You all just have to work in the public sector where everyone knows your salary anyways.
But rugby, our mutual friend and her h are both in the public sector and they seem to be rolling in it compared to me and h. Massive house, name brand everything etc. When you know someone's salary it is even worse because you are like.. HOW??
I always just assume everyone except for me has a rich family.
You all just have to work in the public sector where everyone knows your salary anyways.
But rugby, our mutual friend and her h are both in the public sector and they seem to be rolling in it compared to me and h. Massive house, name brand everything etc. When you know someone's salary it is even worse because you are like.. HOW??
I always just assume everyone except for me has a rich family.
Ha! I had no idea they were rolling in it!
I just presume that people who have more money than I do (disposable or otherwise) have come from different circumstances...maybe they never had a student loan, or had help with a down payment, or bought a house young and made money on the resale...or all three!
I have a friend who will have her mortgage paid off by 40. She is single and I always wonder how she has managed to do it. But she has, and good for her!
You all just have to work in the public sector where everyone knows your salary anyways.
But rugby, our mutual friend and her h are both in the public sector and they seem to be rolling in it compared to me and h. Massive house, name brand everything etc. When you know someone's salary it is even worse because you are like.. HOW??Â
I always just assume everyone except for me has a rich family.Â
Your friend isn't stupid. She knows she's prioritized other things over vacations. She can still want to go on vacation.
See, this is me!! We spend a lot on stuff like exercise and eating out (seems contradictory, lol!!). But I still want to go on vacation!! I want it all!!
Your friend isn't stupid. She knows she's prioritized other things over vacations. She can still want to go on vacation.
See, this is me!! We spend a lot on stuff like exercise and eating out (seems contradictory, lol!!). But I still want to go on vacation!! I want it all!!
But not expensive cars, no interest.
Your exercise posts are awesome. And then they help you eat out! Win-win My new budget only allows $50/month for eating out so I've started selling kids stuff when they outgrow them to give me more $. Seriously.
I get the frustration that comes from strictly budgeting and having friends with similar (or higher) incomes make "must be nice" comments about your ability to afford things when you work really hard to do so. I think many of us have been their with friends who have different priorities and of course it would be nice if we could all afford everything. It's a natural reaction to wish you could have both. But your delivery (on here and to her) was all wrong. It's also an INCREDIBLY different situation to compare 2 income households to 1 income households (even if total HHI is the same) and discounted trips vs entirely OOP trips.
People say things like must be nice all the time. I get a discount at my store and people say 'must be nice' and I say 'yes it is' I don't hate them for it
I have a friend and her and her h make similar to me and my H. But they are swimming in money. Student loans. My h is still paying his off. They had zero. So when people ask me why we don't have all the things because we make lots of money student loans and my H lost his job for 5 mths. We didn't tell anyone. Not even my family. So maybe she is budgeting. And allowed to say 'must be nice'
And maybe you should both just be happy to have the choices
I try not to judge. I have a friend I love to death, and it makes me sad, especially now that we are older. She and her DH are just not good with money, no matter how much they make (more than enough to live comfortably on).
I just want her to be able to hang out with me when we are old, but I fear she will have to work forever.
I think one of the reasons we are so anal is because DH sees a LOT of people at his job who haven't saved for retirement and then start panicking at age 50. And it's resllllly hard to have a decent retirement if that's when you think about it. Luckily we have a bit of a safety net here in Canada, but it's not enough if you've never thought about it.
And I know we make a lot of $$. I'm not saying we don't. Both of our households do.
She often asks for financial advice which is why $$ conversations comes up. I never talk about $$ IRL with anyone else. I save it for the Internet. Lol.
I can also see how it "feels" different for both of them to work full time to make slightly less than how much your H makes on his own. Â I mean, hours worked, they are working more for the same amount of money, which may lead to that spending that you look down on, like "eating out."
Seriously. The more work I take on, the more I outsource stuff, not just childcare. I am pretty sure that no matter how much I earn, I ended up netting the same when I am working less and doing more things like cooking and cleaning as when I am working more and relying more on prepared foods and extra help around the house.
She shouldn't have said that. It was rude and not becoming.
The correct response should have been, we're not rich, but we are very fortunate that we get to take these trips. Then she would have looked like the asshole who is jealous.
People say things like must be nice all the time. I get a discount at my store and people say 'must be nice' and I say 'yes it is' I don't hate them for it
I have a friend and her and her h make similar to me and my H. But they are swimming in money. Student loans. My h is still paying his off. They had zero. So when people ask me why we don't have all the things because we make lots of money student loans and my H lost his job for 5 mths. We didn't tell anyone. Not even my family. So maybe she is budgeting. And allowed to say 'must be nice'
And maybe you should both just be happy to have the choices
No, you don't get to say "must be nice" it's like the equivalent of "bless your heart"
People also shouldn't be asking you why you don't have things. You could be swimming in money and still choose not to buy/have certain things.
She has spent an additional $100k on cars in the past three years (over what we spent). She could have put the $$ into a Rental property like we chose to do instead and have the rental income.
I have no idea how to manage a rental property or how to select real estate that would make an ideal rental property. I am not handy and my time is pretty full between my work, my hobbies, my two children and DH's own job and hobbies. Do you really think it's that easy to just buy investment properties and make income from them? The thought that everyone should just do this is about as laughable as if I suggested to my friends that doing a month-long vacation in Europe (as I just did, for a fair amount under $10k, incidentally) is "easy" and "cheap" as long as you've already established a network of friends there with whom to crash and know your way around enough to shop at the better-priced grocery stores and whatnot and have regular access to a decent kitchen.
Why are you so involved in each other's finances? That's a weird friendship and honestly, its none of her business what you make and vice versa. If you still feel the need to discuss finances with her, then be prepared to get these little digs tossed at you revolving around money.
I get the gist of what you were trying to say OP. I hear similar stuff from family members about the traveling I do, or from my SAHM friends who will complain about being poor and use the "must be nice" line on me because we're a two income household. I respond with the prioritization line a few people threw out there, or just change the subject. I can't imagine suggesting they budget though; I feel like that would be the equivalent of telling my SAHM friends to get a job.
(idea) I just figured out who this is. God I am so slow when it comes to gbcn names, lol.
If it makes you feel any better you're quicker than me b/c I still have no idea who this is.
OP, what stood out to me the most from your post was your comment "we live like we make $60,000/yr" after talking about your $4,000 vacations. People who make 60k cannot afford a 4k vacation, let alone several. You sound rather out of touch.
ETA: The first sentence is no longer true, obviously.