Older kids and swim floaties

[anna7602]

DD is 7 and is a pretty decent swimmer. She's off to my IL's house next week and says MIL always insists she wears floaties in the pool there since MIL doesn't know how to swim. DD wants us to talk to the ILs about the "must use floaties" rule, since she feels she's too old for them. We won't be there at all, FYI. 

I'm not sure how to feel. I see DD's point, but I also see how MIL would be very nervous since she can't jump into the water and get DD should she have to. I suppose the real answer would be that we shouldn't allow DD to swim in a pool when the only person who can supervise her doesn't swim, but I'd love to hear your thoughts...

[kershnic]

When you say floaties what exactly are you referring to? Many of them are not actually any safer than just swimming. Swimming without an adult who can swim sounds scary to me, but that's your judgment call.

I feel like I should edit to clarify that i meant scary with or without floaties. They would Make no difference for me and if your daughter doesn't want to use them i would tell MIL to not make her.

[hocus2]

If your daughter can swim across the pool on her own then she doesn't need floaties. Your in laws should should practice with a pool net so they could offer it to her in the unlikely event she needed to be pulled in. There are water safely classes that review how you can help from the side of a pool if you think someone is in danger.

[redheadk]

Is this at a pool with lifeguards or a private pool? At your DD's age, I'd be okay with working out some "no floaties" parameters with DD and your MIL if they are at a pool with a lifequard and your MIL can supervise closely, such as must stay in an area where DD can touch, MIL has to accompany her to the diving board/slide (I'd be pretty okay with that since all of our pools have a dedicated lifeguard for the diving board/slide area and it's strictly one at a time). Can your MIL get in with her but stay in an area where she can easily touch the bottom?

If it's a private pool or very crowded, then I can see why your MIL wants her to wear floaties.

[Marmee]

Depends on how strong of a swimmer my child is. Doggy paddling across a pool vs. swimming the strokes is different to me. My 6yr old DD3 can swim (underwater mostly) but no way would I let her swim without supervision by someone who can save her if she gets in trouble. How deep is the pool? Even if your MIL can't swim, can she jump in & get her in 4-5' of water? Is there a lifeguard? I'm pretty cautious about the water so I'd have to be very confident my child could handle it.

[holly116]

Eh, I think I'd just insist that they skip the pool.

DD has been in swim lessons for over a year and is really progressing. We took a boating trip to a lake over Memorial Day and put her back in a puddle jumper. She learned how great it is to float around. Then, the first few times I took all three by myself at the beginning of summer, I put all of them in puddle jumpers and then just like that, my little fish regressed and was almost terrified to swim without the thing. So no more puddle jumpers over here unless they're actually being used as a life jacket like on a boat.

I put her back in swim lessons and after a few she was back on track, but after my experience, I would really worry about regression after a week in floaters.

[abs]

I am a water Nazi. DD can swim but I wouldn't call her water safe yet. I always go into the pool with her at our neighborhood pool and swim time is the one time where I am 100% engaged at all times. I don't trust the lifeguards. Half the time they are too busy texting so I don't take my eyes off her.

MIL's neighbors have a pool. She always wants to take DD there in the summer. That's a big nope. MIL never learned how to swim so she would be usless in an emergency. It only takes a second.

So yeah, my answer is don't let your daughter swim there unless there is another strong swimmer to supervise her.

[shellbear09]

Aug 5, 2015 11:32:28 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

I'm not sure how to feel. I see DD's point, but I also see how MIL would be very nervous since she can't jump into the water and get DD should she have to. I suppose the real answer would be that we shouldn't allow DD to swim in a pool when the only person who can supervise her doesn't swim, but I'd love to hear your thoughts...

Yes this of course. I mean I get that it sucks but I just don't think it is old enough to allow her to have no adult to assist her. 

[jeaniebueller]

Well...I am not a great swimmer but whenever we swim in a pool (where the water could be above DS's head) or in a lake, DS has to wear his life jacket. So, I would say that your DD either needs to wear some type of floatie and has to stay in the water below her head. Unless there is a lifeguard available.

