Post by thatgirl2478 on Jul 28, 2015 10:06:20 GMT -5
You can date the guy without having sex. I would probably do that to see if he was even a person I wanted to sleep with. However, I don't know if I could even relax enough to have sex just knowing in the back of my mind that, despite taking precautions, I would be exposing myself to it.
Herpes has treatment options that can prevent or minimize outbreaks. It's a little weird that people think HPV is one of the "ok" STDs but herpes is not.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Most people with herpes don't know they have it because they've never had symptoms, and it's not included on the standard STD panel (Which is true of a lot of STDs) And over half of adults have oral herpes. How can herpes be "the worst" when most people have no symptoms
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on Jul 28, 2015 14:02:08 GMT -5
Who initially said herpes was super serious? I keep re-reading the post and I see people alluding to it and arguing that it isn't the most serious, but I don't see someone saying it is. Am I blind? HPV and HSV are very common and often asymptomatic.
To the poster who totally slut shamed everyone who has one, and then tried to backpedal, that's gross and so, so offensive. I'd say you are more lucky than anything else that you don't happen to have one, instead of it being some sort of moral achievement on your part.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Post by MrsPotatohead on Jul 28, 2015 14:02:09 GMT -5
I'm actually at a STD/AIDS conference right now. Really depends what you mean by 'worst' frankly - incurable, causing pain vs. death, treatable, causing other problems (infertility, cancer)... huge variety. HPV for example does resolve spontaneously 90% of the time within 2 years (just learned that!), it's the fact that some serotypes can cause cancer that is a problem.
ETA: I personally wouldn't have sex with anyone without have us both tested and exchange results and go from there. Some things can be prevented with a vaccine (HPV), some can (or can't) be prevented with condoms and HIV transmission, for example, is almost all but prevented if the person is virally suppressed (or I could go on preventative medication). You should absolutely talk about it and then actually understand your risks.
Also, I think this group is obviously biased in that most women on this board are married. So it's easy to say "no" when you're not currently in the dating world. It's kind of like when everyone says they'll marry rich next time. There are plenty of ideals that people think they would be super strict about if they were trying to find a partner/husband, but it's not always realistic if truly put in that position.
If a guy I was about to hook up with randomly told me he had an STD - I have to say that I probably wouldn't. It wouldn't be worth the risk to me. If I'm dating someone, I like them, and it's going somewhere - then I wouldn't break up with him because of it.
But it would be new territory for me and I would want to take things slow.
considering 80% of adults who are sexually active have been exposed to HPV at some point and most of them don't even know it, it would have seriously limited my dating options if I had made this a hard and fast rule.
Thank you. I can't thank you enough. Since so many adults have HSV-1, often unknowingly, the whole "I would never!!!" and other, often very judgy things, are said about individuals with STDs, make me roll my eyes at times. So, yeah, with 80-90% of adults have been exposed to HSV-1, it logically follows that a good chunk of folks who exclude people with it actually have it without knowing. And HSV is not a standard part of STI or STD screenings. It has to be specifically requested by one's doctor. None of the three OB/Gyns I've had the past three years routine tested for it. I dislike that it's so stigmatized.
"I’m sure my boyfriend doesn’t have herpes, a patient recently told Dr. Lydia Shrier, an adolescent medicine specialist at Children’s Hospital Boston.
How could she be so sure? Dr. Shrier asked. Because, the patient replied, she had scoped out his body and “there’s nothing irregular about him.”
Dr. Shrier, a researcher on sexually transmitted infections, goes through this kind of conversation all the time. Patients tell her that they’ve never had blisters or lesions or sores, and so cannot possibly have genital herpes. The same for their sexual partners.
It falls to her to disabuse them of these notions, saying: “You can have lesions or not, you can have symptoms or not, you should basically be operating the same way, which is to assume that everyone has herpes.” That means taking precautions, from limiting sexual contact to using condoms.
Dr. Lydia Shrier
Though this is her longstanding message, she now has better evidence to back it up than ever before. Last week, a pre-eminent researcher on the genital herpes virus, known as Herpes Simplex Virus 2 or HSV-2, published a landmark paper documenting the striking rate at which people with no herpes symptoms can nonetheless “shed virus,” potentially infecting partners.
The study, led by Dr. Anna Wald of the University of Washington, found that people who’d had symptoms of herpes shed virus on about 20 percent of days, while people who test positive for herpes antibodies but have never had symptoms shed virus on only about 10 percent of days.
