woke her up to feed at 11:30. Sucks because it meant she was up way earlier this morning than usual. Guess I need to start going to bed earlier. I'm going to put her down for naps after 1-2 hours today and see if that works better. So far so good, I got her down for nap 1 pretty easily.

Can someone link to the 2-3-4 schedule thing? Not sure what that is.

I'm also so confused by what I'm reading. Happiest Baby says to swaddle, rock, give pacifier, etc. but other sites say to put them down drowsy and not use sleep crutches. I dont know what to do. She doesn't fall asleep on her own so I have to rock, shhhh, paci, etc in order to get her to sleep.

I was putting her to sleep in the RNP in my bedroom upstairs, but today I'll try the crib with the blackout shades closed like she does at night.

[holly116]

2-3-4
alphamom.com/parenting/baby/the-2-3-4-sleep-routine/

[5kcandlesinthewind]

Good luck noodleoo. B is also unpredictable. He definitely sneaks in a couple of catnaps with a longer nap, but sometimes that longer nap is in the morning and sometimes it's in the afternoon. We're basically watching for cues that he's getting tired, and praying we can get him down before he's overtired. (Which I failed at miserably this morning, because I had to run an errand. He slept in the car sort of, but when I brought him inside he cried for 20 minutes and fought taking a nap all while his eyes kept shutting. ARRGH.)

[noodleoo]

Jul 28, 2015 8:16:57 GMT -5 holly116 said:

2-3-4
alphamom.com/parenting/baby/the-2-3-4-sleep-routine/

Thanks! I think that is somewhat similar to the post I was reading from Lucie's List. I did the first nap on schedule (2 hrs after wake up) this morning and she slept for over 2 hours!!! But, then she got tired and was crying, so I put her to sleep again 1 hr later after nothing else worked to soothe her.  She definitely wouldn't have made it 3 hrs. Was that a mistake?

also, how often should I be breastfeeding her at 10 weeks old? Should she still be eating every 2 hours?

[holly116]

Jul 28, 2015 11:59:33 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Jul 28, 2015 8:16:57 GMT -5 holly116 said:

2-3-4
alphamom.com/parenting/baby/the-2-3-4-sleep-routine/

Thanks! I think that is somewhat similar to the post I was reading from Lucie's List. I did the first nap on schedule (2 hrs after wake up) this morning and she slept for over 2 hours!!! But, then she got tired and was crying, so I put her to sleep again 1 hr later after nothing else worked to soothe her.  She definitely wouldn't have made it 3 hrs. Was that a mistake?

also, how often should I be breastfeeding her at 10 weeks old? Should she still be eating every 2 hours?

If your kid is tired, I wouldn't hesitate to put them down early. Sleep begets sleep. And I always nursed on demand... Like, forever, till I weaned at close to a year. So at 10 weeks, if she wants to eat every two hours, I'd do it. One of the best things about breastfeeding is that it cures a multitude of baby irritations, no need to try and figure out if she's hungry or just out of sorts. So even if your 10 week old may not be hungry, she might just want to be close and comfort nurse at two hours. If my kid made a peep, my first go to was nursing.

(((Hugs again)))

[yourmother]

Jul 27, 2015 16:00:49 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

 My baby is 11 weeks old and she used to be a good napper.  But the last week she has been fighting sleep and won't go to take a nap. She's obviously tired, yawning, eyes are glazing, etc. But she just keeps crying and won't go to sleep! I used to be able to get her to sleep in the swing but now that's not working either. She just keeps crying. I'm getting to my end of my rope and I just can't take it anymore!  Any advice? She sleeps pretty well at night, about four hours and then three hours. But she's definitely getting overtired during the day. And I seriously cannot take the screaming!

 I have some books on wonder weeks, etc. but I can't even get her quiet long enough to read them to see if they have any advice to deal with this!  

ETA: she's 10 weeks! I can't count. Mom fail!

My baby is the same age and we went through this for the last two weeks.  He didn't cry much, but he quit his naps (or they shortened to about 15 minutes here and there) and he was just fussy and had a lot of energy.  This week, he's improved dramatically.  Not sure if he's adjusted to me being gone M/W/F (I'm working p/t from home on T/Th) or if it's because we bought him this: www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AO083KU/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=1944687682&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B00G40YSYY&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=12220JBN3C9FC3E4V0YF 

He's taken three naps today (1 - 1.5 hours each).  I'm amazed.