[CloudBee]

Unless the pool is in their backyard, I think I would consider having them avoid going to the pool this time. It sounds like they aren't confident enough to jump in if she needs help. And I think that arm floaties make it really difficult to learn to swim. I wouldn't want my child to take a step back, per se, and make something she can do fairly more difficult or uncomfortable.

[Redpoppy]

If the floaties are standard blow up floats that go on the arm, I would never depend on them to keep a child afloat it your mil can't swim. It would be a bubble (back float used in swimming lessons), life jacket, or puddle jumper. Your daughter is too big probably for puddle jumper.

DS (7) wears a life jacket at camp. They have tons of bubbles there but they don't deal with it with all the kids. They require it until he can pass the deep end test which is a lot of endurance. At home when he swims we just watch him closely.

[CrazyLucky]

What kind of swimming are you talking about? If it's a lifeguarded pool, then ok, she can take off the swimmies. If it' anywhere else, she can't go. No way in hell I'd let my kid swim when the only supervision doesn't know how to swim. What is she gets a sudden cramp, or if a wave gets her?

[redheadk]

I'm shocked that lifeguards are allowed to have their phones on the stands at pools. I've seen this mentioned before on here. Ours are not allowed to have them while on the stand. They are required to be scanning at all times. It's very strict and they are very responsive (quick to correct anything not in line with the rules, etc).

[curbsideprophet]

I feel like I need more details.

I would not rely on floaties as a life saving device so not really sure what purpose they would serve other than giving MIL a false sense of security.

[anna7602]

Sorry for the silence, more details: I meant arm floaties, I think, although maybe DD calls something else floaties? it's a community pool in my ILs' neighborhood. I don't know what the lifeguard situation is as I've never been myself. I just know what DD tells me, but do have to admit that I think it's a super weird activity for MIL to pick given that she doesn't swim at all herself. She doesn't even sunbathe. I'm walking to pick-up DD from swim camp a block from my home right now, so it's not like she wouldn't get to a pool at all if MIL didn't take her. Add this to the BSC list I have going... Anyway, I'll ask DH to talk to his mom about this.

[Alyssa]

My MIL is the opposite and boy is she on my shit list right now.

My 3 year old hasn't had a day of swim lessons and when I picked him up on Saturday from his grandmother's house, he was in her pool with nothing but a swimsuit.....up to his chin in the shallow end. She then gets up and leaves him to go around the side of the pool cabana to let us in through the locked gate. I was pissed! I can't believe how reckless she is. I told her he has to wear his puddle jumper and she actually gave me a little grief about it but complied. She felt she was watching him and always near....except the time she walked away to let us in.

I just watched a video last night about how drowning is usually quiet and it simply looks like a child bobbing up and down and then they go under. I seriously doubt she would even know that. Gah....I'm so mad at her right now.

[rootbeerfloat]

I agree that floaties wouldn't provide me with much sense of safety, particularly since MIL won't get in the pool. I don't make my kids wear floaties anymore, but they like to float around on pool noodles, so they can be in the deep, not because they will save them from drowning. Honestly, I'm generally in the pool with them or at least nearby, even if there is a lifeguard.

[ilikedonuts]

Someone who can't swim shouldn't take a young(er) child swimming.

[undecidedowl]

If there is a lifeguard, then I would say MIL can keep a very close eye on her and alert the lifeguard if needed so no floaties required. If there is no lifeguard, I would say no swimming, floaties or not. People struggle in water despite swimming ability (leg cramp, accidental fall, etc.) so if MIL isn't capable of hopping in to help I wouldn't be comfortable.

[SpartanGirl]

Aug 5, 2015 15:24:26 GMT -5 ilikedonuts said:

Someone who can't swim shouldn't take a young(er) child swimming.

I agree.  I'd have them skip the pool.