But here’s the kicker: When they’re shedding, people who’ve never had symptoms shed roughly the same amount of virus as people who’ve had symptoms. So it’s clearer than ever that lack of symptoms is no guarantee against infection. And in fact, Dr. Wald said, “Asymptomatic shedding may be the central phenomenon of transmission.”
"Highly stigmatized, genital herpes is one of the most common sexually transmitted infections that your doctor isn’t testing you for. Most people, in fact, don’t even realize that they aren’t being tested for herpes when they request a full STI screen.
Though the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has screening guidelines for HIV, chlamydia, syphilis, human papilloma virus, and hepatitis B, it states that screening for herpes may be useful in some situations but does not recommend screening in the general population. Why?
Let’s start with the facts. When most people think of herpes infections—life-long and without a cure or vaccine—they think about herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2), which can cause recurrent and painful genital ulcers. Prevalence estimates indicate that approximately 16 percent of people in the United States have HSV-2, but most people are asymptomatic.
Most people don’t even realize that they aren’t being tested for herpes when they request a full STI screen.
Genital herpes can also be caused by HSV-1, which is associated with cold sores, is often acquired in childhood, and affects approximately 54 percent of U.S. adolescents and adults between 14 and 49 years of age. However, oral HSV-1 can be transmitted to the genitals by oral sex.
Up to 90 percent of individuals with genital herpes are unaware of their infection, and the majority of new infections are acquired from individuals who do not know they are infected. Given this, and given how common genital herpes is, wouldn't routine screening make sense?
Post by Queen Mamadala on Jul 28, 2015 14:25:43 GMT -5
Oh, and my second daughter has HSV-1, acquired at 18 months, as do I. And my husband also has it, contracted by an ex who cheated on him. My daughter is almost 9, and has had three outbreaks, cold sores, since her initial infection (via Gingivostomatitis). I've had four since my initial outbreak three years ago. I didn't know I had it until I specifically requested the test for it.
"Oral infections caused by herpes simplex type 1 are widespread, even among otherwise healthy people. While most of these herpetic infections are asymptomatic, young children are at risk for developing extensive oropharyngeal vesicular eruptions when first infected with the virus. This initial outbreak is known as primary herpetic gingivostomatitis. Although a self-limiting disease, this oral infection can cause significant mouth discomfort, fever, lymphadenopathy, and difficulty with eating and drinking. Symptoms may persist for 2 weeks. Diagnosis can be made clinically and confirmed by laboratory tests. Some young children require hospitalization for management of dehydration and pain control. Pediatric nurses working in both primary and acute care settings will encounter this oral infection in young children. Antiviral therapy with acyclovir has proven effective in the management of primary herpetic gingivostomatitis. Providing supportive care and educating parents about transmission of the virus are important aspects of nursing care."
Also, I think this group is obviously biased in that most women on this board are married. So it's easy to say "no" when you're not currently in the dating world. It's kind of like when everyone says they'll marry rich next time. There are plenty of ideals that people think they would be super strict about if they were trying to find a partner/husband, but it's not always realistic if truly put in that position.
I agree. I'm pretty sure a large majority of men I met and dated had HSV, but only few actually knew about it, either from getting tested or having experienced an outbreak. It can be transmitted through kissing, sharing drinks, utensils, etc. So who knows where one might have contracted it when so many are asymptomatic. My first outbreak occurred while in a new relationship, but I could have contracted it months or years before.
Post by scottyderp on Jul 28, 2015 14:33:52 GMT -5
Nope. I definitely would not. It's not about them being a bad person because they have it, or not. People can be great people with an STD. I just don't want to deal with it. If I landed back in the dating world, there wouldn't be a lot of things like that that I would deal with. If I couldn't find a mate, I'd be single.
The herpes stigma was also invented by a pharmaceutical company in the 1970s to sell an anti viral drug that they didn't have a market for. Cold sore in an unusual place.
For me, it would depend on the STD and what I'm looking for (casual vs. long term) in that person.
And as for getting an STD and not knowing it, you're looking at someone whose husband cheated on her with an IV drug user. When he cheated, they didn't use protection. There was a good year in between that event and me finding out about it. After I 'forgave him' we still used protection for a year until we both came back clean (I didn't know she was a drug user at the time). Guess who he slept with after we decided to separate? Yep. Guess who is also now HIV Positive? She is. I have no clue if they used protection or if she popped positive after. Not my circus, not my monkeys. All I know is that we had stopped being intimate by then. I have gotten tested every 6 months since our seperation.
So many can be treated, and that's the end of it. I think the only one I'd be nervous of would be herpes since it can't be cured, but if the person is diligent about taking anti viral meds and what not, I don't see why it would be an issue. I don't think an STD speaks of that person's character.