Drop off pool party - expect to stay?

[vanillacourage]

We have a pool in our backyard. DS1 goes back to school next week and I thought it would be fun to invite a couple of his school friends over for a short swimming party on Saturday afternoon. They came to his birthday party and so I have their parents contact information, but they've never been to our house before.

I would really like for this to be a drop off party, but I'm wondering if the parents will expect to be able to stay especially given the pool factor. For seven-year-olds (rising 2nd graders), if it were your kid would you expect or want to stay?

[eddy]

I would not expect to stay. I would call it a play date to make it clear they can drop off.

[gummybear]

I think this is highly dependent on the child's swimming ability. My daughter is going into 2nd grade and this is the first summer I've felt comfortable dropping her off to swim in friends' pools. She is a strong swimmer though.

[texassmith]

I always stay with my kid that age. She can swim just fine, but I still don't trust other people with her in the water. She could get pushed/held under, or just get physically tired from swimming/start struggling and need to get out of the pool (which someone else might not notice).

[regencygirl]

A few child free hours? I'd toss my kid at you, inform you of his swimming/non-swimming ability and trust that you wouldn't let him drown. How deep is the pool? We've got an above ground and have never had a kids pool party where the parents wanted to stay. The above ground might be a factor in that though, by 2nd grade most of the kids could at least tippy toe the bottom of the pool.

[nsl]

I would want to stay just because my kid isn't a very good swimmer and I wouldn't feel comfortable tasking another mom with watching him in the water while she was also taking care of her other hosting duties.

You could always see how much it would cost to hire a lifeguard for a couple of hours so parents like me would feel more comfortable dropping their kids off.

[sailorgray]

My son is almost 6 and I wouldn't be comfortable dropping him off without knowing the parents really well. It's just the pool thing. He can swim, but the idea just makes me nervous. Wild you be Totally against having a few parents stay?

[gummybear]

Also I would just talk frankly with the parents about swimming abilities. My neighbor's kid (going into 4th) can't swim very well. Her mom still lets her go to pools with directions to "stay in the shallow end" and "hold onto the wall". That would make me nervous and I would not want to be responsible for watching a child with that level of water safety.

I think hiring a lifeguard is a good idea. I know a lot of camps/lesson programs/swim teams are winding down and you'd probably be able to find a college-aged kid looking to make a few bucks before heading back.

[speckledfrog]

How many kids are you inviting?

[revolution]

My DD is going into 2nd and 7 y/o. At this point, I'd cross my fingers the parents made it clear I could drop off and run.

I will say, she went to a bday pool party at the beginning of the summer, and I stayed for a while - but once I realized she was fine and she realized she was fine in the pool, I told the mom I was leaving and went on my merry way for a few hours. But she's had 2 months of swimming lessons since then and swims almost daily at her Y camp, so she is much more confident now.

[Kit]

It would depend on the kid-to-adult ratio. If there are a lot of kids, like AutumnRose25 pointed out, two adults to supervise might not be enough and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with that.

[underwaterrhymes]

Age and ability are huge factors in this.

My kid is just 2 and a half and I wouldn't leave him at any party alone at this point, but especially not a pool party since he can't swim yet.

But at age 7? Sure.

[irishbride2]

I would leave my 5.5 year old, but down here kids swim year round and start at a young age.

It all depends on ability of the kid.

[mslhb]

My DD is also 7 going into 2nd grade and DH and I just had the drop-off vs. stay discussion this weekend (DD had a bday party to go to). At this age we don't assume and play it by ear and judge the situation when we get there. Generally I have found if at someone's home I feel comfortable with a drop-off. If at a public space we tend to stay. We always ask the party parent when we get there. My DD still isn't a strong swimmer so I might stay in your situation. If that is the case though in no way do I expect to be fed or entertained. I always bring my ipad in my purse to read a book in those situations.

[suzubell]

I'm uptight about water safety since my kid is fearless around the water and often does stupid things like removing his floaties. I would not drop my kid off for a pool party until he's much older. If it were a drop off party I just wouldn't send him. I acknowledge that I #notbreezy on the topic.

[vanillacourage]

Aug 3, 2015 7:44:38 GMT -5 sailorgray said:

My son is almost 6 and I wouldn't be comfortable dropping him off without knowing the parents really well. It's just the pool thing. He can swim, but the idea just makes me nervous. Wild you be Totally against having a few parents stay?

Honestly, yeah. I'm envisioning 2 hours on a Saturday, including lunch. With 2-3 boys, totally NBD. Add in parents, and then I know a few of the boys have siblings, and all of a sudden it's a full-blown party. Not what I want to get into for a last-minute GTG.

