Chris Christie: ‘I’ve used birth control."

[wambam]

You know that gif with the pugs and they're turning their heads back and forth?

That was, honest to God, what I just did.

[tacosforlife]

On the one hand, it's nice to hear a Republican candidate not act like anyone who wants to use birth control is just a dirty hoor.

But I don't really want to know whether the candidates themselves have used contraception. It's like the time I overheard my stepmom mention that my dad had been "fixed." THESE ARE THINGS I CANNOT UNHEAR!!!

[pixy0stix]

Yay?

[LadySusan]

Advisor: Sir, our polling suggests that your moderate attitude towards contraceptives will distinguish you from your rivals and play well with voters. You should mention that if the opportunity arises.

Christie: I got this.

Later that day...

Christie: Everyone picture me having ALL THE PROTECTED SECKS!

Advisor: ::facepalm::

[smock]

[penguingrrl]

I would guess his personality serves him very well in the contraceptive department. See everyone, no need for artificial BC, just act like me and you'll never get pregnant/get someone pregnant!

[saz]

I just really would rather not think of Chris Christie, or almost any other politician, having sex.

[tacosforlife]

Aug 4, 2015 12:29:58 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I would guess his personality serves him very well in the contraceptive department. See everyone, no need for artificial BC, just act like me and you'll never get pregnant/get someone pregnant!

Except for the part where he's married with four children. So he's clearly done some impregnatin'.

[heyjude]

It's seriosuly a fucking sad state of american affairs when admitting to using birth control is the refreshing perspective. Gah. This country is so bass ackwards.

Christy gets no points for admitting to being human. He doesn't lose any either though.

[penguingrrl]

Aug 4, 2015 12:31:08 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

Aug 4, 2015 12:29:58 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I would guess his personality serves him very well in the contraceptive department. See everyone, no need for artificial BC, just act like me and you'll never get pregnant/get someone pregnant!

Except for the part where he's married with four children. So he's clearly done some impregnatin'.

Oh, I prefer to assume that his wife is the modern day Virgin Mary x2.

[laurenpetro]

Aug 4, 2015 12:31:05 GMT -5 saz said:

I just really would rather not think of Chris Christie, or almost any other politician, having sex.

i'm here.

[tacosforlife]

Aug 4, 2015 12:35:44 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Aug 4, 2015 12:31:08 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

Except for the part where he's married with four children. So he's clearly done some impregnatin'.

Oh, I prefer to assume that his wife is the modern day Virgin Mary x2.

OK. That is weird, though. Pretty much as weird as Chris Christie talking about his sex life.

[charminglife]

That guy does NOT want to hear about Christe's BC choices.

[eclaires]

Lol @ this revelation. Every American Catholic just yawned and said "you don't say..."

[penguingrrl]

Aug 4, 2015 12:37:56 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

Aug 4, 2015 12:35:44 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Oh, I prefer to assume that his wife is the modern day Virgin Mary x2.

OK. That is weird, though. Pretty much as weird as Chris Christie talking about his sex life.

I guess. There are a lot of people in this world I want to pretend have never had sex. He's pretty high on the list. 

[mbcdefg]

I feel like that whole "Dad Dancing With Jimmy Fallon" sketch a while ago should have been enough Christie birth control for everyone:

[josieposy]

You know what? I was wrong.

Beat. Election. Ever.

[Deleted]

I can't believe I just spent 5 seconds of my life I'll never get back thinking about Chris Christie having sex.

[earlgreyhot]

Dude, he IS birth control.

[eclaires]

This makes me think of my Catholic sex Ed which gave very specific and detailed lessons on every form of birth control and how to use it and how it prevented babies. It was a serious amount of info - starting in 4th grade and continuing every year through 9th grade health class - for a topic that also has the party line of "no sex until marriage." It kind of made me laugh. Like here are all these things and how to use them. But don't use them!

Which always leads me to - if the Catholic school sex education units seem way more progressive than the state's curriculum, you might be doing it wrong (the state. Not the Catholics).

[Velar Fricative]

Great, now Donald Trump is gonna come out and share details about his use of birth control. Or worse, since he loves to one-up everyone.

[eclaires]

Aug 4, 2015 12:52:26 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Great, now Donald Trump is gonna come out and share details about his use of birth control. Or worse, since he loves to one-up everyone.

This eventually ends with a sex tape. Whether it's the Donald or Cruz or some other sad candidate who feels he, too, needs some attention, I can't say. But this is where it will end.

[Velar Fricative]

Aug 4, 2015 12:43:38 GMT -5 eclaires said:

Lol @ this revelation. Every American Catholic just yawned and said "you don't say..."

More specifically, New Jersey/New York Catholic. Everyone's Catholic so their Nonnas don't get pissed off at them.

[mbcdefg]

Aug 4, 2015 12:54:34 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Aug 4, 2015 12:43:38 GMT -5 eclaires said:

Lol @ this revelation. Every American Catholic just yawned and said "you don't say..."

More specifically, New Jersey/New York Catholic. Everyone's Catholic so their Nonnas don't get pissed off at them.

I was at the doctor recently and the receptionist was asking me questions for the paperwork, and she said, "Religion?" I started to say Catholic and then just shrugged and said, "Nothing."

But I still kind of whispered it and also looked around to make sure my mother wasn't there. 

[saz]

Aug 4, 2015 12:53:49 GMT -5 eclaires said:

Aug 4, 2015 12:52:26 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Great, now Donald Trump is gonna come out and share details about his use of birth control. Or worse, since he loves to one-up everyone.

This eventually ends with a sex tape. Whether it's the Donald or Cruz or some other sad candidate who feels he, too, needs some attention, I can't say. But this is where it will end.

[ESF]

Aug 4, 2015 12:53:49 GMT -5 eclaires said:

Aug 4, 2015 12:52:26 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Great, now Donald Trump is gonna come out and share details about his use of birth control. Or worse, since he loves to one-up everyone.

This eventually ends with a sex tape. Whether it's the Donald or Cruz or some other sad candidate who feels he, too, needs some attention, I can't say. But this is where it will end.

You know Donald has a sex tape. You just know he does.

If I had to bet which candidate's career would end with us all puking our guts out, I'd put my money on Huckabee.  There is something not right about him.