[mswax]

Jul 27, 2015 16:37:35 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

 I never have time to do anything, the house is a mess, I didn't get to the laundry, and I haven't started dinner. How the heck am I supposed to do this?

I think this is part of your problem.  Your baby is behaving like normal babies do, and at this age, doing anything other than keeping you and your baby alive each day is "bonus." Don't worry about the laundry, the house, or dinner.  Let your DH take care of you, and you take care of your baby.

Good luck!  It really does get easier, but it's so hard to know the light is coming when you feel stuck in the middle of the tunnel.

[noodleoo]

Jul 28, 2015 15:06:47 GMT -5 mswax said:

Jul 27, 2015 16:37:35 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

 I never have time to do anything, the house is a mess, I didn't get to the laundry, and I haven't started dinner. How the heck am I supposed to do this?

I think this is part of your problem.  Your baby is behaving like normal babies do, and at this age, doing anything other than keeping you and your baby alive each day is "bonus." Don't worry about the laundry, the house, or dinner.  Let your DH take care of you, and you take care of your baby.

Good luck!  It really does get easier, but it's so hard to know the light is coming when you feel stuck in the middle of the tunnel.

Yeah, I know. I just feel like it's been almost 3 months! I want to get back to some semblance of life. It is summer, I want to enjoy it and not be stuck home all the time. I also am quitting my job to stay home, so I feel bad that my H works so hard and I can't even get dinner made for him. Sigh. I mean, I know people who are already back at work! I have no idea how they do it. On the other hand, I feel like daycare might be able to take care of my baby better than I do. They know what they are doing and I feel like I know nothing. 

Anyway, we stayed home today and I worked hard to get her to nap well. She's doing better today and is definitely happier, so that is good. 

[5kcandlesinthewind]

Aww, noodleoo, I just want to give you a hug. It'll get better and easier, and you're doing a good job. The dishes can wait and there's always take out. I feel like I'm barely surviving myself right now, and my H is home all the time. Keep her fed and dry, and love on her. That's really all you need to do right now, except cut yourself a break. It's a HUGE adjustment, and no one is an expert 2 months in. And if they are, fuck 'em. They're either lying or a disaster in other ways
Hang in there, lady.

[rugbywife]

DS is 10 weeks today. He has started struggling to go to sleep now for about 10 days, maybe 2 weeks? He can't settle on his own anymore. He needs to be swaddled, rocked or in the car. I do a mix of all of them throughout the day. And he never sleeps for longer than an hour during the day, probably closer to 30-45 minutes straight. DD was the same way until close to 6m.

[rugbywife]

I should clarify, DD was the same in terms of length of sleep for naps. She went to sleep much better. Until she didn't. Lol. It is constantly changing.

[starburst604]

This is a hard stage. Do not feel guilty! There is no way your H could do this more successfully than you are right now. If you really want to make dinner, plan meals that are short on prep and cooking time, and have your H take the baby while you cook, after he gets home. At this point, that's the only way we have home cooked meals, which we are trying to do always because we are about to start paying through the nose for daycare. Some evenings we eat one at a time if she is being fussy and won't be put down. You will find your way and a routine, I promise. My little trick these days is to put the baby on the kitchen floor in the bumbo while I prep and cook. I give her a toy that has lights and plays music and she can see me so she's happy. She wants to be sitting up anytime she's awake now. Little Miss Independent That buys me about 30 minutes.

[rugbywife]

We didn't get 2-3-4 working for us until much closer to 7 or 8 months. At best.

[holly116]

Jul 28, 2015 18:23:10 GMT -5 5kcandlesinthewind said:

Aww, noodleoo, I just want to give you a hug. It'll get better and easier, and you're doing a good job. The dishes can wait and there's always take out. I feel like I'm barely surviving myself right now, and my H is home all the time. Keep her fed and dry, and love on her. That's really all you need to do right now, except cut yourself a break. It's a HUGE adjustment, and no one is an expert 2 months in. And if they are, fuck 'em. They're either lying or a disaster in other ways
Hang in there, lady.

So much this! You'll get there! I promise. But today, take a deep breath, your baby is still so little. You are doing enough, and if you still feel like you need to get something accomplished (because I get it, I'm super type A) my biggest SAHM sanity savers have been 1.) joining a gym with gym daycare and 2.) hiring a mother's helper/teenage babysitter to come play with my kids for a bit every now and then so I can accomplish SOMETHING. The gym helps me get a break whenever I need one without having to rely solely on my DH to provide relief.

I didn't figure any of that out till kid #3 was maybe 6 months old but life has been infinitely more manageable since.