I think I will just make it clear it's a drop-off thing and let parents self-select out if necessary. It's such short notice that I'm anticipating a few may not be able to make it anyway.

[cinco]

We had a pool party for DS who is also an incoming 2nd grader and a couple parents stayed. I let them know that DH and I are both former lifeguards and safety trained, but that they are welcome to stay if they wanted. It was fine, but boys do get a bit rowdy as a group. I can understand wanting to stay even if you have a strong swimmer. I definitely wanted parents to feel like they had that option.

[jeaniebueller]

Aug 3, 2015 7:44:38 GMT -5 sailorgray said:

My son is almost 6 and I wouldn't be comfortable dropping him off without knowing the parents really well. It's just the pool thing. He can swim, but the idea just makes me nervous. Wild you be Totally against having a few parents stay?

Ditto, except my DS is almost 7.

[cinco]

Aug 3, 2015 7:55:24 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Aug 3, 2015 7:44:38 GMT -5 sailorgray said:

My son is almost 6 and I wouldn't be comfortable dropping him off without knowing the parents really well. It's just the pool thing. He can swim, but the idea just makes me nervous. Wild you be Totally against having a few parents stay?

Honestly, yeah. I'm envisioning 2 hours on a Saturday, including lunch. With 2-3 boys, totally NBD. Add in parents, and then I know a few of the boys have siblings, and all of a sudden it's a full-blown party. Not what I want to get into for a last-minute GTG.

I think I will just make it clear it's a drop-off thing and let parents self-select out if necessary. It's such short notice that I'm anticipating a few may not be able to make it anyway.

Call it a play date then, not a party, and only invite 2 or 3 boys.

[eddy]

I think that set up sounds fine. If they don't feel comfortable they can be "busy."

I get it. I would also want to just do something casual and not make it a big thing. Three boys is not too much to watch in a pool.

I bet they have a blast!

[muppetinma]

Another vote for hiring a lifeguard or two. Around here, it's only $10 an hour or so. Just call your local community pool and ask for recommendations.

[speckledfrog]

Aug 3, 2015 8:05:22 GMT -5 muppetinma said:

Another vote for hiring a lifeguard or two. Around here, it's only $10 an hour or so. Just call your local community pool and ask for recommendations.

For three seven year olds?

[crispnclean]

If it's three 7 year old boys, then I think that's fine. But I wouldn't call it a party. I'd just say, hey, does Bobby want to come over for a few hours and swim with a few other boys on Saturday?

[Deleted]

I was at a pool party this past Saturday and there were many kids who were not very good swimmers. The parents stayed close by. S I think I would expect parents to stay.

[sonrisa]

3 boys total (including your own kids) and you know they are all strong swimmers? I could be okay with a play date like that if I knew the family well and all boys could swim.

I wouldn't want someone dropping off a kid who I wasn't certain was a strong swimmer, though. Boys that age like to show off and horse around. A kid isn't going to tell you when things get beyond his abilities. I'd be certain I knew those limits before I'd extended the invite. One kid panicking and accidentally pulling down his friend can get get bad really fast.

[muppetinma]

Aug 3, 2015 8:07:17 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Aug 3, 2015 8:05:22 GMT -5 muppetinma said:

Another vote for hiring a lifeguard or two. Around here, it's only $10 an hour or so. Just call your local community pool and ask for recommendations.

For three seven year olds?

Ahhh, I didn't see the three kids part.  Opened the thread before that was mentioned.  

[sporklemotion]

With your update (2-3 boys), I would be OK with dropping a kid that age off. I would not call it a party, though, or if I did, I would try to communicate to parents that it's going to be very small.

[penelope]

Both of my kids have always been very strong swimmers. My parents live on the water, so they have been in lessons since before they could talk. I would have dropped mine off.

DS2's best friend, on the other hand, no way. I have jumped in after him, as has his mom, on different occasions. I would want an extra pair of eyes on a kid that is not strong in the water.

I think you need to talk to each parent and assess what their abilities are and how each parent feels.

[Deleted]

Aug 3, 2015 8:07:17 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Aug 3, 2015 8:05:22 GMT -5 muppetinma said:

Another vote for hiring a lifeguard or two. Around here, it's only $10 an hour or so. Just call your local community pool and ask for recommendations.

For three seven year olds?

I read the OP as much more than 3 kids. With follow up I think it will be fine. 

[honeychai]

My six year old kid is insane and fearless . Because of this, I would not feel comfortable with a drop off situation