MOOKs: Play dates and screen time

[Deleted]

This is sort of a s/o of bunnybean's thread about real stuff vs. Internet stuff. The boys had a friend over yesterday and they wanted to play video games. They play games on the computer sometimes and we have a couple game systems (all kid appropriate, that's not the issue). Anyway, I said no because I wasn't sure what the friend's parent's rules about that are. I felt bad though because I didn't want the friend going home and telling his parents I'm a mean mom, lol.

What do your older kids do with friends who come over? Do you let them play video games if they want?

[Deleted]

^ Related to this, they thought it was such a drag that I expected them to play with their Legos or Magnatiles or train set. Instead of letting them jump off the top of a bunk bed into pillows or play video games :/ Are these things too babyish for 7 yos? Usually they love those things and play with them with the other kids who come over but this was a new friend who I think DS was trying to impress.

[lurknomore]

I admittedly I'm more relaxed than most about most things parenting, but if my kid is going to someone else's house I don't care how much TV they watch. I'd rather them not the whole time, but if she does she does. I'll just try to compensate with less screen time at home. If she has a friend to our house and they want to watch some tv, fine, but I won't let them watch the whole time.

As for what they do, I let them do basically whatever they want, as long as it's safe. I do expect them to at least clean up something (DD1 is 7) and ask them to clean up a little as they go. DD is also expect to clean up after the friend leaves so she'll often have her friends help clean as they finish one activity and move on to something else. But I have no expectations for what they'll do. I find she wants to do different things depending on who is over, and often it is stuff she wouldn't do normally.

[gibbinator]

My kids aren't this old, but I'm pretty sure I'd let them play video games or watch movies etc when friends are over (although I'd probably give some sort of time limit). I currently tend to throw day to day rules like bedtime out the window when we have guests.

[Deleted]

As long as it was an appropriate game, I'd let them for a bit. I work with a lot of kids that age and they do play videogames on playdates. The issue here comes when it's all they do for four hours or it's not age appropriate.

My kids are a bit young for video games but when DD has a friend over I'll put on a show towards the end. They just seem so tired and about to fight sometimes. I hope no one hates me for that.

[dulcemariamar]

I could care less about screen time because it sounds like you are giving the parents some free time without their kids. The only concern I would have is that when kids get older then it will be hard to know what movies/games are considered ok by the other family. You know the other under 6 crowd will be probably watching something age appropriate but with preteens you never know because some families are more breezy/strict

[anaps28]

I usually allow screen time when I need the boys to all calm the F down when they get out of hand. I usually just go with the mantra my house my rules kind of thing.

[annieh22]

As long as my kids are safe and doing age appropriate things (though this can be interpreted differently by people obviously), I'm fine with anything.
I'd be fine with video games since we don't have them at home yet and it's super special to them to get the chance to play those.

[monsterz]

Generally the kids play outside when jr has a play date. Sometimes we watch tv or they will play video games but that is very rare.

[ECB]

As long as it's age appropriate, I don't care if DS plays games at friends' houses and I usually let them play at our house. We're talking Wii sports here! Or maybe Mario Kart.

If it's on my radar (like DS says something about wanting to play games when his friend comes over shortly before they show up), I will ask the mom when the kid is dropped off if she's cool with it. And I've never been told "no".

As they get older, we'll have to see how this goes. DH plays video games like Grand Theft Auto and the like and he's VERY tuned in to what is and isn't appropriate. We will probably keep DS away from those games for quite awhile. If I happen to know that a friend of his plays those types of games and he's going to their house... I'll have to play it by ear and figure out what I say (if anything) or what I do about it.

DS has yet to have a playdate where they only play video games, though. They'll do that but then they always go off and do other stuff. So I dont' worry too much about limiting them or telling them what to do.

[cinco]

We don't have any game systems and I don't allow screen time when my kids have guests. I don't care if other parents allow it when my kids are at their house, but they usually would rather play anyway. If the weather is nice I strongly encourage outside play. It gets so loud otherwise.

[frlcb]

My son is 7 and at all his playdates, at our house and others, they end up playing video games. We make them do something creative/active first, and then they play. All his friends play the same games (minecraft, jurassic world, terraria) so it is fine.

[mrshandy]

I don't usually do too much screen time on play dates only if they are absolutely insistent.
Play dates are supposed to be playing together.

One kid always asks to play with our tablet when he's over. But I tell him no since I know they limit screen time.